Blessings to you today, my friends.

Today’s Kindle deals include quite a lengthy list.
(Yesterday on the blog: God Doesn’t Need You To Do His PR)
Candlelight
“My wife and I were on the way to church for the annual Christmas Eve candlelight service. The traffic was dense in the night, a dissonance of glaring white headlights, fuming red taillights, and a looming, bristling pall of impatience.” This is the beginning to a compelling and poetic article.
Shattered
“Shattered. The word I heard describing the damage the bullet had done to my husband’s voice box. This onomatopoeia could be our theme word for the last year. Entering 2022, Tommy and I were overjoyed and expectant, facing our bright future together. We were fulfilled in our dream careers, part of a flourishing church family, looking to buy our first house, and planning to start a family. Then, one by one, these joys and expectations were taken away from us.”
Reclaiming Joy in Teaching
You may enjoy this interview with Tom Schreiner.
What Are You Calling a Church?
“The word I am referring to here is church. And when it comes to communication between missionaries and Christians back in their supporting churches, this word is used often, but almost never defined. What often results is a failure in communication that leaves both parties feeling good, but ultimately failing to serve one another well.”
Do Angels Carry Our Prayers to God?
John Piper answers a good question here. “Millions don’t believe that the infinite, blazing holiness of God is so great that no angel, nor the mother of God, Mary, could be a better protection for us than Christ. Let me say that again. That’s just so crucial. She didn’t believe, and millions don’t believe, that the infinite, blazing holiness of God is so great that no angel and no mother of God could be a better protection for us than Christ.”
Don’t Be A Fig Leaf
“As recipients of grace and forgiveness, Christians should be quick to be gracious and forgiving. But extending grace should include encouraging fellow believers to admit and confront sin so that they can experience the grace and forgiveness that only comes from Christ.” This is very true!
Flashback: Was It A Waking Dream?
I became aware that I was in my living room, not the cemetery. I became aware that it had been a dream, not reality. But I also became aware that my face was wet with tears and my heart rich with joy. For though it was only a waking dream, it was a dream grounded in the best of all promises, the surest of all hopes.

He has chosen not to heal me, but to hold me. The more intense the pain, the closer His embrace. —Joni Eareckson-Tada

For those called to ministry, Spurgeon College and Midwestern Seminary offer a dual-degree program that allows students to earn their Bachelor of Arts and Master’s degree (MDiv; MA, Biblical Counseling; or MA, Christian Education) in 5 years. Learn more about Accelerate here.

On the last day, we will be held accountable for how we have utilized the resources and gifts our Lord provides us—money, time, talents, relationships, and more. Disciples of Jesus are called by our Lord to leverage our resources and gifts with diligence, wisdom, and risk-taking faith in order to expand His kingdom and showcase His glory. As we do, we are spurred on by the hope of hearing our Master tell us on that last day, “Well done, good and faithful servant… Enter into the joy of your master” (Matt 25:21, ESV).
For those aspiring to church leadership, this call to accountability and stewardship should transform how we train for ministry. Many sensing a call toward church leadership recognize the value of a Bible college or seminary education. While aspiring leaders have many different options for theological education in front of them, there are certain principles that every aspiring leader should seek to live out during their season of theological training and formation. Here are four God-given resources that aspiring church leaders should focus on leveraging during their season of ministry training.
Leverage Your Mind
Speaking to a group of seminarians in 1911, Princeton theologian B. B. Warfield exhorted, “Say what you will, do what you will, the ministry is a ‘learned profession’; and the man without learning, no matter with what other gifts he may be endowed, is unfit for its duties.”[1] Amid all the opportunities and responsibilities that one’s season in Bible college or seminary may bring, it is vital that aspiring leaders remember their special vocation as a student. Bible college and seminary are special seasons to develop the habits, disciplines, instincts, and foundational convictions of a lifelong student of God’s Word. In a seminary setting, your hope is to learn an immense amount about God, His Word, and His people in a short amount of time. This is 3 to 5 years of training meant to equip you for the next 30 to 50 years of service. In that short period of time, you cannot learn everything you will need to know about souls and Scripture. But you can develop the foundational habits of study that will shape you for decades of service to God’s people.
Even as you study (and study… and study some more), it is important that you remember the ultimate goal of your study. Warfield warns against pitting your study against your devotional life: “Why should you turn from God when you turn to your books, or feel that you must [turn] from your books in order to turn to God? If learning and devotion are as antagonistic as that, then the intellectual life is in itself accursed and there can be no question of a religious life for a student, even of theology.” The truth is that what we don’t know about God, we cannot worship Him for. And the goal of theological training is not degrees, it is doxology. As aspiring ministry leaders leverage their minds, they must recognize that they do so not for human applause or any temporal gain, but so that they can know, delight in, and serve the God of their salvation.
Leverage Your Relationships
Aspiring ministry leaders should not only be concerned with what course of study they are committing themselves to, but also what type of community they are committing themselves to. Perhaps the most impactful aspect of residential study in particular is the number of deep relationships that students develop with fellow classmates and faculty members. It behooves those training for ministry to find a school and a program where fellow learners and mentors can become lifelong partners in ministry.
Leverage Your Time
The Apostle Paul exhorts believers in Ephesians 5:16 to make “the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” This is not a law-fueled burden to maximize every waking moment by the standards of modern “productivity” or “efficiency.” Instead, it is a call for believers to prayerfully and prudently use their one non-renewable resource. Aspiring leaders, then, should seek out theological training pathways that avoid redundancy and accelerate the attainment of key competencies in Biblical exegesis, theology, preaching/teaching, counseling, evangelism, and more.
Leverage Your Finances
Jesus’ words in Luke 14:28 are binding for those looking to commit to formal ministry training: “For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it?” Aspiring leaders should look to find affordable programs, and work to avoid large amounts of debt. As you leave your season of training and embark on a lifetime of ministry, financial freedom and well-formed habits of frugality will allow you to serve the church with greater effectiveness and joy.
Accelerate Your Ministry Training
Over the past years, I have had the privilege of watching these principles of stewardship play out in the lives of students as I have led the Accelerate program at Spurgeon College & Midwestern Seminary. Accelerate is a dual-degree program that allows students to earn both their bachelor’s and master’s degrees in just five years. These students—both on-campus in Kansas City and around the globe—have chosen a path of academic and spiritual formation that allows them to leverage their mind, relationships, time, and finances with wisdom and intentionality. Whatever path an aspiring ministry leader might pursue, the calling remains the same for everyone. Leverage everything that’s been given to you for the glory of God and the good of others! And do so with the hope of that last day in mind, when you will hear your Lord welcome you into an eternity of joy in His presence.
[1] B.B. Warfield, The Religious Life of Theological Students

A couple of weeks ago I read a story about Tesla. The reporter had written a long piece about the company’s declining share prices and what it might mean for its future. He had written about its eccentric founder and some of his perplexing public comments. At the end of the article he included a little note explaining that, though he had reached out to the company to request a comment, he had received none. He had received none because Tesla has no public relations or media relations department. There was no comment because there was no one to provide one. I thought this made a funny little ending to an otherwise serious story.

I have spent a good bit of time over the past few years thinking and writing about grief and that has led to me read and converse a lot about the subject. And one theme I have come across time and again is Christians who are committed to doing a bit of PR work on behalf of the Lord. Though God has no media relations department, these people feel inclined to volunteer for the position and to explain—or explain away—some of what God says or does. Like any PR representative, they stand between the “boss” and the world to explain what he really meant, what he really intended to communicate in his Word.
Most often they intend to remove any connection between the suffering or death of a human being and the sovereignty of God. “God did not wish for this to happen,” they might say. “This could never be God’s will.” Maybe they’ll even say something like, “Satan won this round.” They want to protect God from his own sovereignty, as if it does not extend to matters as consequential as sorrow, suffering, and death.
Yet the consistent testimony of the Bible and the consistent testimony of the historic Christian faith is that God is, indeed, sovereign over all things. He is sovereign over birth, he is sovereign over death, and he is sovereign over everything in between. This means he is sovereign over the means of death and even over any suffering that accompanies death. Yet, of course, never in such a way as to sin or to be morally responsible for sin.
This relationship between God’s sovereignty and human responsibility is difficult to understand. In fact, it may well be impossible to fully understand, at least on this side of eternity. And so we take it by faith as the clear testimony of God’s Word.
And as we take it by faith, it brings meaning and purpose to our times of difficulty, for how could meaning and purpose fail to follow when we submit ourselves to the providence of God? He stands behind our sorrows, not as the one who is necessarily morally responsible for their causes—he compels no man to fire a gun and no woman to drive in a drunken state—but as the one who ultimately has power over all the circumstances of life and death.
There are many places you can go to see how this can be proven in the Bible (see here for example) but my interest today is in showing how other Christians have understood and explained the extent of God’s sovereignty. I do this because I have often felt the need to verify my understanding of Scripture and what I take to be its expansive explanation of God’s sovereignty against better theologians than myself. And, as I have consulted them, here is what I have found.

