For many years, it was widely assumed that this much higher level of unhappiness was due to humiliation over others’ disapproval. Though society has become much more accepting of the LGBQT lifestyle, unhappiness persists even among those surrounded by affirmation. Being gay or transgender may be celebrated in our culture, but that doesn’t change its nature or eliminate the harm to those engaging in such a lifestyle.

Sex as God intended—in marriage, between a man and a woman—is a pleasure to be celebrated (see Proverbs 5:15-19). Sex outside of marriage brings serious negative consequences—emotional, physical, and spiritual. Promising long-term pleasure it can’t deliver, addiction to sex and pornography enslave and degrade everyone involved. “[The adulterer] follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter. . . . He does not know that it will cost him his life” (Proverbs 7:22-23).

Research data from 16,000 American adults who were asked confidentially how many sex partners they’d had in the preceding year proved the same point made in the book of Proverbs: “Across men and women alike, the data show that the optimal number of partners is one.” [1] Other research similarly revealed that “people with more sexual partners are less happy.” [2]
Satan would like us to believe that people who have sex outside marriage are happier, but that’s a lie.
Sin Does Not Lead to Lasting Happiness
The unhappiest-looking person I’ve ever seen—face drawn and haggard, eyes vacant—was holding a sign that said, “Gay and happy about it.” I’m not suggesting, of course, that homosexuals can never be happy. God’s common grace offers some happiness to all. But Romans 1:27 speaks of those making these choices as “receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” Romans lists many other sins God hates, yet that one is singled out as particularly self-punishing.
I’ve had long, honest talks with those living the “gay lifestyle” who are decidedly miserable—just like many heterosexuals who have idols of their own.
Teenagers and single adults often face heavy pressure to pretend they’re having a great time sleeping around, when privately they’re filled with self-loathing and disillusionment, because reality never lives up to the promises. Likewise, there’s pressure on gay people to project an image of fulfillment. Some people—both heterosexuals and homosexuals—go out of their way to publicly celebrate their promiscuous behavior, all while trying to ignore the emptiness and pain. With the Satan-scripted obligatory claim, “[Fill in sin] makes me happy,” they offer false advertising for the father of lies, who relishes their self-destruction.
Little Idols vs. Infinite God
There’s a tragic irony in the positive term gay. No matter how happy gay may sound, these are the facts about the suicide rate among homosexuals:
The risk of suicide among gay and lesbian youth is fourteen times higher than for heterosexual youth.
Between 30 and 45 percent of transgendered people report having attempted suicide.
I didn’t get these statistics from religious conservatives, but from a secular website sympathetic to gay and lesbian issues. [3] A study that analyzed twenty-five earlier studies regarding sexual orientation and mental health showed that “homosexuals and bisexuals are about 50% more likely than their heterosexual counterparts to suffer from depression and abuse drugs.” [4]
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One of the keys to Joni’s suffering is singing. As she suffers the effects of her paralysis, as she endures chronic pain, as she persists through illness, she sings. And it’s out of her singing-through-suffering that she brings a new book titled Songs of Suffering. This book is a series of devotionals based upon 25 hymns that have proven especially precious to her.

Few people have a sweeter and kinder spirit than Joni Eareckson Tada. Few people have suffered longer and more consistently than Joni Eareckson Tada. These two things—sweetness and suffering—do not necessarily go together, but by God’s grace they can and often do. They most certainly do in Joni’s life which is one of the reasons so many of us admire and honor her.
One of the keys to Joni’s suffering is singing. As she suffers the effects of her paralysis, as she endures chronic pain, as she persists through illness, she sings. And it’s out of her singing-through-suffering that she brings a new book titled Songs of Suffering. This book is a series of devotionals based upon 25 hymns that have proven especially precious to her.
“I have lived with quadriplegia for more than half a century,” she explains, “and have wrestled with chronic pain for much of that time. I struggle with breathing problems and am in an ongoing battle against cancer. All this makes for a perfect storm for discouragement.”
Yet when my hip and back are frozen in pain, or it’s simply another weary day of plain paralysis, I strengthen myself with Jesus’s example in the upper room.
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As Christian brothers and sisters united together in Christ, we must take time to be part of each other’s lives. True fellowship means knowing each other intimately. Fellowship is not done merely over a meal but in the sometimes private areas of life such as listening to a friend in pain or hardship. It means working to know the heart of others by sincerely striving to learn about them, their families, their work, and their difficulties.

I remember growing up in the church in the late sixties and early seventies when the word “koinonia” became popular to describe the special relationship that exists among members of the body of Christ, his church. Today, this Greek word is often translated in the Bible as “sharing” (e.g., Heb. 13:6) or “fellowship” (e.g., 1 John 1:3-7). It is not used very often in Scripture, nineteen times in the New Testament, but in common usage it often finds its way into the language of the church such as naming places and events—“Fellowship” Hall, “Fellowship” Meal, and spending some time in “fellowship.”
One aspect of Christian fellowship is sharing.
Fellowship is not a word unique to Christianity though (some academic benefits are called “fellowships”). When this English word developed in the late Middle Ages it was used to describe close friendships, companionship, and unity among members of a group. But what does it mean in Christian circles where it seems to be most often used when Christians gather together? What does it mean, from a biblical perspective, to have “fellowship”? One aspect of Christian fellowship is sharing.
Sharing is an important part of Christian fellowship. As members of the body of Christ we are to be a sharing people, not only in terms of the good things of life, material things, financial benefits, meals, and hospitality, but also in suffering.
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