The False Promise of the Sigma Male
A recent column in the Guardian explored the rise of self-described “Sigma males.” The columnist opens with this description:
You are a lone wolf. You are an independent thinker who makes his own rules. You are confident and competent. Women are drawn to you, but you don’t really care about them. Your day begins at 4:30 a.m. with a cold shower, followed by a punishing workout and an even more punishing skincare routine. You shun conventional career paths and run your own business, probably in crypto or real estate or vigilante crime fighting. You are that rarest of males—you are a sigma.
Social media platforms are full of content targeting young men who aspire to this kind of life. YouTube features videos with instructions, steps, and guides.
The so-called “Sigma” life is just another model of masculinity in a culture where young men, many without positive male role models in their own lives, search for the meaning of life. Some of the content in these spaces is helpful, such as tips on exercise, diet, and finance.
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Living in Meshech & Kedar
Those who lie for power, influence, and gain, hate the gospel of the Lord Jesus. It is that simple. What is more, this Psalm could and should be applied to the life of Christ. He, in his own country, was not received. Though he was in Jerusalem it was like he was sojourning in Meshech and dwelling in Kedar. He was for peace but surrounded by liars. His peace is found in the truth of belief and repentance toward Him who is truth. And that is what our country needs today. It needs the peace of Christ through repentance and faith.
The Psalms are an invitation to experience the Psalmist’s experience. That must be clarified. The Psalmist often provides us with just enough information so that we cannot locate the Psalm in any given geography or time in history. Yes, there are those Psalms that set us down by the streams of Babel or in the courts of Jerusalem’s temple but then there are those Psalms, like Psalm 120, which provide us with little to nothing by way of sitz im leben. They invite us into the experience of the Psalmist.
For example, in Psalm 120, is the Psalmist saying that he sojourns in Meshech (Asia Minor) and dwells in Kedar (North Arabia)? Well, it would be impossible to do both. So perhaps he has something else in mind. Likely, he is describing his current location, unknown to the reader, as Meshech and Kedar to help the reader understand the religious and moral climate he is experiencing. This latter idea is best.
The opening of the Psalm gives even more insight. The Psalmist is in distress. Why? Because he is surrounded by lying lips and deceitful tongues (v. 2). Apparently, Meshech was known for being a warring people and Kedar for belligerence. They were difficult people. Most belligerent people are! Thus, he feels himself to be among enemies and treated as such in return.
Does that description invite you into the Psalmist’s experience? For me, it certainly does. An evening this past week, I watched President Biden tell the media gathered around him at an ice cream shop that the “economy is as strong as H–.”[1]What is more, the President tried to blame our inflation on other countries instead of acknowledging that his administration printed money like there was no tomorrow! This is not the first time Joe Biden has mislead the public. And these are not the only lies that have come from his administration. Remember how NBC News anchor Chuck Todd asked the Vice President Harris, “We’re going to have 2 million people cross this border for the first time ever. You’re confident this border’s secure?” Her answer? “We have a secure boarder.” These examples of the current administration are not isolated. They could be multiplied endlessly.
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The Grace God Provides for Daily Living
Your sin cannot separate you from the grace of God or the love of God (Rom 8:38-39). I love this one! Your sin cannot outpace the love and grace of God for you in Christ. So, should we be sinning? No. But, when we do, we can have the greatest confidence in the grace brought to us in Christ, motivated by His love.
In a fallen world, aren’t you grateful for God’s grace. We need it. With pressures from outside of us and pressures inside of us, we need the steadying, active, enabling grace of God in our lives. The good news is that, in fact, God does provide grace and mercy for us. Mercy means God does not give us what we deserve; instead, God provides us grace, which means He gives us much better than we deserve. God’s grace is grace for you and enables you to live as God intends for you to live. God’s grace is grace unto change. Here’s the scoop regarding the grace God provides for daily living.
The Promises of Grace
When we look through the Scriptures, God makes several promises related to the grace He provides us through Christ. In the moment of salvation, God immediately makes all this grace available to the new person in Christ (cf., 2 Pet 1:2-4). The grace of God rests in the exceedingly great and precious promises provided by our union with Christ. So, what are they?God began a good work in you at salvation and continues that work every day you live on earth. The work itself completes only after you get to heaven or Jesus comes back. What incredible news and grace! You sin cannot ruin the grace of God included in His plan for you. What God begins – which includes your salvation, God finishes – which includes your glorification someday when you arrive in heaven. Those that are saved are described as God’s creative masterpiece, in whom God continually works. Here is the good news: God continually works in you as a matter of His character, His love, and His commitment to you. Furthermore, your sin cannot circumvent God’s plan or grace.
God’s Grace/Mercy is New Every Morning (LAM 3:22-24).
This truth and these two verses in Lamentations repeatedly rank as some of the most cherished verses in the Bible. Every single morning, God extends His mercies fresh to you. Regardless of what you did yesterday, how you responded to your circumstances, or whatever it was that you pursued, you did not burn out God’s compassion. Instead, His compassion, mercy, and grace are renewed. One of my favorite ways to consider this kind of grace/mercy that is available daily to us is through the story of manna and the children of Israel. Every day, regardless of what God’s children had done the day before, God provided fresh manna in the wilderness. Not so much that they had more than a day’s provision; instead, God provided just enough manna for that particular day. Resting on the new day’s dew, God provided manna fresh every single morning. God provides grace for us, resting on His good character and promise through the Spirit, fresh every single morning.
Although grace is not specifically mentioned in this verse, I love to have people memorize the simple statement along with this verse, “God’s grace is up to the challenge.”
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Accomplishments as High as Heaven, Character as Low as Hell
The Bible calls all Christians to be above reproach, to have unquestionable character, to have a life that is so consistent that no blame or disgrace can be attached to it. Pastors (and surely any others with a public platform) are expected to exemplify this virtue. When they have been involved in a scandal that, if found out, would bring reproach upon Christ and his church, the best and wisest and holiest thing they can do is to protect Christ’s cause by removing themselves from public ministry. This is a display of true repentance, a proof of genuine remorse.
In recent months the evangelical world has been rocked by a number of scandals, by news of yet more leaders who used their churches or ministries to indulge themselves to the harm of others. These are yet more cases of men who will no doubt stand before God some day and plead all their accomplishments—“Didn’t I preach the gospel for you? Didn’t I encourage many people in their faith? Didn’t I lead many people to the Lord?” Yet despite such pleas, they will surely hear words of the severest condemnation. They will learn in that day that accomplishments stacked as high as heaven are no recompense for character sunk as low as hell.
Their stories are consistent with so many others in a number of details, including this: There were many times at which they should have stepped aside. There were many times at which, had they genuinely loved the Lord and wanted the best for his church, they would have acknowledged their disqualification from any kind of public ministry and then quietly backed away. They would have displayed their love for the Lord by their willingness to abandon the platform they had proven themselves unworthy of. There may still have been scandal, but it would have been tempered by their genuine repentance, their genuine willingness to leave behind all the benefits that came with their platform. It would have been tempered if only they had shown humility by initiating their own departure.
But that’s not the way it goes, is it? No one ever resigns. No one ever steps aside. No one ever has such integrity that he counts himself disqualified and removes himself from public ministry. Or very few, anyway.
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