I am often asked how I read so many books. My pat answer is something like this: “The more you read, the easier it gets. When you’ve read 8 books on marriage, the 9th goes really quickly.” The point is that there is a kind of sameness to Christian publishing where books tend to focus on the same themes, exposit the same passages, quote the same authors, and in the end say roughly the same things. It’s awfully refreshing, then, when you encounter a book that is different and distinct. And that’s exactly the case with Chad and Emily Van Dixhoorn’s Gospel-Shaped Marriage: Grace for Sinners to Love Like Saints.

“This is a book for couples, but not just couples,” they say. “The institution of marriage is an integral part of the life of the Christian church. Time spent thinking about marriage will help some of us be more thoughtful about married life and all of us be more prayerful. For that reason, we appeal directly to married people throughout, but we also have in mind those who are only thinking about marriage or who want to support married people. There are no R-rated scenes. There are only helps for the married, prompts for those who want to pray, and encouragements for those who wish to defend and promote the institution of marriage, this gift from God that every church member ought to treasure, whether married or not.”
There are a few features of the book that the authors point out as distinguishing it from many others: its brevity (it’s just 160 pages), its focus on Christian spouses as being both sinners and saints (and therefore capable of great sin but also true holiness), and the way that, instead of drawing from contemporary books on marriage, it looks instead to the distant past (and especially to William Gouge’s classic Domestical Duties).
Gospel-Shaped Marriage begins with a brief explanation of what the Bible says about marriage—the basics that we can no longer take for granted in this age of confusion and deliberate deconstruction. They then set marriage in its redemptive-historical context, using Augustine of Hippo’s framework to show how marriage is different in its garden variety, in its fallen state, in its redeemed state, and in its future state. “The marriage of eternity is better than the marriage of time. In heaven, the all-fulfilling relationship will not be between man and woman, but between God in Christ and the church as his bride. It was not good for Adam to be without Eve in the garden, but it will be fine for him to be without her in the new heavens and the new earth. Marriage is eternal in its significance, not because it lasts for eternity, but because it can be used to equip us for eternity.”
The third chapter is an important one as it deals with grace in marriage and the tricky matter of mutual submission. They draw some fascinating insights from Gouge that “Ephesians 5 is not an improvement guide for spouses … On the contrary, we are told one another’s duties for the purpose of making their work a joy to them—just as Scripture puts it, in another context, for ministers and church members (Heb. 13:17).” There are very practical consequences to this: “Are husbands to love their wives (to pick one example of a duty)? Then wives are to make themselves as lovable as possible, for this is the principal way of helping a husband with his own duty to love her. Is a wife supposed to respect her husband? Then he needs to do his best to be worthy of respect in order to help her respect him.”
The subsequent chapters turn to the particular place of women in marriage, then to the particular place of men, focusing still on the New Testament’s key verses on marriage from Ephesians 5. A chapter titled “Winning in Marriage” looks at troubled marriages, “Family and Marriage” discusses leaving parents and adding children, while “Bedtime in Marriage” turns to intimacy and sexuality—topics that are covered with appropriate levels of detail and discretion. It wraps up with “Growing in Marriage,” which is about mutually growing in grace.
Gospel-Shaped Marriage is as good a book on marriage as any I’ve read and one I plan to recommend often and read alongside others. Though it could be a good option for pre-marriage reading, it would definitely be a perfect option for a mid-marriage refresher. If I was asked to offer an improvement, I might suggest that, while the word should is used frequently, it is not always clear how that word of moral obligation is linked to biblical commands. Yes, we can have confidence that “the first thing we should look for in a marriage is someone of the opposite sex,” but I’d say it is more difficult to demand that “Christian couples should ask how they can pray for each other in the morning.” While one of these is a biblical mandate, the other is merely a wise suggestion, and I always consider it helpful to distinguish between the two.
Over the past few years we have seen a sudden outburst of gospel-driven, gospel-focused, gospel-shaped, and other gospel-hyphenated books. Gospel-Shaped Marriage is among the best of them and, I suspect, among the few that will have some longevity—and that’s because marriage truly is shaped by the gospel since it exists to display the gospel. It combines sound biblical teaching with helpful real-life application and does so in a way that can help change, improve, and perhaps even transform any marriage.

