Why You Shouldn’t Give Up on the Church

The blue screen of death. We’ve all experienced it. You’re plugging away on a paper or trying to load a website and whammo, your computer is toast. A few minutes and a hard restart later, you’re back up and running, but not without consequences. You might have lost your train of thought or part of what you wrote. Ironically, I experienced the blue screen of death writing this post!
Covid-19 was a cultural blue screen of death. Work, school, and church rhythms were all disrupted, and as a result everything changed. People’s connection to church shifted or ended completely. Nearly every pastor I’ve spoken with affirms lower church attendance today than eighteen months ago.
The blue screen of Covid, it seems, made everyone re-think just how important church is.
A Replacement for Church?
More than a handful decided that other spiritual practices can take the place of church. Jen Hatmaker recently shared about a conversation she had with her therapist where she came to the realization that “church for me right now feels like my best friends, my porch bed, my children, and my parents and my siblings. It feels like meditations and all these leaves on my 12 pecan trees. It feels like Ben Rector on repeat. It feels like my kitchen, and my table, and my porch. It feels like Jesus who never asked me to meet him anywhere but in my heart.”
Others have decided to cut themselves off from church due to their frustration with what they perceive the church to be. This thread of tweets between Laura Chastain and Andrew Novell captures the spirit of those who feel disappointed by the church.
Whatever the stated reason, at its core this exodus from the church stems from a lack of understanding of the true heart, function, and mission of the church.
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John Owen’s 9 Instructions for Killing Sin
Sin is like an aggressive snake. If we don’t proactively attack sin, it will prove deadly. Thankfully, we aren’t alone in the fight. The power to kill sin comes from Christ through the Holy Spirit. As we focus on snuffing out sin, we must also draw near to the throne of grace. It’s there we’ll find grace to help in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).
The deadliest snake in the world is Australia’s inland taipan. The venom from one bite can kill 100 full-grown humans. Imagine you came home to find this venomous killer coiled up in your living room. What would you do? You wouldn’t encourage your kids to play with it. You wouldn’t keep it around as a pet. No, you’d grab a shovel and aim for its head!
We have something far more dangerous in our homes and hearts. Sin. Sadly, too many people play with sin instead of putting it to death.
John Owen famously warns Christians, “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.” His book The Mortification of Sin is an exposition of Romans 8:13: “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” Though Christians cannot eliminate sin in this life, Owen encourages us to diligently fight sinful desires and put them to death.
What is the shovel we use to attack our sin? Owen gives us nine practical directives:
1. Diagnose sin’s severity.
When a person has struggled with a sin for a long time, it’ll be more difficult to kill. This is especially the case if there have been long seasons when that person has indulged the sin rather than actively trying to kill it. Making excuses, justifying sinful behavior, or too quickly applying grace and mercy to a sin also contribute to the sin’s severity and lead to a hardened heart and conscience. Consider such factors when diagnosing a sin’s severity, because a more severe struggle calls for more focused effort in mortification.
2. Grasp sin’s serious consequences.
Even for the Christian, who has been declared righteous positionally, sin remains dangerous. Owen outlines four dangers sin poses for the believer: being hardened by sin’s deceitfulness, God’s temporal discipline, losing peace and strength, and, finally, the danger of eternal destruction—that by continuing in sin, one may prove he was never truly converted. A Christian’s sin grieves the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:25–30), wounds the Lord Jesus (Heb. 6:6), and can cause a Christian to lose his or her usefulness for ministry.
3. Be convinced of your guilt.
We understand guilt through the law and the gospel. “Bring the holy law of God into thy conscience,” Owen writes, “lay thy corruption to it, pray that thou mayst be affected with it.” Meditate on biblical commands that speak to sin’s sinfulness then also consider your sin in light of the cross. Ask yourself, “Why have I gone on sinning when I’ve been shown such grace and mercy? How can I show such contempt?”
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God’s Blueprint for a Godly Family
The family, as the smallest of the three institutions, is headed by the father, followed by the mother, who submits to her husband’s authority. Under them are the children, who submit to both parents. The family is not only the smallest unit but also the foundational one, created by God before both the church and government. These two realities have far-reaching implications for both the church and society. If families are unhealthy, the church and society will likewise be unhealthy. Conversely, healthy families will lead to healthier churches and stronger societies.
A blueprint is a guide for constructing something — it’s a design or pattern that can be followed. Want to build the best house? Draw up a blueprint and adhere to the design carefully.
In its literal sense, a blueprint is a detailed plan printed on blue paper, traditionally used for constructing buildings. However, the concept of a blueprint extends beyond architecture to encompass strategic planning in various areas of life. For example, a business plan can be seen as a blueprint for achieving profitability. Religions or philosophies offer blueprints for guiding one’s way of living. A blueprint, thus, serves as a guide to help you know what steps to take. In the same way, God has designed a blueprint for the family, the church, and the government.
There are three key observations I would like to make about God’s blueprint for the family:
1. Authority:One defining characteristic shared by all three institutions—the family, the church, and the government—is authority. Each has its own God-ordained structure of authority, with God being sovereign over all. For example, the king is the authority over the government, the elders hold authority within the church, and the father is the authority within the family. These structures are vital for maintaining order and fulfilling God’s purpose for each institution.
2. Love:In both the church and the family, God has designed these institutions to function in a posture of love—towards Him and towards one another. Authority without love distorts the very purpose of these institutions. A family or a church that operates under authority but lacks love will not flourish according to God’s design. Imagine a family where children are disciplined but not loved; such children would likely grow up emotionally scarred and psychologically damaged. Love, therefore, is a critical component of God’s blueprint for families, ensuring that discipline and guidance are rooted in care and compassion.
3. Training ground:The family, as the smallest of the three institutions, is headed by the father, followed by the mother, who submits to her husband’s authority. Under them are the children, who submit to both parents. The family is not only the smallest unit but also the foundational one, created by God before both the church and government. These two realities have far-reaching implications for both the church and society. If families are unhealthy, the church and society will likewise be unhealthy. Conversely, healthy families will lead to healthier churches and stronger societies.
Another way to say it is that families serve as the ‘nursery’ for both the church and society. Just as plants in a nursery are tended to carefully until they are ready to be transplanted into a more permanent setting, the family nurtures children in a context of loving authority. Here, children learn submission, love, and discipline before being ‘transplanted’ into church membership (if they are truly converted) and into society as law-abiding citizens. If they are not healthy within the family, they won’t thrive once they step into the church or broader society.
God’s Blueprint for the Husband-Wife Relationship
Husbands – For the Husband to love his wife like Christ loves the Church:
Eph. 5:25-33 gives God’s blueprint for husbands:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
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Speaking the Truth About Toxic Leadership
I don’t write this in anger or seeking my “pound of flesh” as I was accused of at a presbytery council meeting when seeking to expose this behavior at the presbytery level. We must all pursue the path of forgiveness just as we have been forgiven. So, I must pursue it as well. Yet we cannot let such behavior and character lead the way. What is my hope in writing all this down? I hope more will speak the truth in whatever difficult circumstances they face. I hope more will seek righteousness over institutional success. I hope we will stop platforming toxic leadership.
“… it was one of the most amazing experiences that I have had in church planting, and I think the one I’m most proud of….”[1]EPC Church Planting Coordinator, Tom Ricks, speaking at this year’s General Assembly (2024) about a multi-ethnic and urban church plant he helped coordinator.
I was watching the stream of the 2024 EPC General Assembly[2] to see how the denomination might handle a controversial matter before the body. Quite accidentally, I caught the panel discussion on Church Health and heard Tom Ricks say the words above. When Tom said he was “most proud” of this project, I felt an obligation to speak out about the toxic management of this project behind the scenes. Further, while I have spoken and written about my concerns over platforming leaders who have organizational success but who are a corrosive force to the long term health of those same institutions, I decided it was time to move beyond talking about it abstractly. It was time to be specific and explicit.
A couple of months ago, I wrote about my own journey through spiritual abuse and how I have recovered (mostly) from that experience. At the time, I did not include names (like Tom Ricks and Greentree Church) because that piece of writing wasn’t about finding justice but healing for me and to help others find it as well. I knew many would be able to identify the individuals and institutions in the piece, but I nonetheless chose not to be explicit. Again, I refrained from naming names because it wasn’t about putting right things that were wrong, but helping people hurt in church settings find a way back to love the Bride of Christ. For that moment, that seemed like the extent of my responsibility as it related to Greentree and Tom Ricks.
