An Open Letter to the Church Member Hurt by Their Local Church
Written by Daniel P. Miller |
Thursday, April 4, 2024
Set your eyes on eternity. This is not a means of ignoring reality, but the only way of truly facing it. There is a day when all the pain you suffer from the presence of sin and Satan will vanish. Focus more on your future accounting before Christ than on those who fail you on earth. Above all, trust in the Lord who promises never to leave or forsake his children (Heb. 13:5). Local churches hurt people. Thankfully, the Lord of the church will one day wipe away every tear, including yours.
Dear Brother or Sister,
Local churches hurt people. People hurt people, of course, but since churches are people, churches have the capacity to inflict severe relational pain.
By God’s grace the reverse is also true. The local church is designed by Christ to function as a spring of encouragement and joy to its members. I hope that you have experienced the blessing of walking in fellowship with a body of believers that Jesus used, or is now using, to strengthen your faith and envelop you in covenantal love.
But despite Christ’s gracious provision, you may find yourself experiencing heartache in the context of a church for which Jesus died. Ironic, isn’t it? By grace alone the risen Christ is gathering out of the nations a people for his name (Acts 2:38–39). He forms us into a new humanity, uniting us to himself (Eph. 2:11–22; Gal. 2:20). We are adopted as his children and chosen as his holy bride (Rom. 8:14–17; Eph. 5:23–32; Rev. 19:6–8). He sovereignly places us in the body to complete one another (1 Cor. 12:12–27). How ironic, then, that relating to God’s people can result in such deep heartache.
Ironic, but not mysterious. The closer the human relationship, the more pain one suffers when that relationship falters. We routinely witness this in families. It’s why divorce, child rebellion, family feuds, neglect, and the like are such bitter heartaches. The closer the relationship, the greater the potential not only for joy but also for sorrow.
In the spiritual family of a local church, such heartache often stems from personal offense—one member wrongs another. At other times the problem is more corporate in nature—the departure of a leader, a change in policy, an altered ministry direction that seems to betray much of what you once loved about your church, and the like.
It’s not hard to identify the source of the pain we suffer in the context of a body of believers. It’s considerably harder to respond to that pain in God-honoring ways.
Don’t breeze past that “God-honoring” bit. Expressive Individualism programs us to feel our pain while avoiding hard questions about our responses to it. Hurt feelings are as natural as shivering from cold on a wintry day, we are assured by our therapeutic world. Therefore, how I feel about someone’s ill treatment of me or how I feel about a hurtful ministry change becomes not only my responsibility to own but everyone else’s obligation to affirm.
The Bible does not counsel us in this direction. Rather, it calls us to respond to such pain with a devotion to love others and glorify Christ in his church. This means that despite how terribly I may feel, Christ’s renown remains of supreme importance. Therefore my affections for his honor in the assembly must never fall below affections for my own. If they do I am likely to cause as much damage in the future as I’ve suffered in the past.
Our Redeemer is never surprised by sin, nor has he ever promised us a church that’s free of it. Every church family hurts people one way or another. What the Lord has done is to arm us with wise, Christ-honoring habits of response. While not an exhaustive list, consider the following disciplines.
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Middle Schoolers are Now Using AI to Create ‘Deepfake’ Pornography of Their Classmates
The pornography crisis is being exacerbated further by AI, once again highlighting the unfortunate truth of a joke in tech circles: first we create new technology, then we figure out how to watch porn on it. The porn industry has ruined an untold number of lives. AI porn is taking that to the next level. We should be prepared for it.
A recent news story out of Alabama should be getting far more attention than it is, because it is a glimpse into the future. Middle school students are using artificial intelligence (AI) to create pornographic images of their female classmates:
A group of mothers in Demopolis say their daughters’ pictures were used with artificial intelligence to create pornographic images of their daughters. Tiffany Cannon, Elizabeth Smith, Holston Drinkard, and Heidi Nettles said they all learned on Dec. 4 that two of their daughters’ male classmates created and shared explicit photos of their daughters. Smith said since last Monday, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions.
‘They’re scared, they’re angry, they’re embarrassed. They really feel like why did this happen to them,’ said Smith. The group of mothers said there is an active investigation with Demopolis Police. However, they wish for the school district to take action. They believe this is an instance of cyberbullying and there are state laws and policies to protect their girls.
‘We have laws in place through the Safe School’s law and the Student Bullying Prevention Act, which says that cyberbullying will not be tolerated either on or off campus,’ said Smith. ‘It takes a lot for these girls to come forward, and they did. They need to be supported for that. Not just from their parents, but from their school and their community,’ said Nettles.
The school hasn’t given many details yet, with the Demopolis City Schools Superintendent Tony Willis saying in a statement that there is little they can do: “The school can only address things that happen at school events, school campus on school time. Outside of this, it becomes a parent and police matter. We sympathize with parents and never want wrongful actions to go without consequences –”
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Holding Fast to Your Christian Liberty
We cannot know what is in the hearts of fellow Christians as they seek to honor God in their daily lives, and we should not impose restrictions on believers where God has given us liberty. Although it is human nature to do so, we also should avoid comparing ourselves with other believers and thinking that they are better than we are—or that we are better than they are—for whatever reason, since all of us are sinners in need of God’s grace in Christ.
Do you ever feel like other people are better Christians than you are? Maybe they read their Bibles more, give more money to the church, pray more for others, are involved in church ministry, do more good deeds, or never seem to do anything really sinful. It’s easy to get discouraged when we start comparing our own Christian walk with other believers we know.
One of the big reasons this happens is that humans are geared to think that keeping rules is how we are right before God, and they are actually correct about this (see Lev. 18:5; Luke 10:25–28). The problem is that no one can keep God’s laws perfectly. This is why Jesus came: we need his perfect righteousness and perfect sacrifice to be counted to us through faith in Christ so we can be declared justified before God.
Some Christians can add requirements that the Bible doesn’t dictate.
Still, Christians are often prone to think that they will be closer to God by keeping certain rules and living certain lifestyles. The problem with this is that some Christians can add requirements that the Bible doesn’t command, or they may consider certain lifestyle choices to be more spiritual than others. What is a Christian to do when it comes to knowing how to live according to God’s word in this world?
The Westminster Confession of Faith gives us excellent counsel in this area in its chapter, “Of Christian Liberty and Liberty of Conscience”:God alone is Lord of the conscience, and hath left it free from the doctrines and commandments of men, which are, in anything, contrary to his Word; or beside it, if matters of faith, or worship. So that, to believe such doctrines, or to obey such commands, out of conscience, is to betray true liberty of conscience: and the requiring of an implicit faith, and an absolute and blind obedience, is to destroy liberty of conscience, and reason also. (WCF 20:2)
Look at the phrase, “or beside it.” With these words, the Westminster Confession of Faith reminds Christians that they are not bound by any “doctrines and commandments of men” that are not found in God’s word. It is also true that believers must be considerate of their neighbors, not causing them to stumble (Rom. 14:13–23: 1 Cor. 8:7–13). The sixteenth-century pastor and theologian John Calvin reminds Christians to use their freedom responsibly and lovingly:
Nothing is plainer than this rule: that we should use our freedom if it results in the edification of our neighbor, but if it does not help our neighbor, then we should forgo it (The Institutes, 3.19.12)
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The Danger of Evangelical Silence
The false narrative of separation of church and state was never intended to keep the church silent on matters of politics and political policy. The phrase “wall of separation between the church and the state” was originally coined by Thomas Jefferson in a letter to the Danbury Baptists on January 1, 1802. The idea was originally designed to keep the state out of the church rather than to keep the church out of the state. Therefore, for Christians to speak up, engage, and vote with a commitment to honoring Christ is essential for the good of our country.
Our nation has never been more polarized than it is today on matters of politics. It seems that many politicians are attempting to gain support and grow their base by jumping from one extreme position to the next. This is especially true regarding the issue of abortion. For the Christians, life is a non-debatable issue. For the liberals, the it’s being spun as a matter of “reproductive freedom” and a “private healthcare choice.” Suffice it to say, elections have consequences.
The social justice agenda has left an indelible mark upon our nation. The impact of deconstructionism is being felt in all spheres of our society. We see it in the sphere of the academy where every radical view imaginable is given center stage to indoctrinate the minds of the next generation while orthodox views of marriage, life, and foundational principles regarding the family and capitalism remain under vicious attack. We see this same move in the sphere of evangelicalism. While many religions are experiencing this dreaded threat, it’s the conservative protestant sphere that has in many ways capitulated the most.
What is at stake is massively important to western civilization and Christianity in America—which will have an impact upon the whole world.
The Tragedy of Christian Silence
During the rise of social justice movement (pre-2018), Christian leaders were moving about in the shadows and setting the stage for the social justice deconstructionist agenda. After the release of the Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel, a light came on for many people.
Sadly, many people remain confused and committed to supporting the very men and ministries who were exposed during that time period. During the post-George Floyd era, many Christian leaders have become willing to speak up, march in the streets in Black Lives Matters events, and articulate their positions regarding systemic injustice, critical race theory, and intersectionality.
Today, these same voices are silent. They have moved back into the shadows. At the very hour when the truth should be made known and for the church to vote properly, they refuse to speak up. This lack of clarity results in confusion on the issues at hand and encourages politicians to look beyond the borders of orthodoxy for voices to help them spread the truth regarding the dangers that attack the very fabric of our civilization. Compromising Christian leaders should be ashamed of their commitment to the middle of the road rather than the truth. You can’t be committed to truth while embracing error.
The Tragedy of False Christianity
If the church is to honor Christ, the church certainly does not need false prophets and leaders of false religions to be leading the charge in the fight for freedom. Sadly, within the sphere of evangelical Christianity, far too many Christian leaders have remained silent on the issues. They have gone off the grid. They are unwilling to stand and allow their voices to be heard. Because of this, many politicians have chosen to hitch themselves to false prophets of the highest order such as Kenneth Copeland and Paula White. This is tragic on many levels.
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