Heidelberg Catechism: “God’s providence is his almighty and ever present power, whereby, as with his hand, he still upholds heaven and earth and all creatures, and so governs them that leaf and blade, rain and drought, fruitful and barren years, food and drink, health and sickness, riches and poverty, indeed, all things, come to us not by chance but by his fatherly hand.” (Note: all creatures … all things.)
Westminster Shorter Catechism: “God’s works of providence are His most holy, wise, and powerful preserving and governing all his creatures and all their actions.” (Note: all his creatures and all their actions.)
John Piper. “God, in his absolute ownership and sovereignty over all life, appoints the time and the kind of every death of every person on this planet.” (Note: God appoints the time and he appoints the kind.)
Erwin Lutzer. “Our death is just as meticulously planned as the death of Christ. There is no combination of evil men, disease, or accident that can kill us as long as God still has work for us to do. To those who walk with faith in God’s providence, they die according to God’s timetable… The immediate cause of death might be any number of things, but the ultimate cause is God.” (Note: distinction between immediate cause and ultimate cause.)
Loraine Boettner: “Nations, as well as individuals, are thus in the hands of God, who appoints the bounds of their habitation, and controls their destiny. He controls them as absolutely as a man controls a rod or a staff. They are in His hands, and He employs them to accomplish His purposes. He breaks them in pieces as a potter’s vessel, or He exalts them to greatness, according to His good pleasure. He gives peace and fruitful seasons, property and happiness, or He sends the desolations of war, famine, drought and pestilence. All of these things are of His disposing, and are designed for intelligent ends under His universal providence. God is no mere spectator of the universe He has made, but is everywhere present and active, the all-sustaining ground, and all-governing power of all that is.” (Note: the full expanse of God’s sovereignty.)
William Mason. “Christian! Death cannot hurt you! Death is your best friend – who is commissioned by Christ to summon you from the world of vanity and woe, and from a body of sin and death – to the blissful regions of glory and immortality, to meet your Lord, and to be forever with Him.” (Note: death is commissioned by God and summoned by God.)
Randy Alcorn. “Our sovereign God weaves millions of details into our lives. He may have one big reason, or a thousand little ones, for bringing a certain person or success or failure or disease or accident into our lives. His reasons often fall outside our present lines of sight. If God uses cancer or a car accident to conform us to Himself, then regardless of the human, demonic, or natural forces involved, He will be glorified.” (Note: Even difficult and grievous circumstances are used by God to do his will.)
A.W. Pink. “The Lord God omnipotent reigneth. His government is exercised over inanimate matter, over the brute beasts, over the children of men, over angels good and evil, and over Satan Himself. No revolving of a world, no shining of a star, no storm, no movement of a creature, no actions of men, no errands of angels, no deeds of the Devil—nothing in all the vast universe can come to pass otherwise than God has eternally purposed. Here is a foundation for faith. Here is a resting place for the intellect. Here is an anchor for the soul, both sure and steadfast. It is not blind fate, unbridled evil, man or Devil, but the Lord Almighty who is ruling the world, ruling it according to His own good pleasure and for His own eternal glory.” (Note: the totality of God’s sovereignty.)
John Owen. “We cannot enjoy peace in this world unless we are ready to yield to the will of God in respect of death. Our times are in His hand, at His sovereign disposal. We must accept that as best.” (Note: peace is related to accepting God’s sovereignty.)
J.I. Packer. “To know that nothing happens in God’s world apart from God’s will may frighten the godless, but it stabilizes the saints.” (Note: God’s sovereignty over all things, including sorrow, suffering, and death is meant to give us confidence and stability.)

And so, as far as I am concerned, the truth is as clear as clear can be.

Good morning. Grace and peace to you.

