Survey Says: You Can’t Replace Dad
Christians can challenge the growing public safety crisis that is fatherlessness, and we must start in the Church. We must affirm, in word and in action, that there are men and there are women and that both matter in parenting. We have to de-normalize absent dads, challenge men to take responsibility for their sexual choices and for their children, and fill in the gaps whenever and however necessary.
In 2016, psychologist Dr. Peter Langman compiled biographical data on 56 American school shooters. He found that 82% had grown up in dysfunctional family situations, usually without two biological parents at home. The trend has sadly continued. The shooter in Uvalde, Texas, hadn’t lived with his father in years. The Sandy Hook shooter hadn’t seen his father in the two years leading up to that massacre.
Last month, new research from the Institute for Family Studies demonstrated, once again, how important fathers are, especially for boys. For example, boys growing up without their dads are only half as likely to graduate from college as their peers who live with dad at home. Strikingly, those numbers remain steady even after controlling for other factors such as race, income, and general IQ. Boys without a dad at home are also almost twice as likely to be “idle” in their late twenties, defined as neither working nor in school, and are significantly more likely to have been arrested or incarcerated by the time they turn 35.
These are only a few of the data points which demonstrate that fatherlessness is one of the most pressing crises our culture is facing. Why doesn’t our culture talk more about this?
One reason is that this crisis intersects other “third rails.” Our culture got to this point via the sexual revolution, which encouraged promiscuity by redefining freedom and prioritizing autonomy over responsibility. When sex outside of marriage becomes normal, it is mostly women who are left on their own to raise the resulting children.
There are other contributing factors as well, many of which were made possible by legislation. Divorce has been largely destigmatized, not in small part by making it legally easier.
Related Posts:
You Might also like
-
“This Is Not What I Signed Up For.” Unsettling Exodus of Pastors Leaving the Ministry
Written by Jesse T. Jackson |
Thursday, September 23, 2021
A professor from the University of Dubuque Theological Seminary, Christopher B. James, gave his thoughts as to why he believes the trend of pastors leaving ministry is occurring. James said, “In addition to being a hard job with mediocre pay, many pastors don’t think it’s worth it to try to maintain dying churches and are curious what Christian life & leadership might look like outside the clergy role. It’s part of a wider unraveling and reconfiguration of church.” White replied to Prof. James, “I think you’re on to something.”High numbers of pastors leaving ministry are an an exodus that’s concerning to pastors‘ coach and co-founder Dan White Jr. of The KINEO Center, a place focused on offering healing for tired and traumatized leaders. On May 3, 2021, White posted on Twitter that he knows 28 pastor friends who have resigned this year, most of whom are leaving pastoral ministry altogether. White coaches approximately 70 to 80 pastors a year in his circle of about 500 or so.
Why Are Pastors Leaving Ministry?
White, a former pastor himself, asked “What is occurring?”
It doesn’t seem to be in any particular denomination as White shared that his friends come from a mix of denominations including Baptist, Lutheran, Pentecostal, Anglican, Methodist, Mennonite, and Christian Reformed. Only nine of them were Evangelical pastors and just 10 out of the 28 he mentioned were bi-vocational.
“I’ve been coaching for about 10 years, never seen this kind of disruption.”- Dan White Jr.
White replied to a follower’s question about the average age and lifestyle of those he has seen transitioning out of pastoral ministry, saying in his experience they’ve been between the ages of 35 to 50. Some have served as many as 25 years in the pastoral ministry. “I do think it’s some kind of inner crisis with ‘what are my desires, really?’ coupled with a pain threshold ‘the attacks and loss are just too much; I’m miserable,’” he wrote.
He revealed that about half the 28 pastors he referred to were “People of Color” when someone asked if the majority of those who have left the ministry were African American pastors. He also stated that all of the 28 left by their choice; they weren’t forced out or fired.
A professor from the University of Dubuque Theological Seminary, Christopher B. James, gave his thoughts as to why he believes the trend of pastors leaving ministry is occurring. James said, “In addition to being a hard job with mediocre pay, many pastors don’t think it’s worth it to try to maintain dying churches and are curious what Christian life & leadership might look like outside the clergy role. It’s part of a wider unraveling and reconfiguration of church.” White replied to Prof. James, “I think you’re on to something.”
The active Twitter thread contains a handful of pastors currently in ministry and some who have left the ministry. One pastor told White, “As a minister struggling with whether to stay in parish ministry, I’m so hurt by all the replies that blame clergy for quitting. I’ve given my life to the Church, asked my family to sacrifice & ended up with my a** kicked. American church is broken.”
A former pastor of 30 years also wrote, “I’m one of those. After 30 years I felt God was calling me out of paid ministry into the marketplace. I’m convinced that many, many pastors have lost the ability to speak the same language of those outside of the church.”