After watching the panel on Church Health, I realized that perhaps I owed the people of God more. I owed them transparency. I owed them the truth. U.S. Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis wrote in a 1913 Harper’s article “[S]unlight is said to be the best of disinfectants.” My hope is *not* that “people get what’s coming to them.” That would be folly indeed as we all deserve judgment. My hope is that by being explicit, people and institutions would do the hard work to become more healthy. My hope is that other institutions will stop platforming this kind of toxicity.
I worked with Tom at Greentree Community Church, first as Assistant Pastor for Care, then as Associate Pastor of Adult Ministries and at times I was unofficially given executive pastor responsibilities. It was in this expanded role that Tom spearheaded the effort to start an urban church plant in North St. Louis County. While it was not in my stated responsibilities, I was drawn into the organization of this project. I had a front seat in watching Tom Ricks promise things to a church planter he had no authority to promise, manipulate and intimidate his staff and session to support this project, and throw others “under the bus” to protect himself. Perhaps there is a bit of snark in this question but it is still an honest one: I wonder which of these behaviors made him so proud of this church planting project?[3]
When I first began working at Greentree, I felt I had found a good and stable place to work. The church was in process of building its first facility and we were on the cusp of some explosive growth. It was fun. Even still, I began to bump into Tom’s problem with truth telling from the start. I just didn’t recognize it as such. I dismissed it as miscommunication or misinterpretation or use of imprecise language. It wasn’t until the urban church plant planning started that I began to question things in earnest.
Tom had organized a group of local pastors that he dubbed the “St. Louis Urban Church Planting Network.” Greentree considered this a separate entity and as such did not fall under the governance of the session. Tom recruited a church planter (hereafter referred to as CP), an apprenticeship was established, and the “Network” hired the CP on a part-time basis (or so I thought). Tom asked Greentree to support the effort at $15,000 a year and the session agreed. Other churches agreed to support the church plant, some by paying the seminary tuition of the CP as he attended Covenant Seminary.
Church Planting Internship
It all seemed very tidy, until September of 2018. That’s when a pastor of one of the “Network” churches mentioned to me that the CP would be an intern at Greentree. I tried to clarify that he would *not* be an employee of Greentree but of the “Network.” The pastor gently pushed back and claimed Tom had told the “Network” that the CP would be employed at Greentree. I asked if he had a written record of this and he did in the form of an email. At this point in my working relationship with Tom, I had experienced enough of his “loose relationship with the truth”[4] to ask for documentation of important communication. The pastor sent me a copy. My very next supervisory meeting with Tom, I asked if the CP would be employed at Greentree.
“No, he will work for the network.”
I countered: “______ said you told him CP would work for Greentree.”
“He is mistaken.”
“I have an email from you saying as much. Would you like me to show you?”
“Uh… no… no… yes, CP is an employee of Greentree.”
It turns out, the “Network” was not a legal entity. It was simply a group of pastors agreeing to have their churches give money to Greentree to support a new church plant. It had no more institutional standing than a book club. I strongly encouraged Tom to inform session about CP being an employee of our church and he said he would. He failed to do so and in fact never voluntarily informed session that Greentree was functioning as the financial agent for the CP’s internship.
My sense of obligation to Tom was still quite strong at this point. I wanted to see him succeed. But there was a growing tension within me. I wanted to believe Tom was sincere in his relationship with me but my gut was telling me I was being played. A wooden interpretation of 1 Cor. 13: 7 (“[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres….”) led me to endure and hope my gut was wrong.
Read More[1] Church Health Panel Discussion | Wednesday, June 19, 2024, around the 10:50 mark, https://youtu.be/Q3_uBS7n374?si=GknBpTKP8noQTRJ3
[2] You can find the recordings of the 2024 EPC General Assembly here: https://epc.org/ga/ga2023recordings/
[3] I want to make this absolutely clear; I have always been supportive of this urban church plant and its church planter. In fact, I was often seeking to fix problems created by Tom Ricks overreaching or flat out lying to involved parties so the project would succeed.
[4] This is how one lay minister at Greentree described Tom very early in my tenure there. At the time, I dismissed as friendly ribbing about how Tom could be imprecise in his language.Related Posts: