When visiting a far-off church, I met a man who, with sadness, told me about his father’s final sermon. A lifelong pastor and preacher, his father had withdrawn from full-time ministry several years prior, but still preached from time to time. On this Sunday he took to the pulpit, read his text, and gave his introduction. And then he gave his introduction again and seemed ready to give it a third time before the elders graciously intervened. With love, they led him back to the pews and later explained that his days as a preacher would have to come to a close. It was a sad end to a faithful ministry.
The whole world recently witnessed an example of a man who showed evidence of being well into the decline from which no man recovers. It became clear that he is not the man he once was or even the man he thinks he still is. As I watched that sad spectacle, I was reminded of several people I have known who, like that old pastor, headed into a time of decline in which their abilities and capacities began to diminish. I suspect you have seen this as well. Such decline is to be pitied, expected, and accepted, for it is a tragic result of the “dust to dust” nature of fallen humanity.
The day after watching that footage, I did what I usually do when I have a question to consider: I turned to my favorite old authors. I turned to their words of wisdom that I have so carefully collected and archived. I wanted to know what they have to say about aging—its blessings, challenges, and difficult realities. I dug through the many thousands of quotes I have saved and assembled their collective wisdom.
Beauty and Responsibility
One author offers encouragement by insisting that even while old age presents many difficulties, it can also be a time of special beauty and usefulness. “By and by, we all come to a door which opens into old age. Many are disposed to feel that this door can lead to nothing beautiful. We cannot go on with our former tireless energy, our crowded days, our great achievements.” However, being unable to maintain the old energy and abilities does not absolve the elderly of all responsibility. “There is altogether too much letting go,” he warns. “Too much dropping of tasks, too much falling out of the pilgrim march when old age comes on. We may not be able to run swiftly as before. We tire more easily. We forget some things. But old age may be made very beautiful and full of fruit.”
Another author warns of withdrawing from life too soon and becoming idle and inactive. Yet he also highlights the necessity of changing from one set of duties to another. “Like Moses, you may have your chief work to do after eighty. It may not be in the high places of the field; it may not be where a strong arm and an athletic foot and a clear vision are required, but there is something for you yet to do. Perhaps it may be to round off the work you have already done; to demonstrate the patience you have been recommending all your lifetime; perhaps to stand a lighthouse at the mouth of the bay to light others into harbor; perhaps to show how glorious a sunset may come after a stormy day. If aged men do not feel strong enough for anything else, let them sit around in our churches and pray, and perhaps in that way they may accomplish more good than they ever did in the meridian of their life.”
The elderly still have work to do and duties to fulfill, many of them related to character and service to others. “A man should not slacken his diligence, earnestness, faithfulness, prayerfulness, or his faith in Christ, until he has come to the very gate of eternity.” Yet they must be wise, because “when we cannot longer work, work is not our duty; God does not require it of us. It is some other one’s duty then, not ours.” In other words, there comes a time when a person must pass his duties to another. This may be difficult and humbling, but it is necessary.
A Common Fault of Old Age
One of the common faults of elderly people is that they can be “unwilling to confess that they are growing old, and to yield their places of responsibility and care to younger [people]. Too often they make the mistake of overstaying their own greatest usefulness in positions which they have filled with fidelity and success in the past—but which, with their own waning powers, they can no longer fill acceptably and well as heretofore.” In this way aging represents a severe test, and perhaps especially to people of great accomplishment and people who have lived in the public eye. “It is the part of true wisdom in a man, as he advances in years, to recognize the fact that he can no longer continue to carry all the burdens that he bore in the days of his strength, nor do all the work that he did when he was in his life’s prime.”
When we cannot longer work, work is not our duty; God does not require it of us. It is some other one’s duty then, not ours.J.R. MillerShare
Aging comes with many difficulties and among the most difficult of all is admitting that abilities have declined and positions must be ceded to others. “It is not easy to keep sweet and gentle-spirited when a man must stand aside and see others take up and do the things he used to do himself.” Yet by grace, he can—he can admit that aging is an inevitable part of life and that with aging comes decline in both body and mind. He can admit that the best way to serve others may be to step aside or step down.
Because the aging man is prone to overestimate his abilities and underestimate his decline, it is wise to enable loved ones to speak to him candidly so they can help him see what he may otherwise deny. It may be wise even to plan in advance to withdraw from public duties at a certain age or stage. It reflects godly character to plead with God that he will not remain at his old duty station when God has assigned that duty to another. It is wise and loving for loved ones to do their utmost to protect his dignity by letting him know when it is time to step aside. Mike Leake recently shared how the great John Newton—a man of tremendous faith, wisdom, and character—was unwilling to step down from his pulpit ministry and eventually had to be lovingly forced out by a group of men from his church. And this despite Newton earlier being struck by words from Cotton Mather who once wrote, “My usefulness was the last idol I was willing to give up.”
Perhaps we would all do well to learn from Thomas Chalmers who, as he pondered the future, longed to consecrate his final years to turning his focus from earthly labors to heavenly preparation. “It is a favorite speculation of mine,” he said, “that if spared to sixty we then enter on the seventh decade of human life, and that this, if possible, should be turned into the Sabbath of our earthly pilgrimage and spent sabbatically, as if on the shores of an eternal world, or in the outer courts, as it were, of the temple that is above, the tabernacle in heaven.”
God’s Grace in the Signs of Aging
For those who live long enough, cognitive decline is as inevitable as physical decline. It is every bit as tragic and every bit as pitiable. Yet by God’s grace, we need not fear spiritual decline, for God has promised to hold fast those who are his. And perhaps these people can see God’s grace even in the signs of aging. “If the voice quiver, it is because God is changing it into a tone fit for the celestial choral. If the back stoop, it is only because the body is just about to lie down in peaceful sleep. If the hand tremble, it is because God is unloosing it from worldly disappointments to clasp it on ringing harp and waving palm. If the hair has turned, it is only the gray light of heaven’s dawn streaming through the scant locks. If the brow, once adorned by a luxuriance of auburn or raven, is smitten with baldness, it is only because God is preparing a place to set the everlasting crown. The falling of this aged Christian’s staff will be the signal for the heavenly gate to swing open. The scattering of the almond blossoms will only [make more obvious] the [presence] of the fruit.”
(Drawn from De Witt Talmage; F.B. Meyer; J.R. Miller; John Newton; Thomas Chalmers.)

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Today’s Kindle deals include the first volume in several of the Green Ember series—books your kids will love. We’ve also got Josh Moody’s book on holiness, Stacy Reaoch’s book for women, and others along with them.

“If we aren’t careful, we can allow the small injustices to make us spiritually blind. It’s like staring at the sun. If we focus on the small injustices, that’s all we’ll be able to see, and then pretty soon, we won’t see anything at all. We’ll live in the darkness of woe-is-me, and we will be completely incapable of thinking of others, being grateful, seeing God’s goodness in all that comes our way.”

Is it necessary for a healthy Christian to join a church as a member? Here’s the case for answering in the affirmative.

Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra did some digging to help young people make friends at college (or anywhere else). Why? Because “as I’ve talked with youth leaders and campus pastors, some tell me that Gen Z struggles so much with social interactions that older generations almost need to reverse engineer their friendships, figure out what makes them work, and teach that to young people.”

On a somewhat related note, here are some questions that can be useful for deepening fellowship. (If you want to go deeper still, David Powlison’s “X-Ray Questions” are bound to help.)

“After four years of gender-bending madness in the White House, and in every other seat of government in the Western world, this was breathtaking. It’s not the end of course: a truly sane society would outlaw gender transition for adults, and embrace the obvious truth that ‘trans’ people are either mentally ill, sexually perverted, or both. But, considering the past several years, this is quite a start.”

This is a valid consideration: “As you watch theological interactions online, and even in some churches, have you ever wondered how many strong assertions come from prayerless theologians?”

God’s love for his people is so great that he will continue to tolerate all of this sin and rebellion, all of this hatred toward him, until the last of his chosen and beloved children has been born, has heard the gospel, and has been saved.

Grace must raise the temptation to think we can sin as we please; if it does not, we have not understood the true extent of grace.
—Derek Thomas

Many years ago, Aileen and I made the decision to enroll our children in the local public school. This was a decision we made as carefully and thoughtfully as we knew how to at the time (which was way back in the early 2000s). We decided we would take the approach of “a child at a time, a year at a time, a school at a time.” But even as we kept options open, we never felt the need to change course. Neither did our kids. A lot of time has gone by and two of our children have graduated those public schools while the third has completed as far as tenth grade.

After Nick wrapped up his high school education, I did a little interview with him. I wanted to hear about this experience, whether he felt public schooling had been good or bad, wise or foolish, and what he intended to do if the Lord granted him children. You can read that here. I recently asked Abby the same questions because I wanted to her take on it as well. In both cases I really encouraged them to be as honest as possible without any fear of offending their parents. Here are Abby’s unedited answers.
What do you think were the benefits of being in public school?
I think that one of the main benefits to public schooling is that I learned very early in my life about the brokenness of the world and about the people who are living apart from the Lord. I was still young enough that I saw what was going on around me and I could return home and talk to my parents and older brother about it who would explain the brokenness to me and point me back to Christ. As I explain a bit later on, seeing this brokenness is a large part of my testimony. 
Another benefit is that I learned how to be friends with non-believers very early on in my life. I started public school in junior kindergarten and continued all the way until I graduated high school. I was around unbelievers constantly, and most of my friends were not Christians. While this also proved to be a challenge, it allowed me to learn how to be a loving friend to them, and also provided me opportunities to share my beliefs (looking back I wish I had taken more of these opportunities). Now that I have graduated high school and moved out of the area, I still have some of those friendships and can still minister to my unbelieving friends as we continue to get older. 
Are there ways in which you think public school may have harmed you or otherwise been a negative force or influence?
I don’t think public school harmed me. However, I do think there were negatives to my experience. The negative influence of public school came more from the people I was around than public schooling itself. I knew what I believed and by God’s grace I was not swayed. However, being in the world and being around so many people who were living unrepentantly in sin weighed heavily on my heart. By the time I graduated highschool I was ready to be in a Christian environment, surrounded by believers. However, through this I learned how to pray for, serve and love those unbelievers in my life. 
Did you find it hard to be a Christian in public school?
Yes and no. For the most part I did not find it terribly difficult, especially when I was younger. Most of my peers did not care about my religion. I grew up in a very multicultural area so a lot of people identified themselves with one religion or another and I was just another one of the religious kids. However, I think it was more difficult as I got older. There was the pressure to be and live like everyone else. Being around unbelievers constantly and hearing about their sin weighed heavily on my heart. It was also hard when I was expected to complete assignments or read material that I did not agree with. I found that most of the difficulty came from teachers and the pressure to agree with what they were teaching even when I knew I did not. 
Did you feel pressure to conform to a non-Christian standard?
Yes. I think that the pressure I felt came the most often from the teachers I had throughout the years and less from my peers (although I did experience this as well). When I was younger (young elementary school age) this pressure was less intense. The older I got the more of this pressure I felt. Multiple times there were assignments I was expected to complete, books I was supposed to read or movies I was told to watch that were thoroughly against what I believed. Specifically in classes like Canadian Law and English class. I was expected to debate or write papers defending subjects that I disagreed with. I was expected to agree. This is where I found the most pressure to conform to a non-Christian standard. Not agreeing could have serious consequences and I felt the pressure to conform heavily. 
In terms of my peers, I found that they for the most part, did not care much about what I believed. I did have to choose my friends carefully however, and I lost a lot of them as we continued to get older and found we had less and less in common. While they did not understand, they did not pressure me to do things that went against what I believed. However, as I started to get older and my opinions and beliefs on major issues (abortion and discussions of sexuality) differed so fundamentally from many of my friends, these pressured increased. I found myself avoiding the subjects more often than not. Avoiding subjects like this is where I think I found myself succumbing to pressure the most amongst my peers. 
Do you feel like your faith would be stronger if you had been homeschooled or Christian schooled?
No. I think that the Lord used public schooling and the experiences I had during my time there to show me the brokenness of the world. A large part of my testimony includes seeing the way that the Christians in my life were living their lives dependent on the Lord, and in contrast, watching the non-Christians that I had grown up with fall deeper and deeper into sin while at the same time becoming more and more miserable. I think that seeing this contrast first hand every day strengthened my faith, and it made me realize that I wanted no part of the world that my friends were living in. I also had to learn how to trust the Lord with my friends. 
Are there ways in which you think homeschooling or Christian schooling would have been a more positive experience for you?
I do not feel like public schooling was an overall negative experience for me. However, had I been homeschooled or Christian schooled it could have potentially saved me from being influenced by some friends who I should not have been influenced by. It could have also allowed me to avoid some of the heaviness on my heart from being around and hearing about unrepentant sin so constantly. I do not think that the negatives I experienced in the public school system outweighed the positives I walked away with. 
As much as you can put yourself in our shoes, would you have made the same decision?
I think that I would have made the same decision as you. I do not feel as though public school was an overall negative experience for me. The world has changed since I first started my education. Through public school, I learned a lot and it is a huge part of my testimony. In his kindness the Lord used it to show me my own sinfulness and His grace. He also used it to show me the sinfulness of the world. As I said earlier I think the positives I walked away with far outweigh the negatives I experienced and I’m glad I went through the public school system. 
As much as you can project into an uncertain future, how do you think you’re likely to educate your own children? 
I think that in answering this question it is important to know just how much the world has changed since I started my public school education. Schools have become much more liberal and much less tolerant than they were when I was in them. If I could have my children repeat the experience I had in public school I believe I would send them into the public school system. However, with the way the world seems to be moving and what I know of that’s being taught in schools now, I would be more hesitant to send my children, especially little ones into them as I believe they would have a much different experience than my own. I think I would be more comfortable sending my older kids into public schools however. I believe I would lean more toward a Christian school education where I could be more confident in the teaching they were receiving and the peers they would have.
OK, back to Tim so I can wrap up as I did last time. I guess the big question at the end is this: If Aileen and I had to begin again, would we choose the public schools or would we instead go with one of the alternatives? To be honest, we just don’t know and we can’t put ourselves back in that situation. But we agree with what Abby said at the end—some key cultural factors have changed between then and now. Regardless, we gratefully acknowledge God’s hand of blessing on the decision we did make while also acknowledging that same hand of blessing would have been upon us whichever path we chose. We’re so deeply grateful to Him.