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Good morning. Grace and peace to you today.

9 Things You Should Know About Events and Discoveries in 2021
This is a fun little roundup. “We live in an era of 24-hour news in which we’re constantly bombarded by information from websites, social media, and television. Yet despite this deluge, there are many fascinating news items you are likely to have missed. Here are nine such events and discoveries from 2021 that you may not have heard about.”
What People are Saying about 2022
“Have you noticed what people are saying about 2022? Me neither.” Is that better or worse than what people were saying this time last year?
What Was Paul’s Thorn in the Flesh?
Here’s an explanation of that mysterious thorn in the flesh that was so agonizing to Paul.
Are You Feeling In-Between? 
“The last week of December always feels a little like an in-between to me. It’s between holidays, months and years. Akin to adolescent years, somewhere between child and teenager, life has a lot of uncomfortable in-betweens…”
More Now Than Ever
This is the final part of a series meant to encourage Christians by reflecting on positive cultural trends.
Flashback: Strength = Good, Weakness = Bad
Jesus was weak. Paul rejoiced in his own weakness. And yet we are still afraid and ashamed to be weak. We would rather feign strength than admit weakness.

The eye is made both for seeing and weeping. Sin must first be seen, before it can be wept for. —Thomas Watson

This week’s Free Stuff Fridays is sponsored by Zondervan Academic, who also sponsored the blog this week. They are giving away FIVE sets of Wayne Grudem’s Christian Beliefs, Revised Edition, and Christian Beliefs Study Guide.

Here is more about the books:
Christian Beliefs, Revised Edition
Not every Christian needs to go to seminary, but there are certain teachings of the Bible that every Christian should know. Whether you’re a relatively new believer in Jesus or a mature Christian looking for a better understanding of the basics of the faith, Christian Beliefs are for you.
This readable guide to twenty basic Christian beliefs condenses Wayne Grudem’s award-winning book Systematic Theology, prized by pastors and teachers everywhere. He and his son, pastor Elliot Grudem, have boiled down the essentials of theology for everyday Christians and made them both clear and applicable to life. Each brief chapter concludes with questions for personal review or group discussion.
In this revised and updated edition of Christian Beliefs, you will learn about:

The Bible and its authority for our lives
The characteristics of God
The importance of prayer
Angels and the reality of spiritual warfare
What it means that we are created in the image of God
What God has done for us in Christ
The purpose of the church
What will happen when Christ returns
The biblical understanding of heaven
And much more

Christian Beliefs is the ideal book for every Christian who wants a solid foundation for understanding the most basic and essential teachings of the Bible.
 Christian Beliefs Study Guide
Whether you’re a relatively new believer in Jesus or a mature Christian looking for a better understanding of basics of the faith, the Christian Beliefs Study Guide can help you reflect on and deeply internalize the core teachings of Christianity
Chapter by chapter, this STUDY GUIDE will lead you to examine and reflect on Christian Beliefs, revised edition, by providing:

Summary: A short summary of the chapter to help remind readers what they read.
Key terms: Definitions of important terminology introduced in the chapter.
Key quotes: Selection of one or two key quotes from the chapter.
Central Scripture Passage: An important biblical passage related to the chapter for reflection or memorization.
Content Questions: Questions that reflect on the theological content of the chapter.
Practical Application Questions: Questions that help tie the theological content of the chapter to real-life situations.
For Further Reading: Lists where to find more information on theological topics in Systematic Theology, second edition, by Wayne Grudem so readers know where to go for a deeper dive into specific subjects they want to know more about.

Go here to find out more about Christian Beliefs.

Enter Here
Again, there are five packages to win. And all you need to do to enter the draw is to drop your name and email address in the form below.
Giveaway Rules: You may enter one time. As soon as the winners have been chosen, all names and addresses will be immediately and permanently erased. Winners will be notified by email. The giveaway closes Saturday at noon. If you are viewing this through email, click to visit my site and enter there.