Crossway has a new list of Kindle deals for you.
(Yesterday on the blog: Looking Back on a Finished Lifework)
More than Music: How the Congregation Plays a Part in Every Element of Worship
The point of this one is really important: The congregation has a role in every element of the Sunday morning gatherings (not just the singing).
Why Christianity is Both Less and More Narrow Than you Think
“I had an atheist friend ask me how I could live with the narrow claims of Christianity. ‘How do you feel about being so narrow minded?’ he asked me. I was a bit amused by the irony of his question.”
Our Unlikely Allies
“If you want to turn the world’s wisdom on its head completely, this is it—” that we boast in our weaknesses.
Split or Stay? Encouragement for Anglican Pastors
John Yates: “A few days ago, church leaders representing the majority of Anglicans worldwide broke communion with the Archbishop of Canterbury over the Church of England’s recent decision to bless same-sex unions. This situation has put many of my English friends in a difficult position. Many others are or have been in similar circumstances—whether Methodist or Presbyterian or other affiliations.”
Weep with Those Who Weep
Kevin Carson: “One of the benefits of being in the family of God relates to the fact that God both told us to weep with those who weep, but also, in the love of Jesus Christ and as part of His family, we naturally desire to weep with those who weep.”
His Grace is Sufficient!
“Have you ever felt distressed so grievously that you thought your heart would burst? Did you feel like the pain you were experiencing was uncontrollable, and there seemed to be no boundary to the heartache you were suffering?” I think we all have at one time or another.
Flashback: Cheer Up, Men and Women of Unappreciated Services
Many people feel unappreciated or underappreciated at times. Many feel as if they serve more than they are served, give more than they are given. And often that is exactly the case.

Though my natural instinct is to wish for a life free from pain, trouble, and adversity, I am learning to welcome anything that makes me conscious of my need for Him. —Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

I have long observed that it is the rare individual who values completing a task as highly as beginning one. We are all good at setting out with great gusto, but so often, whether through poor planning or waning interest or even the vicissitudes of providence, we fail to complete what we’ve begun. If this is true of our minor plans and tasks, how much more the ones we thought might define our legacy on this earth. Thankfully this is not the case with the Lord, as this quote from F.B. Meyer so eloquently explains.

It is very seldom that man can look back on a finished lifework.
The chisel drops from the paralyzed hand ere the statue is complete; the chilling fingers refuse to guide the pen along another line, though the book is so nearly done; the statesman must leave his plans and far-reaching schemes to be completed by another, perhaps his rival.
But as from his cross Jesus Christ our Lord looked upon the work of redemption which he had undertaken, and in connection with which he had suffered even to the hiding of his Father’s face, he could not discover one stitch, or stone, or particle deficient.
For untold myriads for thee and me and all there was done that which never needed to be done again, but stood as an accomplished fact forevermore.

My gratitude goes to TGC for sponsoring the blog this week to let you know about another series of their always-interesting Good Faith Debates.

Today’s Kindle deals include a good selection of titles.
(Yesterday on the blog: Navigating the Space between Singleness and Marriage)
Hope for Those Tempted to Control Their Children’s Spiritual Lives
This is so important. “So much of our parenting is built on control, which is not always a bad thing. We want to control the influences around our child, so we don’t let them watch inappropriate TV shows. We filter the internet in our home, we get to know the parents of the friends they hang out with, and we tell them not to walk anywhere alone or to talk to strangers. But control in parenting can easily take a negative turn.”
‘No Celebrities Except Jesus’: How Asbury Protected the Revival
Hopefully you’ve got the ability to read this article at CT about the revival and how the administration at Asbury did their best to foster and protect it.
From WEIRD to Absurd
“As I watch the debates in Scotland, and talk with my Anglican friends – agonizing as they are over the implications of their bishops’ absurd decisions around same-sex blessings – I grieve but also feel a growing conviction that we shouldn’t take any of this too seriously. The devil loves to be taken seriously, he hates to be mocked. What we are living through is ridiculous, absurd, and passing.”
One Year Later, Moscow Pastor Says, ‘I Know God Is Going to Judge Us All’
“The first week after Russia began ‘special military operations’ in Ukraine, Russian pastor Evgeny Bakhmutsky couldn’t sleep.” My Worship Round the World journey was meant to take me to this church though, for obvious reasons, we’ve had to go elsewhere.
Facts Don’t Care About Your Healings
This is yet another interesting and challenging reflection from Samuel James.
Rethinking the Value of Potential
Melissa has “noticed that a common pro-life talking point needs reforming.”
Flashback: Only the Christian Faith Begins At the Top
Only the Christian faith begins at the top. We are made right with God first, then obey his law as it is suspended from above, as it is revealed from the heavens.

As I go into a cemetery I like to think of the time when the dead shall rise from their graves… Thank God, our friends are not buried; they are only sown! —D.L. Moody

There’s little doubt that the modern world creates some unique challenges when it comes to navigating the space between singleness and marriage. There are a host of factors that exist across Western culture and a separate bundle of issues that exist within Christian culture. Put together they can create significant difficulties in successfully pairing up and transitioning from singleness to marriage.

This challenge is the topic of Paul Grimmond’s new book Water For My Camels. Though the title is clever (at least if you can catch the biblical reference) the subtitle is far more descriptive: Navigating the space between singleness and marriage when the Bible doesn’t talk about dating. And, indeed, while the Bible clearly commends marriage and expects it for the majority of people, it offers little guidance on getting there. While it describes a number of ways in which people moved from singleness to marriage in the past, these are only ever descriptive and never prescriptive. So what are we to do? We are to apply biblical wisdom. “What does it mean to apply biblical wisdom to the process of this thing our culture calls ‘dating’? That’s the big question that this book will seek to answer.”
Grimmond does this by taking three key steps. First, he turns to the Bible to establish a series of principles that are meant to guide and shape our understanding of dating. Second, he contrasts the Bible’s ancient and timeless approach with the current cultural moment and with contemporary attitudes to dating. Third, he seeks to apply the Bible’s commands to the reality of dating today. He also addresses a very long and thorough list of questions about the topic.
And overall I think he does this very well. He uses ‘dating’ as a kind of blanket term “to describe the process of making some kind of commitment to another person so that together you can work out whether marriage to one another is in your future”—a very reasonable definition. He helpfully establishes principles like the fact that we were made for marriage, yet marriage is not ultimate. He shows from Scripture how sex and marriage are always meant to go together and how Christian marriage must only ever be “in the Lord.” He lays out the cultural factors that make dating especially confusing and difficult. He gets practical with counsel about who should date, how they should date, and at what stage of life. He cuts a good middle ground between dating with marriage in mind and burdening a new relationship with talk of nuptials.
In quite a lengthy FAQ chapter he answers more than 50 questions of the kind young people are actually asking as they consider forming romantic relationships and moving toward marriage: How do I know if it’s God’s will for me to get married? If I’m same-sex attracted, is it okay to date someone of the opposite sex and get married? Do I need to disclose my past sexual history to someone I’m dating? How important are parental expectations and family culture when dating? When should I consider choosing to be single for the sake of the kingdom of God?
Water For My Camels is a brief book, but a very helpful one. Grimmond is currently the Dean of Students at Moore Theological College in Sydney, and prior to that he worked in ministry to university students. This long experience shows in his understanding of the kinds of questions people are asking and in his skillful answers to them. Those who are currently navigating the tricky space between singleness and marriage would do well to consider reading his book. I’m quite certain they’ll be glad they’ve done so.
(The best place to order may be directly from the publisher.)
Buy from Amazon

The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you today.

There are some new Kindle deals for you this morning.
No Word For Grace
“How do you preach the gospel in a tribe where there is no word for grace?” What an interesting challenge!
Hearts Strangely Warmed at Asbury
I really appreciate this charitable take on the recent revival from Fred Sanders and Joe Henderson.
Doing what is right without needing a new word from the Lord
“…sometimes we make the service of God a little too mystical. We look for guidance and pray for God to open doors. Some might ask God for a sign before they do something, or expect a special word from God for them personally telling them the right decision to make. Some seek a sense of peace about a decision. While this does exhibit faith in believing that God can do this, it is not a Biblical expectation.”
Unexpected English Idioms (Phil 3:5)
Bill Mounce provides an example of a case in which a very literal translation can actually hinder understanding.
Turkish Christians Plead: Don’t Distribute Bibles After Earthquake
CT reports on Christian relief efforts in Turkey. “The Protestant Association of Turkey (TeK) has been hard at work to establish guidelines. Last week, after expressing a ‘debt of gratitude’ to all who have prayed and given to support relief efforts, it issued six directives.”
Your House is on Fire
Kristin wrote this one specifically for pastors’ wives, but it is applicable far beyond that.
Flashback: Little Seeds that Split Great Rocks
…each Christian must be on constant watch against little seeds of dispute that fall into little fissures of disunity. For little disputes have their ways of growing into big disputes, their ways of becoming far greater than we would ever have thought, would ever have imagined.

For God’s people to truly love and obey him, they needed more than rules. They needed new hearts—hearts with his good law written right on them. God had to transform his people from the inside out. —Gloria Furman

The God of love and peace be with you today.

Logos users will want to take a look at this sale on volumes in the excellent NIC series.
If you’re interested in getting to know the Puritans a bit better, Westminster Books has a nice collection on sale.
(Yesterday on the blog: Ask Me Anything (Communion as a Guest, Lent, Egalitarianism, Eschatology, etc))
Is the Earliest, Most Complete Hebrew Bible Going on Auction?
A rare manuscript is being auctioned and some of the claims about it need to be scrutinized. “Sadly, looking at anything through the lens of a dollar sign can distort one’s vision of reality. Perhaps that is happening here. At any rate, what is certain is that a veritable dust cloud of exaggerations and half-truths are flying around in the press coverage of the imminent sale of Codex Sassoon. I would like to try and clear the air a little.”
Southern Baptist Convention Disfellowships Saddleback Church
This is a big deal. “One of the country’s biggest and best-known megachurches, Saddleback Church, is no longer a part of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) after bringing on a female teaching pastor last year.”
How Should We Handle Outrage?
“This is a difficult time. Evil is called good, while good is called evil. Objective truth is disdained. Feelings are divinized. God is mocked.” Amy Hall considers how we should handle outrage at a time like this.
The FAQs: Anglican Communion Splits over ‘Blessing’ of Same-Sex Marriages
“Earlier this month, the Church of England’s national assembly voted to let priests bless same-sex marriages and civil partnerships. In response, the Global South Fellowship of Anglican Churches (GSFA) issued a statement announcing that this schismatic and unbiblical action meant the Church of England had broken communion with the more faithful provinces within the Anglican Communion.” Joe Carter explains in one of his FAQs. (See also: Which Way, Anglicans? Global South Responds to Church of England Blessing Same-Sex Marriages.)
The Lost Art of Handing Out Gospel Tracts
“I still get scared. It’s still awkward almost every time. And yet, I continue to feel compelled, even privileged, to do this uncomfortable, scary work of handing out tracts. If you’ve been terrified to share the gospel or have hesitated to use tracts to do so, here are a few reasons that may cause you to reconsider.”
What is Reformed Theology?
Ligon Duncan provides a brief introduction to Reformed theology in this short video.
Flashback: When We Go Unnourished
…if you, my friend, fail to nourish your soul, you have no cause to be surprised when your soul feels dry, when your faith feels parched, when you seem only to whither and fade.

All things as they move toward God are beautiful, and they are ugly as they move away from Him. —A.W. Tozer

It has been a long time since I shared an “Ask Me Anything” article—which is to say, since I publicly answered a selection of the questions that have come my way in the past while. But here, at long last, is my attempt to remedy this.

Can a believer take communion at another Bible-believing church besides his own.
Generally, yes. But there are two important matters to consider: your convictions and the church’s convictions.
Before I explain what I mean, though, I’m glad that the question assumes two factors that I regard as important. The first is that this communion is being celebrated in the context of a local church rather than a camp, conference, or other kind of gathering that is something less than the local church. The second is that this is a Bible-believing church, which I take to mean a true rather than a false church. These are both important because Christians have long held that the Lord’s Supper is properly celebrated in the local church and that the right administration of the sacraments (or ordinances) is a mark of a true and healthy church.
As for participating as a guest in a church that is not your own, different Christians will have different convictions. Before visiting another another church it would be good to sharpen your own convictions on the matter. The majority of Christians regard it as acceptable, though there are some who do not. Personally, I will participate at a church I am visiting but would not at a camp, conference, small group, or other context that is not the gathering of the local church.
The second consideration is the practice of the church you are visiting. Most churches are glad to welcome guests, though there are some who will not and others who will only do so if you have first spoken to the elders to give them confidence that you are a believer (e.g. some churches in the Dutch Reformed tradition). Hopefully the church you are visiting “fences” the table by clearly explaining who is invited to participate and who is not. They may say “all believers are invited” or “all baptized believers are invited” or “all baptized believers who are members of a gospel-preaching church are invited.” Listen carefully and you will probably hear whether you can participate or why, out of respect for their position you should not.
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I hold to the egalitarian position on gender roles. Could you please recommend a irenic complementarian book I could read?
Certainly. I am glad that you are willing to consider the alternative position and that you’d like to hear the strongest possible case for it. There’s really no better way to sharpen (or modify) your beliefs.
I might turn first to Kevin DeYoung’s Men and Women in the Church: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction. This is how he explains his goal for it: “Our church has a book nook in the corner of our main lobby. I have often wished for a book there that explained the Bible’s teaching about men and women in the church in a way that the interested layperson could understand and in a size that he or she could read in a few hours. I have wished for a book that would argue its case without being argumentative; a book I could give to other pastors wrestling with this issue; and a book pastors could give to their elders, deacons, and trustees that they would actually read; a book that displays exegetical integrity with minimal technical jargon; a book weightier than a pamphlet but lighter than a doorstop.”
As a follow-up I would encourage you to read Embracing Complementarianism by Graham Beynon and Jane Tooher which focuses on how to work out complementarianism in the life and worship of the local church. They do a great job of showing how the doctrine can and should be worked out in practice.
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I am just getting acquainted with you and your writing, and noticed you said that Jesus is your Savior. I stumbled on that, because, I don’t understand why you didn’t say he is your Lord and Savior. It seems to me this is an extremely crucial point.
I would respond that there is a difference between denying the Lordship of Jesus and simply not stating it each time. If you look over the way the New Testament uses “Lord” and “Savior” you will find that it sometimes uses one, sometimes uses the other, and sometimes uses both. Here’s the evidence from the epistles and Revelation:

You’ll need to scroll a bit to read them all, but you’ll see the writers affirming Christ as Savior and Lord, but only sometimes (rarely, actually) joining the two. So my assumption when it comes to other believers would be that they affirm that Jesus is Lord even when they don’t explicitly state it. And, indeed, I very much affirm that Jesus is my Savior and my Lord.
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Can you suggest a book on eschatology for a study group for men?
I was recently struck by Paul’s words to the church in Thessalonica. At the end of chapter 4 he briefly describes the last days and the resurrection of the dead, then says, “Therefore encourage one another with these words.” It is more than a little sad that eschatology tends to discourage more than encourage. And so perhaps the place to begin in order to be encouraged by these matters is with a book like Dayton Hartman’s Jesus Wins. His burden is to understand eschatology as a doctrine meant to help us live for the Lord right now. He also wants to foster unity among believers by focusing on what the various positions hold in common. It is just a short book and no more than an introduction to a vast topic, but it is useful in shaping the purpose and direction of our studies of the end times.
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What is your perspective on Lent?
I have written about this at some length so will direct you to that article. But in summary:

Nowhere in the Bible are we commanded to observe Ash Wednesday, Lent, Good Friday, Easter, or any other holy day. And nowhere are we forbidden. So Lent (and even Easter) is a matter of Christian freedom.
Those who do mark it and those who do not should both be cautious against disparaging others or afflicting their conscience.
There is no blessing conferred by Lent that is not available through the ordinary means of grace God has established. (This may well be the most important point to understand so you can be sure you aren’t unintentionally communicating the opposite.)
Those who mark Lent are reaching outside the Reformed tradition and borrowing elements of other Christian traditions.
To quote R. Scott Clark, “The history of the church tells us that the road to spiritual bondage is paved with good intentions.” Hence we should be aware of potential negative consequences of marking what the Bible does not instruct us to.

I concluded this way: “To those who plan to observe Lent, I wish you well and trust you’ll benefit from a time you’ve chosen to make special between you and the Lord. To those who plan not to observe Lent, I wish you well also and trust you’ll benefit equally from the so-ordinary, so-wonderful means of grace that are available to all of us all the time.”
I’d encourage you to read and consider it all.