Your Faithfulness Affects Us All: A Plea to Empty Nesters to Continue to Pursue Their Marriages
God created your marriage covenant all of those decades ago. He was with you when you said, “I do,” and he promises to carry you until death do you part. But he doesn’t just promise to help his people grin and bear it; he is also the God who can bring hope and joy. He loves to bring renewal. He resurrects marriages just as he resurrected Lazarus.
“Do you have a few minutes to talk during my break?” the twenty-something barista asked me as I took my cup of coffee from him in one hand, balancing commentaries and my laptop in the other hand. I could see strain on his face. I had first met him just a few months earlier. We worshiped at different churches in different communities, but he knew I was a pastor and I could see he needed to talk.
Thirty minutes later, he sat across from me in the coffee shop and poured out his broken heart to me: his dad had just announced his unfaithfulness and that he was pursuing a divorce. This hit my new friend hard. He had only been married a couple of years, and he had always looked up to his dad; his parents had led him to the Lord.
A couple of days later, I sat in a church member’s home during our small group. When it came time to share prayer requests, he asked for prayer for his parents. His mom had just announced she had a boyfriend and was pursuing a divorce. This set of parents was in their early sixties. He was shocked and saddened.
What this pair of circumstances days apart showed me yet again is that unfaithfulness—or faithfulness—in marriage affects those around us in profound ways. My friends, both married men who had been out of the home for years, were nonetheless deeply affected by their parents’ marital drift. The majority of my marriage counseling is with empty nester and retired couples, a common trend.
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Jesus Became a Baby Because He Loves You
The cross is the central work in John’s Gospel. There, the Son goes to the cross because “the Father loves me.” And there, glory and love meet. The man bruised and broken and bloodied is the glory of God on a cross stained red with love. All of this happened because “God so loved the world.” He loved us while we were yet sinners (Rom 5:8). Out of love, God sent his Son into the world to save it.
Why did the King of Glory become a baby? We can answer by saying “for his glory”! And we would be right to say so, but what does that even mean?
To start with, the word glory can sometimes describe doing good works. When a good deed is manifested in the world, we call it glorious. This is why all of God’s works are glorious, especially his creation of humans (Isa 42:7). The good works God does point back to the good Creator of all.
God also created humans for glory and honour. David says, God “crowned [humans] with glory and honor” (Ps 8:5). Paul even tells us to pursue glory and honour (Rom 2:7). While sin for a little while decrowned us of our glory, Jesus became human to bring “many sons to glory” (Heb 2:10, 14).
In summary, God created us for his glory, he crowned us with glory that we for a little while lost by sin, and Jesus restored that glory to us when he came into the world. Glory seems like a good answer for why Jesus was born, but I would say it is not a full answer.
A more complete answer includes the biblical truth that Jesus became a baby because he loves you. And this work of love is glorious.
Philanthropy
The Bible tells us “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). In the New Testament, to be sent means the same thing as “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14).
John tells us that God the Son (or Word) became flesh and dwelt among us, that is, God sent the Son into the world because he “so loved the world.”
God is Love (1 John 4:8, 16), and God loved us “while we were still sinners” (Rom 5:8).
The Church Father Athanasius (c. AD 298–373) used the word philanthropy to describe why Jesus was born.
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Is There a Regulative Principle for How We Should Dress?
The Regulative Principle of Worship has been a part of the worshiping community of the Lord from the beginning. It defines our worship and regulates it to the glory and pleasure of God. Traditionally, the principle identifies elements of worship that should be included in the Church’s offerings whether of the Old Covenant or the New. It guides us so that we might offer the Lord His due…It covers the elements of the ministry of the Word of the Lord, prayer, offerings, music, etc. but might it also address our dress?
It was a few minutes before the start of our worship service and I was trying to personally greet as many people as I could. A young man came in and took a seat. He was a first-time visitor and I especially wanted to speak to him. I found that he had recently moved to our city to take a position as a musician with our local symphony orchestra. What I remember most about him was the way he was dressed. I don’t usually notice such things but his clothing was striking. He was wearing pretty ratty denim shorts, a wrinkled t-shirt and flip flops. I’m sure he was comfortable but I found myself being otherwise. As the morning went along, I realized I was thinking about his clothing a lot and I was becoming more and more…perturbed. I knew he didn’t, he couldn’t, dress that way for an orchestral performance that likely required him to wear a black-tie tuxedo. Why, I thought, would he, then, dress so casually for church? It was as though he intentionally, with forethought, dressed as slovenly as he could for worship. He couldn’t have appeared more discourteous for coming into the presence of the Lord. Why? And why did it bother me so?
The Regulative Principle of Worship has been a part of the worshiping community of the Lord from the beginning. It defines our worship and regulates it to the glory and pleasure of God. Traditionally, the principle identifies elements of worship that should be included in the Church’s offerings whether of the Old Covenant or the New. It guides us so that we might offer the Lord His due. How else could we know how to worship except for God’s own direction and instruction. But how far does such direction go? It covers the elements of the ministry of the Word of the Lord, prayer, offerings, music, etc. but might it also address our dress?
God in His Scriptures tells us what the teaching and preaching of His Word should look like (Matt. 4:17; Acts 15:35; 2 Tim. 2:1-2; 4:1-4). He teaches us how to pray to Him (Matt. 6:5-13; 1 Thess. 5:17-18), directs us how to give to Him (Matt. 6:2-4; 2 Cor. 8:1-5; 9:7), shows, even models for us how to sing His praises (Zeph. 3:17 NIV). He regulates these but does He also regulate how we should be clothed before Him in worship? Spiritually speaking, absolutely!
We can only appear in the presence of God clothed in the righteousness of Christ. This is a cardinal truth of the gospel. Our natural, spiritual condition is one of depravity, guilt and unrighteousness. The Lord, however, dwells in holiness and possesses only purity and righteousness. Never the twain shall meet! But once we are in Christ by repentance and faith through the gospel of Jesus, we’re covered in His righteousness imputed and gifted to us in grace. Notice the language the Bible uses for this. “I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels” (Isa. 61:10). “For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ” (Gal. 3:27). “…and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth” (Eph. 4:24). Clearly, we cannot enter into the presence of Him whose “eyes are too pure to approve evil [nor] look on wickedness with favor” (Hab. 1:13) without having our sin covered by the righteousness of Christ.
We must be clothed in Him under His gospel. That’s the covering of the soul but what about the covering of the body? Does worship before the Lord affect this covering? Does the Scripture in any way regulate this?
This isn’t even a question often asked within broad evangelicalism but should it be? Isn’t it a bit trivial? Where would we go to even begin to find an answer? Perhaps the worship found in Genesis 4 can give us a starting point.
Brothers Cain and Abel were involved in the first recorded act of worship in the Scripture presumably having been taught this by their father. In verses four and five we’re told that the Lord found Abel’s worship acceptable but not Cain’s. The difference in God’s response surely has to do with the distinction made concerning their respective sacrifices which was indicative of the spiritual condition of their hearts. Cain is said to have brought an offering of the fruit of the ground with no further characterization made about it (v. 3). On the other hand, Abel sacrificed to the Lord from his flock what was designated to be “of the firstlings…and of their fat portions” (v. 4). The “firstlings” is simply the first from the flock; off the top as we could say. The “fat portions” of the sacrifice under the Old Covenant were considered to be the best part of the animal that could be offered as an honor to the Lord (See Gen. 45:18; Lev. 3:14-16; Ezek. 34:3). Abel offered God the first and the best he had. Shouldn’t this truth guide our worship of the Lord even today? How would it work?
On a personal level, I have followed the monthly practice of making the first check I write be our tithe to the church. My wife and I want to give the Lord from the first of His blessings to us right off the top. Is this required? No, but we desire to do it this way from hearts that are thankful to Him. In our congregation some years ago, we changed the Sunday morning schedule from Sunday School first to corporate worship being first. We found that people were a bit tired in worship after spending time in a study class and we wanted to offer the Lord in worship the first and the best of our time. Don’t we all do this naturally in our churches? In worship we use the best musicians from our congregations, we’re led by the elders who can best guide us to honor Christ, we have the best preaching available. But what about how we dress? Shouldn’t we come before the Lord in the best clothing we have?
For me that means a suit and tie; I don’t own anything better so that’s what I wear. Doesn’t dressing in the best we have as we come into the Lord’s presence honor Him and show our respect by following Abel’s example of giving Him our first and best? Then what about my young musician friend? If his clothing that morning in church was the best he had to wear, I would have no problem with it. None. In fact, I would thank God that he had come to worship with the saints spiritually clothed in the righteousness of Christ and physically clothed in his best.
So, does the Bible require us to dress up when we go to church? Not necessarily. But why wouldn’t we?
Dr. Randy L. Steele is a Minister in the Bible Presbyterian Church and serves as Pastor of Providence BPC in Albuquerque, NM.
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The Devastating Cost of Rejecting God
Every culture that has rejected God has turned violent and tyrannical, so one would think we would learn as well. Tragically, most will not. The Scriptures note that, “The wicked shall be turned into Hell, and all the nations that forget God,” (Pslam 9:17). It does appear that as America forgets God, it becomes more and more like Hell, doesn’t it? But it need not end with that! God’s grace and mercy are great and available to all who will come.
The problem of disbelieving in God is not that a man ends up believing nothing.Alas, it is much worse. He ends up believing anything. ~G.K Chesterton
I heard of a gentleman traveling to a third-world country where driving regulations were minimal and police virtually nonexistent. He noted that in terms of road etiquette it was a matter of “he who drives the biggest truck rules.” So it is where God has been rejected. Lawlessness ensues and the strong oppress the weak. It is no coincidence that in all countries of the 20th Century dominated by strident atheists, the citizens were brutally oppressed. However, removing accountability to God leads not only to lawlessness and tyranny, it also produces moral and spiritual blindness, foolish behavior, and hardened hearts.
For the first time in America’s history less than half of its citizens claim to be Christians, according to recent polls. There have always been scorners in America, but until recently they were largely on the fringe of society. Over the past several decades, however, they have gained a foothold both culturally and politically and have launched an assault against God and Christianity that those who are only superficially Christian are unwilling to bear. When Christ explained to His followers, in John chapter six, that there would be a cost in seeking righteousness, many deserted Him then as well. There is often a cost in following Christ, but there is a greater cost in deserting Him. America, founded upon biblical truth and principles, cannot survive without them.
Atheism, contrary to all claims to the opposite, has neither an inherent morality nor a compulsion to create it. While atheists may develop an ethic, they must borrow it from elsewhere. Their own morality “document” is a blank page. Nations which have discarded God and religion to become atheistic or secular have only three possible sources for a common morality: cultural traditions derived from their religious heritage, a dominant government, or the will of the majority, should they manage to secure some form of democracy.
In any case, there is no reason to assume that the moral standards of that nation will be or will remain ethical. Atheism’s natural antipathy toward God and religion often leads its proponents to reject much of what is derived from them, creating cultures that do not value traditions or principles associated with religion. Therefore, it is not surprising that most nations dominated by atheists have eventually become hostile to human rights. The notion of humans having objective value and thus unalienable rights is sourced exclusively in Christianity. In the rare cases where kings or emperors were toppled and there was no alternative controlling authority, such as religion, anarchy flourished, as in the case of the French Revolution.
The strange notion, propounded by modern atheists, that the burden of proof for the existence of God lies with us, rather with them to prove His non-existence, reminds me of a person viewing a house and nonsensically declaring that it is easier to believe that the house just happened than that it was built by a contractor. Romans chapter one states that from creation we understand God’s “eternal power and godhead.” The existence of a universe is as certain a proof of God’s existence as a house proves the existence of a builder! Denying God’s existence is not intellectually based. It is spiritual rebellion.
Romans one declares that there comes a time when God runs out of patience with recalcitrant people and turns them over to their own desires, therewith to be enslaved. They become bound by sin, reckless of its cost, and unable to understand the causes for their suffering. They grow tolerant of any and all deviant and debauched behavior, living without moral restraint; and the only evil in their eyes is that of someone saying “no” to their evil. An example of this is the interaction of a police officer with a lawbreaker. The yelling that often ensues is not from the officer! Nowadays it is the officer who is considered the offender!
Once people reject God they have no objective standard of right and wrong.
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