Read More -
8 Symbols That Give Us a Portrait of Jesus—Revelation 1:9-17
The disciples saw Jesus before his death, resurrection, and ascension, before he had shown them all that he is and all that he had done. In this vision we see Jesus in his complete post-ascension power and glory. Nothing is missing.
“I wish I could have seen Jesus, just like the disciples did.”
You might crave this, especially in hard times. To be next to Jesus, to listen to him and see him face-to-face. To be comforted by that living presence.
In fact, we have been given something even better than that. Revelation 1:9-17 brings us face-to-face with Jesus. Through John’s eyes and ears we see and hear him. And by the Holy Spirit this vision becomes immediate and alive. Here we do not just read about someone who once came face-to-face with Christ. Instead, the Holy Spirit brings us here and now into his actual presence.
Why is this “better” than what the disciples had two thousand years ago? It is better because the disciples saw Jesus before his death, resurrection, and ascension, before he had shown them all that he is and all that he had done. In this vision we see Jesus in his complete post-ascension power and glory. Nothing is missing. Are you ready?I, John, your brother and partner in the tribulation and the kingdom and the patient endurance that are in Jesus, was on the island called Patmos on account of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus (Rev. 1:9).
They say that John was the only disciple not to die a violent death. Yet he was forced to “patiently endure” for Jesus. He was exiled by the authorities to Patmos, a rugged little volcanic island in the Dodecanese, two hours by ferry from the coast of Turkey. The Sea is a major character in Revelation, appearing in twenty-one verses. John was certainly in the midst of it on that rocky crag.
The NIV version of Revelation 1:9 describes John as “a companion in the suffering…that are ours in Jesus.” Suffering also means pressure. Jesus said, “‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you” (John 15:20). Persecution and pressure are integral to the Christian life.
Exile was intended to get John “out of the way.” God used John’s exile, however, to record this apocalyptic vision, which would help and strengthen Christians for millennia to come.I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet saying, “Write what you see in a book and send it to the seven churches, to Ephesus and to Smyrna and to Pergamum and to Thyatira and to Sardis and to Philadelphia and to Laodicea” (Rev. 1:10-11).
This is the only “Lord’s Day” reference in the New Testament. Most think that it is Sunday, the first day of the week, the day of Jesus’ resurrection, and of Pentecost. Two other passages describe Christians gathering on “the first day of the week” (Acts 20:7; 1 Cor 16:12), so it is no surprise that from the very beginning the church called Sunday “the Lord’s Day” and gathered that day to worship Christ.
This is what John was doing. He was “in the Spirit,” and the Holy Spirit gave him the extraordinary vision which we are about to read. A “loud voice like a trumpet” seizes John’s attention like the priestly trumpets that called Israel to assemble in God’s presence. That is exactly where John finds himself and where he is commanded to write what he sees on a scroll. Only a select few in the ancient world were trained to write and read, so John’s ability was a rare one. How wonderfully he used that skill.
The seven churches that John writes to are all in Asia Minor and form a roughly clockwise circle. Seven letters were written into one large letter that was to be passed from church to church and read out loud. No doubt it was also copied.Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man. (Rev. 1:12-13a)
John turned to see the same Son of Man that Daniel 7:13-14 describes, coming “with the clouds of heaven” (Rev 1:7). Note that he is “among” the lampstands. We will come back to that. Look now at how Jesus, the Son of Man, is portrayed to us with eight symbols. Each of them is very important.
1. Jesus’ Priestly Robe and Sash[He was] clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around his chest (Rev. 1:13b).
Moses had clothed Aaron with a tunic and sash (Lev. 8:7). It was the basic uniform of an Old Testament priest.
His robe and golden sash identifies Jesus also as a priest and mediator. He speaks to us on God’s behalf and prays to God on our behalf. He stands before God interceding and pleading for the salvation and welfare of his people. Be encouraged, for he is most certainly heard:For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. (Heb. 4:15)
2. Jesus’ White Hair
The hairs of his head were white, like white wool, like snow (Rev. 1:14a).
As we age the pigment cells in our hair follicles die. With less melanin our hair becomes more transparent, appearing grey, silver, or white. This is not a disaster. In the Bible some “snow on the roof” advertises wisdom, the experience that comes with having travelled around the sun a few more times than one’s contemporaries.
Read More
Related Posts: -
The High Calling of the Pastor
While the public ministry of preaching is vital, most salvation and spiritual growth happens in the context of private ministry. Baxter noted that it is this private ministry that lends credence and trustworthiness to preaching.[2] This private ministry is so important that Baxter spends more than a third of the book discussing it. It is no less important today. In numerous parables, Jesus described the Kingdom of Heaven as starting small then growing slowly and gradually. If that is the way Christ will built His Church, then that is what all Christians—especially pastors—must focus on.
So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.
-1 Peter 5:1-4, ESV
Recently, we have addressed the subject of church conflict. First, we saw that stirring up division in the church demonstrates a lack of love for the church and therefore a lack of love for Jesus Christ. Then, we looked at ways to approach conflict in the church, including circumstances in which church leaders are either straying from sound doctrine or committing sins that make them no longer qualified biblically to hold their office. Therein, I repeatedly referred to our obligation to honor our pastors, even when we must rebuke them for serious sins or doctrinal errors. I believe a major reason that we struggle with this is that we do not understand what the job of a pastor actually entails. If we truly understood this, we would have no trouble honoring our pastors as Scripture commands. A better understanding of their calling would also help us to discern when they are straying from that calling to the point where rebuke becomes necessary. My aim here is to help us all understand both the duty and high calling of the pastoral ministry so that we know how to strengthen and encourage them in this work as well as how to spot significant deviations from it.
The Job of the Pastor
What is the job of the pastor? Many people see the pastor’s role as little more than preaching on Sunday morning. This is very important, but it is only one small part of the pastor’s job. In simplest terms, the pastor’s job is to lead and care for the church. As I noted in my leadership paper, Scripture often uses the metaphor of the shepherd to describe what leadership should look like. Jesus then uses this metaphor by calling Himself the Good Shepherd in John 10 and then charging Peter to feed His sheep in John 21. Peter then extends this charge to all pastors: “shepherd the flock of God that is among you” (1 Peter 5:2a). He goes on to describe the manner in which pastors must do this. They must be willing and eager to serve in this capacity rather than being compelled to it. They must not do it out of greed for personal gain or in a domineering way, setting an example for everyone around them. We will discuss these more later, but it is important to note that all of this is prefaced by “exercising oversight”. In other words, the pastor must exercise oversight in the church. That oversight must be willing, eager, and neither greedy nor domineering, but it must be present.
What does it mean for pastors to be shepherds exercising oversight? In rebuking the Jewish leaders for their failure in this area, God lays out what a good shepherd looks like in Ezekiel 34. Based on this passage, second-generation reformer Martin Bucer divided the responsibilities of the pastor into five categories: lead lost souls to Christ, restore those who are straying, assist saints who are in sin, strengthen the spiritually weak, and protect all saints from sin and error—all of which generally fall into the category of soul care.[1] In other words, to properly shepherd the flock is to care for each individual soul in the church in a way that ministers to each person in his or her particular context. This means that in addition to preaching and public evangelism, the responsibilities of the pastor include counseling and private evangelism, meeting with people in their homes, visiting the sick, and church discipline. This requires really knowing people and meeting them where they are in their lives, which cannot happen without pastors descending from the pulpit and entering into the messy lives of those in the congregation…all of them. Puritan Richard Baxter says this:
“To this end it is necessary, that we should know every person that belongeth to our charge; for how can we take heed of them, if we do not know them? We must labour to be acquainted, not only with the persons, but with the state of all our people, with their inclinations and conversations; what are the sins of which they are most in danger, and what duties they are most apt to neglect, and what temptations they are most liable to; for if we know not their temperament or disease, we are not likely to prove successful physicians.”
-Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor, Edinburgh, UK: Banner of Truth Trust: 2020 (orig. 1656): 65.
Is Baxter really saying that pastors need to know every person in the church? Yes. In our day, this may seem impossible, but perhaps that is because our view of the pastorate has deviated substantially from Scripture. We often think of a church having as single lead pastor, but if that pastor should know everyone in the congregation, that will severely limit the size of the church. Certainly it is impossible for megachurch pastors to know every person in the church, but it is just as difficult for a pastor to do this in medium sized churches. This drives home the point that with the exception of very small churches, a single pastor cannot adequately shepherd the flock God has entrusted to him. The biblical model instead calls for a plurality of pastors who can share this load between them. Whether this takes the form of a lead pastor with associate pastors or a combination of full-time and bi-vocational elders, it is absolutely essential. Just as Moses was unable to lead the nation of Israel alone (Exodus 18), so pastors should not expect (nor be expected) to lead their churches alone. When discussing tithing, I suggested that an adequately tithing church should be able to support a full-time staff member for every fifteen households or so. Coincidentally—or rather providentially—this is similar to most conventional secular wisdom on the appropriate scope of oversight that any one leader is capable of. Such a high pastor-to-household ratio may seem like a pipe dream, but the closer we get to it, the healthier our churches will be.
Even in churches that understand this, there can be a split between preaching and other responsibilities such that there is one main pastor who preaches while all of the other pastors or elders are charged with everything else. This is not the biblical model. It is true that Peter, Paul, and the other apostles focused on preaching the Gospel, but they also visited the sick and ministered to families in their homes. Furthermore, the personal references in of Paul’s letters indicates that he had a close relationship with various people in those churches. So while some pastors may focus on preaching while others focus on the other aspects of ministry, all pastors are charged to labor in all aspects of ministry.
Read More
Related Posts: