Endurance is tested when ministering to a person with dementia. The family may listen to repetitive questions and stories. Patience is needed while the sufferer struggles to express a thought. The loved one may react with stubbornness or anger when attempts are made to protect them from danger or when a familiar routine must change. She might falsely accuse her caregiver of hiding or even stealing her belongings. Long-term patience is needed while waiting for the sad outcome. Emphasize to your counselee that the Lord is building endurance.

Editor’s Note: Our June 2024 mini-series on the BCC Grace and Truth blog addresses supporting caregiving families of dementia sufferers. In this first article, Caroline Newheiser offers three suggestions for counselees interacting with a loved one with dementia. In other contributions to the series, Beverly Moore provides encouragement and wisdom for families as they take on the role of caretaker for a loved one with dementia, and Dave Deuel considers how we can reframe soul care ministry from a church building to a home or care facility in order to faithfully minister to individuals with dementia and their caregivers.
As our population lives longer than in past generations, biblical counselors will see more cases involving dementia sufferers. Some will ask for help figuring out how to love a person with this condition. These counselees need gospel hope and help as they interact with a loved one who has dementia. Here are three suggestions.
1. Acquire Knowledge
You, the counselor, might need to educate yourself about this condition. Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are often put in the same category, but according to a Mayo Clinic article, dementia is not a disease, it is a description of symptoms. These symptoms affect a person’s “ability to perform everyday activities on their own.”[1] Alzheimer’s disease, which is a specific disease of the brain, is a subset of dementia.
Your counselees also may need to learn more. Suggest that your counselee push past their overwhelming emotions in order to seek more information. The internet has answers, classes are offered for caregivers, and support groups connect people with shared experiences. Be sure to emphasize the knowledge of God’s character. He comforts those walking through the valley of the shadow of death (Ps. 23:4).
2. Address the Counselee’s Emotions
The person who comes to you after hearing that their loved one has dementia is likely dealing with a flood of emotions. My family experienced these when my father was diagnosed with dementia.

Grief – Lament began as soon as we heard this grim diagnosis. We had hope when my dad began taking medication to slow the disease. But the reality was that there would be no recovery of lost function. We began putting greater value on each day. My flights halfway across the United States increased as I took turns with my sister to give my mother physical, moral, and spiritual support. We began our slow farewell. The grieving process had begun. Those loved by my father realized that his daily prayers for us were diminishing and would eventually cease. We grieved this loss of connection. Some families even travel to visit their loved one, only to realize that he or she no longer recognizes them. This grief is poignant and piercing. Jesus understands this pain.

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Some common ways God reveals himself in a dynamic way are through prayer and Scripture reading, but there’s also a connection between our ethical actions (doing justice, for example) and our knowledge of God. We gain an even better understanding of God as we participate with him in his mission, a part of which is justice. We go from knowing about God to knowing God. From static to dynamic. 

A few years back, my church went through A.W. Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy. That book, perhaps more than any other, taught me about who God is—his attributes and desires, his likes and dislikes, his view of his creation, including man.
That book had such a profound effect on me, I read it once a year. As good a book as it is, though, Tozer would never think his book is a substitute for living a life in relationship with God.
Here’s what I mean by that: Knowing about someone is not the same as knowing that person. We would never claim to know Abraham Lincoln after reading a few biographies about him. In the same way, we shouldn’t equate knowing God with simply gaining knowledge about him from books, church, or Bible studies.
To know someone, we must spend time with that person and participate in life with him. It’s often easy to mistake knowledge about God for knowing God. Why do I bring this up? Because the idea of knowing God has been a missing component in our discussion about doing justice.
Justice flows from the very character of God. In fact, Dietrich Bonhoeffer—one of the German Christians who resisted Hitler—pointed out that there’s a connection between justice and our ability to know God. When we participate with God in seeking justice for the vulnerable, seeking their good, and living out biblical justice in all areas of our lives, we are, at the same time, participating with God and building our relationship with him.
In his book Pursuing Justice, Ken Wytsma uses static and dynamic art as a way to describe the difference between knowing about God and the knowledge that comes from being in a relationship with God.
A painting is static. It doesn’t move. You can learn a lot about the painter by looking at it, but you never know the painter in a personal way simply by looking at his art.
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You may not have done much Outreach & Evangelism. You may have gotten out of the habit. You may even feel a little intimidated by the prospect. Do not despair. This event will pair you and others with seasoned leaders to go out for an hour to act on the Great Commission in Memphis, Tennessee.

