Help! I’m Addicted to Pornography
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Christ has paid for your sin, and you are reconciled to God. You can now go on the offensive because sin no longer has the final word over you. While no set of behaviors will let you overcome this particular sin, there are helpful tools for resisting and overcoming, by God’s grace.
Friends, porn is crushing us. Sexualization is everywhere. Rather than exalting sex, our culture is reducing sex by reducing everything to sex. Since God created the human body for sex, it is easy for us to succumb to this pull to sexualize everything. And when sex becomes ultimate, it means that sexual acts must be constant if we’re going to enjoy this life. Outside of sex with another person, that leaves us with the convenient habit of pornography.
If you are addicted to pornography, please hear this: You are not a pervert. You are not gross. You are struggling with sin like everyone else. You need hope. You need Christ. Do you think he didn’t know about this hidden struggle when he endured the cross? I challenge you to examine the Gospels and find one instance where Jesus shirked back because someone was “disgusting.” If you believe Jesus is your savior from sin, then “your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:3).
Let’s start from this place of peace. Christ has paid for your sin, and you are reconciled to God. You can now go on the offensive because sin no longer has the final word over you. While no set of behaviors will let you overcome this particular sin, there are helpful tools for resisting and overcoming, by God’s grace. To help us along, let’s think of sin as a crime to be investigated—with motive, means, and opportunity. Let’s look at each in turn.
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David Livingstone, Slavery Abolitionist
Beginning on the very day of Livingstone’s death, the British naval patrol was instructed to prevent the export of slaves from the eastern coastal ports. Just five weeks after his death the great slave market at Zanzibar was permanently closed. Less than two years later “all conveyance of slaves by land under any conditions” was also outlawed, dealing a final death blow to the East Africa slave trade.
David Livingstone is best known as a renowned nineteenth century missionary and explorer in Africa. Another vital aspect of his ministry career was the crucial role he played in exposing and helping bring about the abolition of the slave trade in southcentral and southeastern Africa in the latter half of the 1800s. To follow is a summation of his important part in that epic accomplishment.
Throughout his first eleven years of missionary service in Africa (1841-1852) Livingstone heard of and witnessed instances of Boers oppressing and even enslaving Africans beyond the borders of Cape Colony in southern Africa. The Boers were Dutch farm families who had emigrated by the thousands in the 1830s and 1840s, resettling north of Cape Colony in order to avoid being under British rule there. Eventually a Boer militia attacked a group of tribes to whom Livingstone had been ministering and ransacked his residence at Kolobeng, destroying his personal property valued at more than 300 British pounds (then equaling over 1,500 American dollars, likely worth at least thirty or forty times that amount today).
In 1851 Livingstone came in contact with and began ministering to the Makololo, a powerful marauding tribe that had settled in the area between the Chobe River and the upper reaches of the Zambesi River. The Makololo had subjected a number of other tribes living in that same region, which was several hundred miles further north than Livingstone had previously ministered. Those tribal groups, including the Makololo, had a long history of attacking neighboring tribes and carrying off livestock and people as slaves. In addition, Portuguese traders from Angola to the west, assisted by African Mambari tribesmen, entered that region and carried away scores or hundreds of slaves each year.
Livingstone spent two and a half years seeking to determine if a river transportation route could be established from either the west or east coast of Africa, to effectively and affordably transport missionaries and supplies to the inner area of the continent. In doing so he became the first European ever to make a transcontinental journey across Africa. As he approached and stayed for a time at both coasts, Portuguese officials were uniformly supportive of and helpful to him. But he noted that a number of those officials were themselves involved in slave trading to help supplement their income.
While back in Britain during 1857-1858, Livingstone wrote his first book, Missionary Travels and Researches in South Africa. In it he exposed and condemned the different types of slavery he had seen practiced by the Boers, various tribes and the Portugues. In his many well-attended speeches given throughout Britain he put forth a plan to bring Christianity and legitimate commerce to inner Africa, which would in time destroy the slave trade there. He accepted the British Government’s invitation to head the Zambesi Expedition in exploring the Zambesi and its tributaries. The expedition’s further objectives, which were clearly and repeatedly stated in official documents, correspondence and public speeches, were to promote commerce and Christianity to the tribes of that region, with the intention that doing so would help Africans in various ways—economically, spiritually and by putting a stop to the slave trade.
The Zambesi Expedition explored: the lower portion of the Zambesi; the Shire River region and Lake Nyassa (modern Lake Malawi) north and northeast of that part of the Zambesi; the Rovuma River east of Lake Nyassa. Portuguese slave traders, operating with the knowledge and approval of their regional Governors, were found to be active in the Zambesi and Shire regions while Arab slavers prosecuted their trade at Nyassa. Not a few tribes in those areas eagerly participated in the slave trade, selling into slavery people they had captured from other villages or sometimes even the undesirables of their own clans.
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Creation: God’s Image and Human Identity
Only God can tell you who you really are. It is difficult to ascertain what it means to be human. But our identity and function are tied to our being created in God’s image, as male and female. God made us finite, bound by space and time to live in community and care for creation. To lose this essential truth is to lose ourselves.
What does it mean to be human? The answers to this question are many and varied. To the robot on your computer, identifying and clicking pictures of traffic lights proves that you’re human. For others, to be human is to be wise—we are homo sapiens. What it means to be human is an age-old and puzzling question. Yet traditional African cultures affirm the Genesis story that God created mankind from the ground as male and female.
This widespread belief tells us at least five things about what it means to be human. First, we are creatures made in God’s image. Second, we’re finite, having limits and bounds. Third, to be human means to be male or female. Fourth, God created humans for community. Finally, we both depend on and have a duty towards the rest of creation. This article will briefly expound on why these five points are essential for our identity as human beings.
