We’ve all heard that marriage was designed to make us holy more than to make us happy. And though it’s a bit of a trite phrase that threatens to force a false dichotomy between holiness and happiness, there is a measure of truth to it. At its best, marriage does, indeed, help us grow in holiness. It helps us in our lifelong quest to put sin to death and come alive to righteousness. Aileen and I knew this was true when we got married all those years ago, but as time has passed we’ve been surprised to learn how it’s true.

It had been our assumption that marriage would make us holy because we would essentially be enlisting another person to our cause—a person who would assist us in identifying sin and in helping us put it to death. “This is the will of God: your sanctification,” says Paul, and each of us would be involving ourselves in embracing God’s will for the other.
Certainly there have been times when each of us has helpfully and even formally pointed out where the other has developed patterns of sin and selfishness. There have been times when we have each helped the other fight a particular sin or a general sinfulness. Yet as we look back on the past twenty-three years, we see that this has been relatively rare. It’s not that we don’t see plenty of sin in one another and not that we are firmly opposed to pointing it out. No, it’s more that there is another way that marriage has helped us grow in sanctification—a way in which our efforts are directed at addressing ourselves more than fixing each other.
Each of us has our sins, our imperfections, and our shortcomings. Each of us is pretty well established in who we are and how we behave and each of us is, at 45, pretty unlikely to experience dramatic transformations in this. That’s not to say that we have given up or declared ourselves as holy as we can ever be. Far from it! But at this point we are assuming that the sins that dog us today will probably continue to dog us to the end—though hopefully with diminishing strength. And this means that the sin we have each had to tolerate in the other is sin we will likely need to tolerate for however many more years the Lord gives us. So while Aileen may grow in holiness by having me confront her in her sins, she seems to grow more in holiness by patiently tolerating my sinfulness—by loving me despite my sin and loving me as the Lord helps me progressively put that sin to death.
Then, while each of us has our sins, each of us also has our quirks, our preferences, our idiosyncrasies, our annoyances. And just like we assume that the sins that have dogged each of us through the first twenty-three will dog us for the next twenty-three, we assume that the things that just plain annoy us about one another today are likely to persist as well. And let’s be honest—it is often harder to tolerate a bad habit than a bad sin. It is often harder to tolerate the way your spouse chews his food or leaves her clothes on the ground than the way he sins against you or the way she remains unsanctified. And again, while Aileen might grow in her sanctification by having me formally point out a way in which she is sinful, she seems to grow more in sanctification by learning to accept and perhaps even embrace some of those non-moral but oh-so-annoying things I do—those eccentricities and matters of preference.
So perhaps the foremost way that marriage has helped make us holy is not so much in calling each of us to serve as the other’s second conscience, a junior assistant to the Holy Spirit in bringing conviction of sin. It is not in calling each of us to be a kind of moral sandpaper to actively scour off each other’s rough edges. Rather, marriage has helped make us holy by calling each of us to extend a kind of divine mercy toward the other—to simply live lovingly with someone who is prone to be sinful and irritating.
In marriage, God allows us to see one another as we really are, then to accept one another as we really are—as holistic human beings who are a mixture of holy and depraved, grownup and immature, wonderful and almost unbelievably annoying. Marriage makes us holy not just in compelling us to identify and confront sin in the other, but also in calling us to bear patiently with another person’s sin, preferences, and bad habits. In other words, marriage makes us holy in the way it calls us to be like God in overlooking offenses, in imparting mercy, in extending forgiveness, in displaying compassion, in refusing to be petty. Thus, the great sanctifying challenge of marriage is not so much to fix one another, as to imitate Christ.

Good morning, my friends. Grace and peace to you today.

In case you missed it, there was a very good list of Kindle deals on Saturday.
I just wanted to offer the reminder that my latest book, Knowing and Enjoying God, is available and perhaps a reasonable gift or devotional option.
(Yesterday on the blog: The Tail End of our Tale)
12 Observations on Spiritual Authority
Samuel James makes some interesting observations about spiritual authority here.
Deconstructing Deconstructionism
“Conversations about deconstruction seem to be ubiquitous. Legion are the number of articles, social media links, sermon series, and videos dedicated to critiquing existing theological traditions, parachurch platforms, or public religious figures. While those engaging in this phenomenon have done so from several vantage points, two common approaches are taken by those leaving churches that teach historic Christian doctrine and ethics. Simply put, those approaches are exaggeration and ambiguity.”
An Open Letter to Listeners of “The Rise & Fall of Mars Hill”
I expect some will vociferously disagree with this article, but we’re rarely harmed by a thoughtful challenge, are we? “Mark Driscoll, based upon the charges brought against him from Mars Hill leaders and members, was unfit to be a pastor, but, if you didn’t attend Mars Hill, is that any of your business? What is your role (if any) in this painful experience?”
Watch Keith & Kristyn Getty’s Irish Christmas Concert FREE
Join Ireland’s own Keith & Kristyn Getty for a one-night-only livestream of Sing! An Irish Christmas—live from the Museum of the Bible! Gather your family and sing the songs of Christmas together again through soaring melodies and foot-stomping Irish-American renditions of your favorite Christmas hymns. RSVP today and receive a FREE digital download of our keepsake hymnal and program book featuring new songs from the Gettys, devotional material and advent readings, and more! (Sponsored Link)
‘Tis the Season for Topigetical Sermons
“The Christmas season is upon us, which gives us Reformed Christians another reason to fight. Huzzah! Or less cynically, it’s time for the annual intramural debates which have other Christians scratching their heads about all the fuss” I suppose the more Reformed you are, the more this may make sense to you.
Advent & Christmas Videos for 2021
Here’s a roundup of some advent and Christian videos you may enjoy and may wish to share.
Conservatives in both Parliament and the Senate allow Canada’s conversion therapy ban to pass with zero opposition
This one is largely for the Canadians who are trying to better understand what happened with Bill C-4 (and how all the parties let us down so badly). “It came as a nasty and heartbreaking shock when on the afternoon of December 1, the Conservative Party presented a motion to fast-track Bill C-4, skipping the entire deliberative process entirely to send the bill directly to the Senate. The motion passed with unanimous consent — not a single MP stood up to say ‘nay.’”
Come Let Us Adore Him (Video)
This is a neat little video from the John 10:10 Project.
Flashback: When God Goes Big And I Go Small
God gives us his commands but also gives us wisdom to apply them in all the intricacies of life—especially life in a messy, sin-stained world.

As soon as a penitent appears in the doorway of God’s throne-room, the golden sceptre of His royal forgiveness is stretched out for him to touch. —F.B. Meyer

There may be no language as quirky and irregular as English, nor any language whose words can have such varied meanings and whose letters can be pronounced in such a multitude of ways. That’s the premise behind this old poem I stumbled upon in an old anthology. It it titled, rather unimaginatively, “The English Language.” It’s a good and fun one to read aloud.

A pretty deer is dear to me,A hare with downy hair:I love a hart with all my heart,But barely bear a bear.‘Tis plain that no one takes a planeTo have a pair of pears;A rake, though, often takes a rakeTo tare away the tares.All rays raise thyme, time razes all;And through the whole, hole wears.A writ, in writing “right,” may writeIt “wright,” and still be wrong—For  “write” and “rite” are neither “right,”And don’t to wright belong.Beer often brings a bier to man,Coughing a coffin brings.And too much ale will make us ail,As well as other things.The person lies who says he liesWhen he is but reclining;And, when consumptive folks decline,They all decline declining.A quail don’t quail before a storm—A bough will bow before it;We cannot rein the rain at all—No earthly powers reign o’er it.The dyer dyes awhile, then dies;To dye he’s always trying,Until upon his dying-bedHe thinks no more of dyeing.A son of Mars mars many a sun;All deys must have their days.And every knight should pray each nightTo Him who weighs his ways.‘Tis meet that man should mete out meatTo feed misfortune’s son;The fair should fare on love alone,Else one cannot be won.A lass, alas! is something false;Of faults a maid is made;Her waist is but a barren waste—Though stayed, she is not staid.The springs spring forth in Spring, and shootsShoot forward one and all;Though Summer kills the flowers, it leavesThe leaves to fall in Fall.I would a story here commence,But you might find it stale;So let’s suppose that we have reachedThe tail end of our tale.

May you know God’s sweetest blessings this weekend.

I want to extend my gratitude to TMAI for sponsoring the blog this week. I encourage you to get your free devotional today!
There is a very substantial list of Kindle deals today.
(Yesterday on the blog: Devotionals I Recommend for a New Year)
The Fellowship of the Ring is the Most Important Movie of My Lifetime
Samuel James explains what The Fellowship of the Ring meant to him and to an entire generation.
The Night Song (feat. Colin Buchanan)
I love this new song from CityAlight. “In the darkness God will keep me / He will stay and never sleep / In the darkness God is brighter / Though the night is long and deep.”
Consider the Birds
This is a hobby I wanted to get into and maybe someday still will. “Being a birdwatcher is actually a lot like being a Christian. You get the same reactions from people: ‘Oh okay, well, whatever makes you happy …’ and they think you just hang out with old people all the time.”
Omnirationality and Divine Providence
This is just about a must-read.
How ‘Progressive’ Can a Christian Get?
Someone asked John Piper just how progressive a person can get before we can no longer consider him a Christian. It’s a great question and Piper answers it well.
Driscoll, Schaeffer, and Packer on the Size of Your Church and the Idolatry of Your Heart
Sometimes you just have to say, “wow.”
Flashback: Do Not Be Surprised if the World Hates You
My friend, the more you love and honor God, the more you expose the evil of those who do not. The more you expose the evil of those who dishonor God, the more they’ll hate you.

The day of judgment will show that one of the greatest links in drawing some souls to God, has been the intercessory prayer of friends. —J.C. Ryle

This week’s Free Stuff Fridays is sponsored by The Master’s Academy International (TMAI), who also sponsored the blog this week. 

While supplies last, they are giving away free copies of Declaring His Glory Among the Nations: Daily Scripture Meditations from Pastors Around the World. 
This year-round devotional is the fruit of TMAI’s longstanding commitment to help train indigenous church leaders around the world. Over 200 authors from TMAI’s faculty and graduate bodies—representing 15 countries and nearly as many languages—came together to create this resource that’s FREE for Challies readers today. While the contexts of these authors differ in dramatic ways, God’s word remains ever the same. We pray that you will be richly blessed by their daily meditations on God’s Word.
John MacArthur shares more about this book and the ministry of TMAI:
“The Master’s Academy International (TMAI) was officially formed over 15 years ago to train local, indigenous church leaders all across the world who would then make and equip disciples of Christ in local churches. With a commitment to expositional preaching and the authority of Scripture, more than 15 schools on four continents have trained men to be faithful to the mandate of Christ’s commission in all contexts and places. As I have said elsewhere, I believe the history and impact of these schools is the greatest missions story of our time.”
MacArthur goes on:
“As you read through the entries each day, you will be fed truth from Scripture and will be challenged—whether directly because of its implications for the Christian walk, or indirectly by hearing what ministry is like for these individuals amidst their challenging circumstances. 
You will also gain a glimpse into the spiritual lives of these men around the world as they minister to you personally, demonstrating their love for the truth written and incarnate.
You will be reminded of the global nature of gospel ministry, and how much still needs to be done by way of prayer and support. 
You will feel compelled to pray for these schools and the men leading them, that our Lord who promised to be with us always, even to the end of the age, would be with them in their ministries, strengthening and blessing them for every good work.
May you be encouraged and equipped as you hear God’s glory declared among the nations.” 
Enter Here
While supplies last, if you enter—you win! Simply enter your information into the form below and we’ll ship a copy to your address.
Giveaway Rules: You may enter one time.  U.S. Addresses only. Again, the resource is only available while supplies last. By entering, you will be opted into TMAI’s mailing list to receive ministry update emails.

With 2021 quickly waning, many of us are beginning to think about a devotional approach for the year ahead. Some are looking for a resource that will serve as the main component of their devotions and others for something that will be merely supplementary. Either way, I’ve collected some of the resources I most recommend and hope you find something here that will serve you as you devote yourself to reading the Word of God in 2022.

Full-Year Devotionals

Partial-Year Devotionals

Topical Devotionals

If you are struggling in a particular area or eager to be taught in one, you may benefit from a topical devotional. Here I’d suggest the 31 Day Devotionals for Life series from P&R Publishing. They cover a number of key topics like Trusting God’s Promises, Putting God First, Fighting for Purity, and so on. I also recommend the short series by Lydia Brownback with volumes covering Trust, Joy, Contentment, and Purity and the short series by Keri Folmar which offers volumes on Faith, Grace, Joy, and Zeal. Those interested in some Old Testament study may appreciate Nancy Guthrie’s 5-volume Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament series, each of which covers 10 weeks of study. Some may also enjoy Leland Ryken’s 40 Favorite Hymns for the Christian Year.

Bible Studies

Some may enjoy structuring their devotions around a Bible study. While many of these are geared to small groups, they are equally suitable for couples or individuals.

Reformed Expository Bible Studies by P&R Publishing is a relatively new series and currently offers studies on 9 or 10 of the books of the Bible. Each study is 13 lessons long and each lesson is likely to take several days to complete. They nicely complement the sermon-based Reformed Expository Commentary series for those who wish to dive deeper.

The Good Book Guides from The Good Book Company feature a number of authors (e.g. Tim Chester, Al Mohler, Mike McKinley, Tim Keller) and quite a collection of books of the Bible. They pair well with the God’s Word for You series of general-level commentaries which are by the same authors.

Crossway’s Knowing the Bible series is based around 12-week studies and has now reached its full 45-volume length. The series was edited by J.I. Packer and Dane Ortlund and features a long list of authors that includes Jared Wilson, Greg Gilbert, Kathleen Nielson, Lydia Brownback, and Justin Holcomb.

The Let’s Study series by Banner of Truth has studies on quite a number of New Testament books written by authors such as Sinclair Ferguson, Derek Thomas, and Derek Prime.

Finally, Lydia Brownback has three new “Flourish Bible Study” volumes on Esther, Luke, and 1-2 Peter while Kathleen Nielson’s Living Word Bible Studies are available for 8 or 10 different books of the Bible.
As you can see, there is something here for everyone!

The Lord be with you and bless you today.

Eyes to the sky
Janie B. Cheaney: “I’m ashamed to admit it. I know the Bible is true, that all came to pass as it’s recorded, that Jesus Christ walked this earth and changed history forever, and that the Holy Spirit continues to act in my life and others’. Prayers of gratitude come easily when times are good, and prayers of petition when they aren’t. But ‘Come, Lord Jesus’ feels as remote a possibility as mountains melting and stars falling from the sky—because those events are on the schedule too.”
We’re Not in Kansas Anymore: Reflections on the passage of Bill C-4
Paul Carter covers a recently-passed and very concerning bill. “On Tuesday, December 7th the Canadian Senate passed Bill C-4, effectively banning the practice known as conversion therapy. The bill had been introduced to the House of Commons on November 29th and was approved on December 1st without further debate or study. It received Royal Assent today and will become the law of the land in 30 days.”
Does the Holy Spirit speak new words today?
Murray Campbell provides his perspective on a big question. “This view of the Spirit and God’s speech is one that ignores the Spirit’s own testimony through Scripture and it is one that often leads to all manner of pastoral issues. Indeed, when we have a dodgy doctrine of the Bible we shouldn’t be surprised if we take a wrong turn on all kinds of theological and ethical issues.”
The Stories Under the Ground (Part One)
This is a thoroughly enjoyable bit of writing from Central Asia. “The Chuy Valley tells a story of contrasts. On the floor of the valley, the land is flat and cultivated, made up of villages and farmland with occasional pockets of trees the color of gold in mid-October. The surrounding mountains are untamed, protruding whichever way they please. Up high, the paths on the foothills waver and crumble; the farther down you go, the more gridded they become.”
Best Jesus-y, Folky, Singer-songwriter-y, Worship-y, High Quality Music of 2021
This roundup may be of interest to those who are eager to find something new to listen to.
Insecurities, the Fear of People, Regrets, and Failure
Ed Welch: “We all have voices that tell us we are never enough. If we measure up in school, we don’t in sports or attractiveness or anything else. We always have voices, around us and in us, that assure us we are, indeed, substandard—or average, which feels just as bad.”
Flashback: Why God Delays in Answering Prayer
I was blessed to read this short article from Charles Spurgeon. He explains why God sometimes delays in answering prayer.

Satan cannot hold you, sin cannot enchain you, even despair cannot bind you if you will now believe in the Lord Jesus, in the freeness of His grace, and the fullness of His power to save. —Charles Spurgeon

Good morning. Grace and peace to you.

