The World Wants Your Family
Being different, being set apart and having a close family creates a sense of identity and purpose. Today so many young people are confused because they don’t know who they are, what they believe, or what their past is: they know nothing. They are adrift and depressed and confused to the point of trying to change their biology! But by doing things differently from the status quo, we as parents give our children a solid foundation that our kids can rely on. They don’t have to question who they are because we’ve told them and shown them and lived it for them their whole lives. And that will anchor them as they go into the world.
Nearly every day we are bombarded with stories of troubled teens and young adults, struggling with their identity to the point of desiring sex changes, of the rise in drug use, of young men shooting up schools, of the high rate of depression and anxiety amongst college students, and of growing loneliness among all populations. Like many parents, I want to spare my children those troubles, but unlike previous generations, our culture seems to breed troubled children faster than ever before. Even Christian parents struggle to raise their children in a culture that is designed to draw children away from their family and faith. I’d like to argue that parents need to make radical changes to their conceptions of what it means for their children to be successful and for what that means in raising them in day-to-day home life. What good, hard-working families have done in the past will not suffice in today’s environment.
I recently posted to my social media account about some adjustments we made to our home life, sparking fruitful questions and conversation among friends. Along with a photo of cookies waiting to be baked, I said:
We made some big changes to our life this fall which required some sacrifice. But the end result was more time for me to be home. Probably sounds crazy that a stay-at-home mom needs more home time, but homeschooling is a full-time job now and I needed time to be home and not schooling. My kids are getting older and we don’t have forever with them in the house; I want their memories to be of cookies and good food and a warm home, not of mom frantically driving them all around town to various activities. So here’s to cookies and good memories!
One friend asked what specifically we had done to “slow down for family time” and mentioned, “Our society places so much emphasis on [activities] and I’m wrestling with going against the grain.” She’s right. In order to succeed in life (or so we were told growing up), a kid needs to get good grades, go to college and get a good job. In order to get into a good college, kids are encouraged to be involved in school sports, student government, and a variety of other activities that not only showcase the student’s talent and abilities, but hopefully lead to ever-more-competitive scholarships. That often means extra-curricular activities multiple nights a week, sport commitments requiring entire weekends dedicated to tournaments, not to mention church events or other community activities to which a family might be committed. With multiple children in the family, even if mom stays at home, it’s difficult to have regular family meals, and those sports weekends would require splitting the family up at various fields, tournaments, and locations so that there is very little time spent together. Families have no time for family worship, and often skip corporate worship in lieu of competing sports commitments. The result: a group of people who share the same last name, but have their own distinct, personal goals often at odds with the well-being of the family unit. Well-meaning Christian parents seem surprised when after years of this, their kids go off to college and abandon the faith they grew up with and the political convictions their parents believe in.
So what can a family do? How do you raise Christian children, grounded in their faith and secure in their identity? Each family is different, but there are certain principles that can be followed by families wanting to fight against current cultural trends. First, back to the basics: every stable family starts with a dad and mom committed to each other and to the well-being of their children. Having a stable family requires personal sacrifice from both the husband and the wife, but that sacrifice will produce good fruit not only for the parents, but also for their children and subsequent generations. Second, there must be a family hierarchy. The husband is the head of the wife and of the family, and the children must submit to their parents (Ephesians 5:22-6:4). Third, but by no means least in importance, the Christian family must make their faith a priority. Go to worship every week. Be involved in your local congregation. Seek to serve those in your church. Practice hospitality. Diligently teach your children the faith.
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Can I Lose My Salvation? (The Doctrine of Perseverance)
It’s Christ’s Word that warns, guides, teaches, and encourages us as we persevere in faith. We may think of Peter, who, after having fallen away for a time, was restored to Christ on the strength of His truth spoken to him (John 21:15–17). If we wish to endure, it’s imperative we become children of the Word. And so, we look to Christ. We listen to His Word. And finally, we situate ourselves among His people.
Few things burden the Christian more than when a person who once professed Christ wanders from the Gospel. If you take inventory of your own experience, you may come up with a list of names of those who once mentored you in the faith, led your church in worship on Sundays, or even taught the Bible to you yet ultimately (it seems) left the faith. Tragically, the world is filled with people who once apparently walked the path of obedience but didn’t continue on it.
This phenomenon isn’t new. The author of Hebrews warned those to whom he wrote against matters like drifting, rebellion, and disobedience (Heb. 2:1; 3:16). He even at times presented these warnings in conditional terms: “We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end” (Heb. 3:14).
When it comes to the doctrine of the perseverance of the saints, we must recognize that these warnings in Hebrews are real warnings, directed toward Christians. There’s no sense in which they are to be ignored on the basis of self-proclaimed security. Instead, as Sinclair Ferguson notes, “the New Testament warns us by precept and example that some professing Christians may not persevere in their profession of Christ to the end of their lives.”1
We must be careful that we don’t grow careless or prideful when it comes to persevering in the faith. In fact, the doctrine should produce in us a careful urgency to heed the biblical warnings concerning apostasy. When we come to the Scriptures, we discover that the perseverance of God’s people in their salvation is a truth that is biblical, practical, and Christ-centered.