God Created Humans in His Image
First, to be human is to be created by God (Genesis 1:26-27). We are not accidents, but creatures made and known by supreme wisdom. We all are products of divine intentionality and owe our existence and identity to God. To be truly human is to live as God’s creatures—made by him and for his purposes.
Not only are we made, but unlike other creatures, we are created in God’s image and likeness. In ancient cultures, images of wood and stone were believed to mediate the presence of the gods. Likewise, people in places like Mesopotamia and Egypt saw kings and priests as the likeness of the gods. But the Bible teaches that all human beings are made in the image of God, a concept that connotes relational (and representational) existence.
To be human is to have the potential to consciously relate with God as his children (Genesis 5:3), thereby being like Jesus, God’s image as Son (2 Corinthians 4:4; Colossians 1:15; Hebrews 1:2-3). And only as image bearers can we have universal ‘human’ rights.
God Made Us Male and Female
Not only are we created in God’s image, but also, we are made male and female. As the Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament insists, “Only in the polarity of man and woman are human beings made in the image of God.” That is, the complementary male-female qualities properly reflect the image and likeliness of God, and as such, male-female sexuality is fundamental to personhood.
To be human is to be male or female with nothing in between.
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Precision Pastoring: Nourishing the Caregiver’s Soul
With their deep understanding of the brutal realities of my life and the potential dangers that lurk, my pastors do not “motivate” me; they shepherd me. Modeling “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Deuteronomy 8:3, Matthew 4:4). They preach the whole counsel of God provided in the Scriptures.
“Are we serving you well?”
The unexpected question from two pastors caught me off guard, prompting a moment of reflection. As pastors of a large Nashville church, their humility in asking about their ministry’s impact on my life deeply touched me. Despite being one of several thousand members, their concern for my well-being amidst the challenges I faced as the sole caregiver for my wife with severe disabilities was both surprising and humbling.
The context, however, contained the impetus. As the sole caregiver for my wife with severe disabilities and a medical history that now spans forty years and 85+ operations, they recognized the strain on my life. They also knew that our circumstances would not get easier with age and that my wife’s broken body and amputated limbs would not be reversed this side of Heaven.
Reflecting on what they inquired, I answered them in a way that seemed to surprise them.
“I am in the congregation and listen to every one of your sermons—and you know my challenges. If your preaching and teaching don’t effectively help me better understand the Gospel and how it applies to my life as a caregiver, then what’s the point of the message?
As they listened intently, I explained, “My journey as a caregiver is all-encompassing and spans a lifetime. I know how to “care-give,” but do I know how to live? Do I understand the principles and precepts of scripture as they apply to me as someone who watches someone suffer daily? What do I do with fear, guilt, despair, and a host of other issues that caregivers feel?
While the men nodded with understanding, I concluded, “Your clear, concise, and precise teaching of the scriptures is what equips me to endure—this is how you are caring for me.”
Those pastors, whom I count as dear friends, still invest in my life even though I moved across the country several years back. With great clarity and sincerity, they spoke to the heart issue I bear—and that all caregivers carry: We struggle with a good and loving God who allows the suffering and misery we often see daily.
That conversation with those pastors remains a seminal moment in my understanding of effective pastoral care for hurting congregants. Despite a question that might have opened the door to criticism, their simple inquiry led to “precision pastoring.”
I’ve heard too many pulpits preach a message of “You’re going to get your breakthrough” or “Your challenges are a set-up to a step-up” style sermons. Bluntly speaking, those kinds of topical, motivational messages with a “Jesus” flair mean nothing to me—nor to the thousands of caregivers I’ve talked to over the years.
Jesus told Peter to “feed my sheep,” not entertain or inspire them.
Our friends who live near our home in Montana run a ranch filled with cattle, sheep, and goats. During the lambing season, I love to stop and watch the baby goats and lambs playfully hop, prance, and dance around while their cautious mothers watch them, ensuring they stay in line and safe from harm. During this vulnerable time, they remained protected from predators within an oversized pen. At the pen’s center lies a large circular feeder, where the ewes gather around to fuel themselves with ample hay deposits to meet their young’s demanding needs.
The new mothers require lots of sustenance to meet the extreme needs of nursing and protecting their babies. When the weather is cold, and the sheep are at their most vulnerable while giving birth, the watchful ranchers feed and protect them. In warmer weather, they move to pastures where they can live a little more independently.
Numerous accounts share how our savior referred to himself as the shepherd and us as the sheep. I can’t imagine the apostle Peter not understanding the context of raising sheep while listening to Jesus’ command.
Our rancher friends provide an up-close view of “precision shepherding.” Their ranch’s survival depends upon properly feeding the sheep quality food—particularly during harsh climates. If the power goes out, the water troughs can freeze—and during Montana’s often brutal winter climate, the ice requires breaking, a backup generator, or all sorts of other emergency tasks to ensure the livestock’s survival. During those vulnerable times, the ranchers don’t motivate the sheep; they intensely care for them. They only “motivate” them during the warm, relaxed time when they move them from pasture to pasture.
With their deep understanding of the brutal realities of my life and the potential dangers that lurk, my pastors do not “motivate” me; they shepherd me. Modeling “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Deuteronomy 8:3 & Matthew 4:4). They preach the whole counsel of God provided in the Scriptures.
They help me better understand (and anchor my life) in God’s sovereignty, provision, and faithfulness, strengthening my faith to trust Him with the daily grind of my life. They actively engaged, protected, fed, and nourished me with a profound understanding of the Gospel, providing the sustenance that has carried me through the most challenging times.
They still do.
Peter Rosenberger hosts the nationally syndicated radio program, Hope for the Caregiver. His newest book is A Minute for Caregivers—When Every Day Feels Like Monday. www.HopeforTheCaregiver.com
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