Westminster Books has a sale on the fledgling EBTC commentary series which has gotten off to a very strong start with volumes by James Hamilton, Thomas Schreiner, Andreas Köstenberger, and others. It’s great to begin collecting a series when it has only just begun!
(Yesterday on the blog: The Legend of the Battle-Weary Crusader)
My Christmas Gift Bought with a Child’s Heart
I love this one. “Suddenly shy, my six-year-old hesitated, a worried brow replaced his eagerness. His eyes lost some of their shiny dance. Grasped between small hands of offering, he stretched it toward me, then sat back on his haunches. Behind him, lights from the tree twinkled, a kaleidoscope halo of color. His eyes never left mine, and I recognized how desperately he desired to please me with his present. I saw bare longing in his wide broody dark blue eyes. I felt their desire.”
God’s Plan When Our Plans Fail
I think you’ll enjoy reading some thoughts from John Piper on how God’s plan proceeds even when our plans fail.
“Millions are Dying Without Christ”: Thinking Through a Popular But Insufficient Reason to Move Overseas
“There’s much to love about this impulse. … And yet, I try to remind my Christian friend that this fact by itself isn’t a sufficient motivation for someone to enter cross-cultural ministry. For at least two reasons.”
Finding a Church That Suits Our Every Need and Desire Is Not the Ultimate Purpose of Church
Benjamin Watson says, rightly, that “finding a church that suits my every need and desire is NOT the ultimate purpose of attending church. The primary purpose of church is gathering together in song, prayer, proclamation, and admonition to worship the Lord. Church is about Him, not me.”
A Great Way To Make Friends
Yes, it really can be this simple.
Comfort for Christian Parents of Unconverted Children
Jim Elliff: “All Christian parents wish that God would show us something to do to secure our child’s salvation, and then ‘we’ll do it with all our might’ because we love our child so much. Yet, God has not made salvation the effect of somebody else’s faith; our son or daughter must come to Christ on his or her own.”
Flashback: Momentary Obedience, Forever Honor
How do we show honor to our parents, especially when we are adults?

There are some of us old-fashioned Christians, who still believe that a loving God creates dark nights as well as bright noon-days; that he not only permits trouble, but sometimes sends troubles on his own children for their spiritual profit. —Theodore Cuyler

Somewhere, buried deep in the collected works of one of those old authors I love so well, I read the story—the legend perhaps—of a battle-weary crusader who had returned from the Holy Land. The years spent far from his home in England, and all the horrors he had witnessed in battle, had served to temper his character. He now longed for nothing more than to retire to his estates and to oversee his lands and holdings.

Terrible memories and horrifying dreams were not the only thing that returned with him, for he also carried a little leather pouch that was filled with seeds. As he had marched through the countryside outside Jerusalem, his eye had often alighted upon a beautiful white flower that covered the hills like a gentle blanket. He had eventually determined he would collect some of its seeds and carefully transport them home to see if they could grow in the vastly different climate of southern England.
And sure enough, the seeds proved hardy and quickly sprouted and grew. Year after year they responded to the first warm rays of the spring sun and brought forth their precious white blooms. Year after year they reminded the Crusader of a different place, a different time, a different country. Year after year they delighted his heart. They were a little bit of a distant land there in his homeland.
And though centuries have past, though the old knight has long since died and his estates given way to dust, you can still find those flowers growing in that very spot. If you visit the holdings that were once his, and especially if you visit in the first days of spring, you will find those flowers sprouting from the ground—still out of place but still growing and thriving, still displaying the beauty of a far-off country.
And just so, the words of Jesus are like seeds that have been transported from heaven and then planted in a land where they are most conspicuous for being out-of-place. Yet though they may be out-of-place, though this may not be their native land, still they have proven hardy—they have put down roots and begun to grow and to thrive. They have taken root inside you and me.
In that way, each of us who is in Christ is tending a little garden in which heavenly seeds have been planted and begun to thrive—seeds of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Each of us is responsible to tend that garden, to foster the growth of those precious seeds, and to watch with joy as they come to fuller and fuller bloom. Each of us has the joy and the sacred responsibility of displaying the beauty, the glory, of a foreign land here in this broken world.