You may not have done much Outreach & Evangelism. You may have gotten out of the habit. You may even feel a little intimidated by the prospect. Do not despair. This event will pair you and others with seasoned leaders to go out for an hour or two in one opportunity to fulfil the Great Commission in Memphis, Tennessee. Once you witness your leaders engaging in O&E your juices will flow and you will be emboldened to speak the Gospel without fear.  When you return from outreach to go to into the opening worship services of the 50th General Assembly at 6:30 pm, you will do so renewed in your commitment to God; you will be encouraged to continue to practice evangelism when you return to your home area.
In a few weeks thousands of godly teaching and ruling elders will descend upon the city center of a significant U.S. city for the annual General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA).  In our hearts we will carry the joy of the knowledge of what Christ has done for us in reconciling us to God, a message that should burst forth from the overflow of our hearts. An opportunity is being arranged to exercise our calling to proclaim the hope that is within us to the nations.
On Tuesday, June 13, PCA men and women will go forth proclaiming our hope on the Beale Street in Memphis from 5-6 pm.
You may not have done much Outreach & Evangelism. You may have gotten out of the habit. You may even feel a little intimidated by the prospect. Do not despair. This event will pair you and others with seasoned leaders to go out for an hour to act on the Great Commission in Memphis, Tennessee. Once you witness your leaders engaging in O&E your juices will flow and you will be emboldened to speak the Gospel without fear.  When you return from outreach to go to into the opening worship services of the 50th General Assembly, you will do so with a nearness to God that you will long to hold onto forever.
Will open air preaching be the harsh and combative stuff of Westboro Baptist?
No.  Sharing the Gospel, even as a street preacher is not something that should be a finger pointing combative exercise to sate some kind of persecution ideology. What would you preach to your congregation in an evangelistic sermon? Share the bad news that we have all sinned and fall short of God’s righteous standard and that the penalty of sin is death, then the Good News that Christ reconciles believers to God through faith in Him.  We are going with great news.
I’m better at personal evangelism.
There will be those who lead personal evangelism groups. Also, needed will be people to hand out materials.
Can women participate?
Yes!  While the open-air preaching of the Word will be reserved for men, we need our godly women to evangelize women, distribute tracts, perform various support services, like driving people from the convention center to the Beale and serving as prayer warriors!
Most of all, encourage your husbands and fathers.
Dr. Henry Krabbendam, the notable OPC pastor and evangelist to Uganda tells a story about a pastor in an area that was being overtaken by communists years ago.  The communists, as they are wont to do, were threatening Christians with imprisonment. One pastor, perhaps looking for relief from his wife, said to her, “You know, I will have to go out and preach the Gospel regardless.  It may well mean that you will soon be without me.”  To which his wife replied, “If you don’t go out.  I will push you out.”
The reality is that godly women desire nothing more than to see their husbands and fathers shod with the shoes of peace, taking up the shield of faith and the Sword of the Lord and going forth as a warrior for our Lord, Jesus Christ!
What do we need?

People! Especially those who have experience with evangelism, whether that be face-to-face or as open-air preachers to help lead and encourage others.
People who can shuttle field workers from the center to Beale St. and back.
People who are prayer warriors. We ask that people pray regularly leading up to GA that God will work mightily on the streets of Memphis. (We will have hand out cards directing people to Gospel preaching churches in the area.  May they be blessed.)
You may purchase your own tracts.

If you desire to participate in this evangelism outreach or have questions, contact Jim Shaw.
We will meet in the conference center at 4:15 pm for a brief time of intercessory prayer and then leave promptly at 4:45. If you come on your own, we will stage at the corner of Beale and BB King Blvd.  You can call or text me on my cell: 205-451-5433.
Jim Shaw is a Minister in the Presbyterian Church in America and Pastor of Redeemer PCA in Brunswick, GA.
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