A Biblical Doctrine
What do we mean when we talk about the doctrine of perseverance? Louis Berkhof gives a helpful definition, describing it as “that continuous operation of the Holy Spirit in the believer, by which the work of divine grace that is begun in the heart, is continued and brought to completion.”2 Strictly speaking, perseverance has more to do with God’s work than with our own. It’s because God perseveres in His love for us that we’re able to continue in our love for Him. A more apt name for this doctrine, in fact, might be the preservation of the saints. God preserves, keeps, and guards His people.
With the definition in mind, we can locate the doctrine all throughout Scripture. Indeed, the Bible emphasizes the absolute certainty of the believer’s preservation. The opening verses of 1 Peter are among the clearest on the matter:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. (1 Peter 1:3–5)
Three truths concerning God’s preservation of the saints arise from this passage.
First, God “has caused us to be born again” (v. 3).
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Comprehending the Love of God
“Love cannot be satisfied. Once you know this Person and begin to love Him, you feel that all you have received is not enough, you want more and more. This is what Paul is praying for these Ephesians. He longs for them also to know Christ, because to know Him is to know His love. The more we know Him the more we shall know His love toward us. These things are indivisible, and cannot be separated” (p. 209).
There are some things that I write about that at times I feel I may not be qualified to do so. This is one of them. To be honest, I do not consider myself to be a really loving person, nor do I think I have much of a grasp at all on the amazing love of God. Nonetheless, let me dare to visit this important topic.
And I will do it in this fashion: When you have one of the great verses in one of the great biblical books, plus commentary on it by one of the great biblical preachers, you have a very powerful combination indeed. I refer to Ephesians 3:18-19, and some of the remarks made on it by Martyn Lloyd-Jones in his expository sermons.
As to the passage in question, the Apostle Paul prays for the believers in Ephesus that they may really know about the love of God. Given that this is found in the larger context of what starts a few verses earlier, let me offer that fuller text (verses 14-19) here:
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
What an incredible passage that is. And as mentioned, one exceedingly important Christian preacher who never fails to do full justice to the biblical text is Martyn Lloyd-Jones. He spends eight whole sermons on just these two verses, which in turn comprise eight whole chapters in his third of eight volumes on Ephesians. That third volume is The Unsearchable Riches of Christ, first published in 1979.
Let me quote some of what is found in Chapters 16-23. One paragraph makes for a useful introduction to this theme:
We are about to look into something which is so glorious and endless that it will be the theme of contemplation of all the saints, not only in this world, but also in the world which is to come. We shall spend our eternity in gazing upon it, and wondering at it, and in being astounded by it. But it is our business to start upon this here and now in this life. It has ever been one of the characteristics of the greatest saints that they have spent much time in meditating upon the love of Christ to themselves and to all God’s people. Nothing has given them greater joy. Indeed this is a characteristic of love at all levels; it delights in thinking not only of the object of its love, but also of the love it receives. Nothing therefore should give greater joy to all God’s people than to meditate upon this love of Christ. Indeed, our chief defect as Christians is that we fail to realize Christ’s love to us. How often have you thought about this? We spend time thinking about our activities and our problems, but the most important necessity in the Christian life is to know Christ’s love to us, and to meditate upon it. This has always been the spring and the source of the greatest activity that has ever been manifested in the long history of the Christian Church. (p. 219)
In his prior chapter he begins it with these words:
These two verses tell us what the Apostle’s real object was in praying for these Ephesian Christians. All the previous petitions prepare for and lead up to this petition. They were essential as preparation, but they are not ends in themselves; they are designed to lead on to this grand objective. We find ourselves, as it were, upon the pinnacle of Christian truth. There is nothing higher than this. God grant us His Spirit that we may consider it aright!
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Come to the Waters
Come to the Waters is not merely a hymn sung by the congregation–it is a theological confession, a musical sermon that every teaching elder, ruling elder, and congregant should relish. It captures the essence of the gospel message, the heart of Reformed theology, and the pastoral warmth of our Presbyterian heritage.
In recent years, James Montgomery Boice’s hymn Come to the Waters has resonated deeply with our family. Our youngest daughter often requests it during our evening worship sessions. So, when I was tasked with writing about a beloved hymn, this one immediately came to mind.
As the deer pants for streams of water, so our souls long for the living God. The Christian journey, akin to a pilgrimage through arid lands, often finds its most profound expressions and relief in the hymns we sing–those timeless pieces of spiritual resonance that echo the deep yearnings of our hearts. Come to the Waters expresses the evangelical truth of God’s gracious invitation to salvation, a cornerstone of Reformed theology. Penned with deep spiritual insight, this hymn resonates with the rich doctrines that have shaped our Reformed and Presbyterian heritage and encapsulates the essence of the divine summons to grace, which is as refreshing to our souls as water is to a parched throat.
Come to the Waters, an invitation echoing Isaiah 55:1, is a clarion call to all who thirst. This scriptural anchor takes us back to the Old Testament where the prophet Isaiah, inspired by the Holy Spirit, presents salvation as an open and free invitation from God. The hymn, steeped in this rich theological heritage, resounds with the truth of God’s sovereign grace.
The opening stanza, “Come to the waters, whoever is thirsty,” is reminiscent of Christ’s proclamation in John 4:14, promising a well of water springing up into everlasting life. In classic Reformed theology, we understand that this thirst is the deep longing of the human soul. It is a profound acknowledgment of our total dependence on God for spiritual sustenance, a concept firmly rooted in the doctrines of grace. We are reminded of our insufficiency and the sufficiency of Christ – Solus Christus, one of the five solas that were the rallying cry of the Reformation.
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