I’ve got marriage on my mind today as we prepare to gather this evening to celebrate Abby and Nathan’s wedding. One little gift I have given them is a copy of J.R. Miller’s The Wedded Life, a sweet little book he wrote for just such an occasion. This particular copy was given to a couple in 1906 and contains the signatures of all those who attended their ceremony over a century ago. I love that it will be present in the early days of their marriage as well. Here’s just a small snippet of the wise counsel Miller offers in his book.

No marriage is complete, which does not unite and blend the wedded lives at every point. This can be secured only by making every interest common to both. Let both hearts throb with the same joy and share each pang of sorrow. Let the same burdens rest on the shoulders of both. Let the whole life be made common.
In another sense still, should their lives blend. They should read and study together, having the same line of thought, helping each other toward a higher mental culture.
They should worship together, praying side by side, communing on the holiest themes of life and hope, and together carrying to God’s feet the burdens of their hearts for their children and for every precious object. Why should they not talk together of their personal trials, their peculiar temptations, their infirmities, and help each other by sympathy, by brave word and by intercession, to be victorious in living?
Thus they should live one life as it were, not two. Every plan and hope of each should embrace the other. The moment a man begins to leave his wife out of any part of his life—or that she has plans, hopes, pleasures, friendships or experiences from which she excludes him—there is peril in the home. They should have no secrets which they keep from each other.
Thus their two lives should blend in one life with no thought, no desire, no feeling, no joy or sorrow, no pleasure or pain, unshared.

Good morning! Here’s a little collection of links that I thought you might enjoy.

There are a few Kindle deals you may want to look at.
(Yesterday on the blog: Laying Ambushes — A Family Update on a Special Weekend)
How does Reformed theology view the future of Israel compared to dispensationalism?
Obviously not everyone who reads this site will agree with the take presented in this video from Ligonier Ministries. Yet it’s a good explanation of how Reformed folk have traditionally understand the future of Israel.
5 Ways Pastors Can Care for Those Struggling with Sexual Identity
“It’s easy to talk about LGBTQ+ stuff in the abstract. It’s hard for a pastor to sit in his study and look somebody in the eye, while being engaged, and talk to somebody for whom this is their agonizing struggle.” This is very true.
Your Money Will Trick You
Trevin Wax: “Jesus says ‘Watch out!’ and ‘Be on guard’ as if there’s a silent, stealthy enemy creeping up on an unsuspecting person, ready to pounce. We like to think of wealth and possessions as inanimate objects, helpful to us if we use them correctly, but basically neutral. And so, in our churches, we warn against the abuse or misuse of wealth, and we teach on good stewardship so we can maximize and increase our wealth. But rarely do we sound the alarming note of Jesus and the apostles in this matter.”
A Biblical Case for Surrogacy?
Is there a biblical case to be made for surrogacy? This article says there is not.
Two Temptations for the Post-Covid Church
“After two years of the coronavirus, Christians are facing two temptations in relationship to the body of Christ. You might experience one or even both of these tendancies in your own life. I call them ‘a failure of heart’ and ‘a failure of nerve.’”
Suffering Is No Accident
Randy Alcorn reflects on the fact that suffering, while still very difficult, is never an accident.
Flashback: Satisfaction at the Cost of Obedience
Temptation is not a kidnapper who drags you into his van kicking and screaming and takes you where you don’t want to go. You climb in all on your own! You are a willing participant in your own kidnapping, in your own temptation.

Through the grace shown to us in the gospel, there is something distinctly Christlike about a mother’s love for her child. —Gloria Furman

This week’s Free Stuff Friday is sponsored by Christian Focus.  They are giving away five-book sets of Tell God How You Feel: Helping Kids with Hard Emotions and God Hears Your Heart: Helping Kids Pray about Hard Emotions by Christina Fox.

As emotional beings, we all have feelings. And in a fallen world, some of those feelings are difficult. Fear. Grief. Sadness. Disappointment. Guilt. Loneliness. Anger. We learn from an early age ways to navigate such hard emotions. For some of us, we learn to avoid or distract ourselves from painful emotions. Others “feed” our emotions through various temporary pleasures in the hopes of finding comfort. Still, others may cover them up and pretend they don’t exist. Yet the Bible teaches us another way: to bring all our hurts to God.
Tell God How You Feel and God Hears Your Heart are part of a discipleship series designed for parents and caregivers to use in engaging their children with their emotions. It helps parents teach their children to bring their emotions to God and tell him what hurts. It teaches them Biblical lament.
In these books, children are invited into the lives of brother and sister, Josh and Mia. They watch as these siblings experience hard emotions in life and learn to bring their cares to the Lord in prayer.
Tell God How You Feel covers emotions including fear, sadness, loneliness, and rejection. God Hears Your Heart explores anger, disappointment, guilt, and failure. Each story ends with discussion questions for parents and caregivers to use in helping their children apply the stories to their own emotions.
Help your children develop the godly habit of lament by reading them Tell God How You Feel and God Hears Your Heart.
What people are saying about the series:
“Children are often unsure about what to do with their emotions. Whether they are feeling happy or sad, peaceful or anxious, angry or joyful, they can learn healthy ways to share their emotions with God.  Christina Fox’s new book, Tell God How You Feel is a wonderful book to help parents and children discuss their feelings, as they consider the ways people have prayerfully talked to God all throughout Scripture, especially in the Psalms. This book is a wonderful way to talk with your children as you help them learn to talk to God.”
–Melissa B. Kruger (author and director of Women’s Initiatives for The Gospel Coalition)
“Tell God How You Feel is unique and badly needed. Many children’s books deal well with particular emotions, but no book I’ve ever seen gives children such a clear, concrete, relatable framework for dealing with any and all emotions by engaging their Heavenly Father with the weights and dreams in their hearts. Illustrated in an ethnically inclusive, warmly inviting style, Tell God how You Feel fills a vital niche in nurturing a living faith in our children.”
— Alasdair Groves (Executive Director of CCEF)
“If emotions are complex for adults (AKA, me!) to understand and respond to appropriately, how much more for children? This is why I’m so glad Christina has given us a helpful tool for guiding our kids through emotions like disappointment, anger, and failure. Best of all, she roots each lesson in biblical truth, particularly in the psalms which give voice to our hearts. I recommend this book to you!”
— Kristen Wetherell (Author of ‘Humble Moms’, ‘Fight Your Fears’ and co–author of ‘Hope When It Hurts’)
Enter Here
Again, there are five sets to win. And all you need to do to enter the draw is to drop your name and email address in the form below,  which will add you to Christian Focus’ mailing list.
Giveaway Rules: You may enter one time. Winners will be notified by email. The giveaway closes on May 31st at midnight.

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Like so many Canadian boys of his era, Nick went through a pretty significant Nerf Gun phase when he was 8 or 10 years old. Between several birthdays and Christmases he built up quite an arsenal and, for a time, most of his play would in some way involve these guns. There was one game he especially enjoyed. When he found out that guests were on their way over, he would hide outside and watch for their approach. When they walked down the pathway leading to our home, he would pop out of his hiding spot and unleash a fusillade of foam bullets. He loved nothing more than a successful ambush. And though his guns are no longer in his hands and he is no longer in our home, he still sets ambushes, though only inadvertently.

The unbearably sharp pain of those earliest days and months has over time given way to something that is perhaps closer to a dull ache. The loss still hurts, but not quite as badly as it once did. I still cry, but not every day. The path is still hard, but not as hard as it was months or even weeks ago. If time does not heal all wounds, it does, at least, soothe them.
One of the ways the pain has become more bearable is simply by having Nick less on my mind now than in the early days. As I get on with a life that has begun to feel like a new kind of normal, I associate him more with the past than with the present or immediate future. My love for him is undiminished, of course, as is my longing to see him. But he is not as constant a presence in my mind now as he was before. I still think about him every day, but no longer every moment.
But there are still times when he ambushes me, when a situation arises in which I’m once again forced to confront my loss head-on. And this, as it happens, is one of them. We are in Louisville, Kentucky this weekend for two significant events. Today we will attend the ceremony in which Nick’s fiancée Ryn and a number of his friends will graduate. On Sunday we will celebrate Abby’s wedding. We anticipate that it will be a weekend of great rejoicing.
Yet behind the joy we know there will also be some sorrow. After all, this would have been Nick’s graduation as well. Though he had enrolled in a program in which he would complete both his undergraduate degree and his Masters of Divinity in five years, he was scary smart and very hard-working and was on track to complete it all in only four. And so this is the day he would have graduated twice over, once from Boyce College and once from Southern Seminary. This is the day he would have finished up one phase of his life to begin another—to finish up his studies and begin his ministry. Yet, in God’s providence, his name will go uncalled in the long roll of young men and women who step up to receive their diplomas, who throw their caps into the air to celebrate the end of one phase of their lives and the beginning of another.
As soon as the graduation ceremony is over, we will change our focus to Abby and Nathan’s big day. We know, of course, that Nick will be conspicuous by his absence in the wedding party, in the family photographs, and in the speeches. He, after all, was Abby’s close confidant and dear friend and would have had a prominent place at the wedding. He, after all, was immeasurably precious to each of us. Yet, in God’s providence, he has joined into a different kind of celebration and has taken his place at a different kind of feast.
But whether in graduation ceremonies or wedding celebrations, we intend to rejoice rather than weep, to celebrate rather than lament, to look forward rather than back. We believe that God calls us to enjoy his good gifts, even when our hearts have been broken. And we can do this, for one of the paradoxes of life in this world is that in our deepest sorrows we are never without joy and in our highest joys we are never without sorrows. We learn that there are times to rejoice with those who rejoice and times to weep with those who weep—and that we have no right to demand that the rejoicing weep or that the weeping rejoice. There is “a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
And so this a weekend of laughing, not weeping, of dancing, not mourning. There may be some ambushes along the way and the tears that come with them, and that’s just fine. But we are certain that the joy of these days will be far more prominent than the sorrow. We are certain that God means for us to embrace and enjoy the pleasures he has provided, to celebrate what actually is rather than to lament what could have been. For each of these celebrations in its own way points us forward to a future in which there will be no pain left to lament. Each of life’s pleasures in its own way gestures us toward a time in which there will be no sorrow left to grieve. Each of God’s blessings calls us to rejoice. And by his grace we will.
(Here’s a precious picture that was taken just a couple of days before Nick died. Nick and Ryn had recently gotten engaged while Abby and Nate had recently begun dating. It was Abby’s birthday, so they all went out for dinner together. I’m so thankful they thought to ask the waiter to snap a photo.)

May the Lord be with you and bless you today.

I have only found one Kindle deals so far today, but it’s a good one at least.
Why Pro-Abortion Activists Desecrate Churches
Carl Trueman: “The church service is not simply a convenient place to intimidate pro-life campaigners. To attack a worship service is not simply to annoy the participants. It is to profane the sacred. It is to enact that which abortion itself represents. It is to spit on the very identity of those worshipping and thus upon the God whom they worship. It is to strike at the very heart of what Christians believe it means to be human, a dependent creature in the presence of a holy God.”
Why I got out of Twitter
Ray Ortlund’s reasons for leaving Twitter sound a lot like my own.
Screaming in the Face of Death
“It is difficult to tell if the countenance is grinning, scowling, or yawning open with insatiable hunger, but it seems that Death’s face is closer than usual as it stares out from the inky shadows at the edges of life. Death feels more present than usual right now.” It really does, doesn’t it?
A Conveyor Belt
“Jesus wants you to do the next thing in your walk with him. The next act of repentance, the next act of forgiveness, crush the next idol, love the next person above yourself, refuse the next temptation, tear down the next boundary. And he wants you to do nothing else.” That’s worth pondering.
Fertility Is Not A Disease
“Sexual pleasure has become the god of our culture to which all other gods must bow. One of its contenders is reproduction itself. We must separate the pleasure of sex from reproduction and fertility, or there can be no sexual freedom. ‘My body, my choice’ is the battle cry of a generation who, whether they realize it or not, are rebelling against their natural design. Nature, not the patriarchy, is what our culture hates most.”
DJ Mattson’s Senior Testimony at The Master’s Seminary
This is quite something. “Twelve days after giving his testimony, DJ graduated. He walked across the platform, received his diploma, moved his tassel from the left to right side of his cap, descended the stairs, and died.”
Flashback: The Joy of Self-Discipline
When we associate discipline only with avoidance of negative outcomes we rob ourselves of a means God uses to promote our joy and ultimately our joy in him. Where would God have you develop a discipline for your joy?

As sure as ever God puts his children in the furnace, he will be in the furnace with them. —Charles Spurgeon

Good morning! Grace and peace to you.

(Yesterday on the blog: Keys To Knowing God’s Will for Your Life)
Still
Chris Thomas: “Stillness can be elusive; a mirage of anticipation that beckons yet fails to deliver. I’ve searched for it, grasped at it, despaired at it, and been surprised by it. Sometimes I’ve forgotten it. But then, like an old friend unseen for a decade or more, stillness creeps up on me in some hidden place and embraces me as though it had been only yesterday that we had said goodbye. Such is the way of stillness.”
The Relentlessness of God’s Grace
“I’m amazed — stunned, actually — at the relentlessness of God’s grace.” Darryl Dash explains why.
The ten minutes after church ends
This is a good challenge. “There’s nothing wrong with being a creature of habit, but many of us have the same routine at the end of a church service as we do at the conclusion of a sporting event or any other public gathering. We gather our belongings, utter some niceties, and shuffle toward the exits. That’s a problem. More specifically, it’s a bad habit.”
What Does it Mean to Examine Yourself Before Taking Communion?
David Kaywood explains how to examine yourself before taking communion. “It’s widely known among Christians that communion should be taken seriously. But sometimes I wonder if God’s people feel an unhealthy amount of angst when coming to the Lord’s table.”
What does it mean to ‘not associate with’ an unrepentant person?
Meanwhile, Stephen Kneale considers the unrepentant person Jesus speaks of and asks, “What does Jesus mean by this? How are we supposed to treat such an unrepentant person like a tax collector or Gentile?”
A Happy Beginning
Seth Lewis reflects on an anniversary and says, “in real life, a wedding is not the end of the story. It’s the beginning of a new chapter, one that could easily be longer and more complex than anything that came before it.”
Flashback: Post the Strongest Soldiers at the Weakest Gate
When we know where the enemy is likely to attack, when we know where our defenses are weakest, we can prepare ourselves for the inevitable onslaught.

My security as a Christian does not reside in the strength of my faith but in the indestructibility of my Savior. —Sinclair Ferguson

Of all the issues related to Christian living, few receive greater attention than knowing God’s will for our lives. Many believers, and especially younger ones, agonize over knowing what God means for them to do and how he means for them to live out their days. Many end up leaning toward a low-grade form of mysticism, longing to receive some kind of a sign from the skies or some kind of a word in their hearts. Many live with hesitation, wondering if they have missed their divine direction and are now experiencing God’s second best. Some end up doing nearly nothing for fear of doing the wrong thing.

But it’s my conviction that many people think wrongly about this matter of knowing God’s will. It’s not that God has no plan for you. It’s not that he means for you to go without any kind of confidence that you are living a life that honors and pleases him. Rather, it’s that God does not mean for you to pry back the curtain of his hidden will. Instead, God means for you to respond to the leading of his revealed will. Generally speaking, where Scripture, providence, and desire converge you can move forward confident that you are doing God’s will. If there are multiple options that exist at that point of convergence, you can confidently choose any of them and trust that God will bless you.
There is another key to knowing and doing the will of God and it’s this: your greatest focus should always be on whatever is plainly his will right now. Better than focusing on what God may have for you a year or a decade in the future is doing what God has provided for you today. For while God’s will for the future may be difficult or impossible to determine, his will for the present is usually not.
Though you may labor in prayer over whether God means for you to marry, what’s clear right now is that he means for you to take full advantage of the opportunities and responsibilities that come with singleness.
Though you may be praying earnestly to know what career God has in mind for you, what’s clear right now is that he means for you to apply yourself to your studies.
Though you may be grappling with whether you should go to seminary, what’s clear right now is that God means for you to grow in godly character and to express it within the local church.
We dishonor God when we focus on tomorrow’s faithfulness at the expense of today’s.
We can get more granular still. You’ve heard it said, I’m sure, that everybody wants to change the world but no one wants to wash the dishes. We tend to focus on the big matters to the neglect of the small. Yet life is lived in the moment and in the minutiae. God’s will is as granular as expressing love by telling your mother “Let me do the dishes tonight” or expressing humility by approaching a friend to say, “I need to apologize to you.” It’s in going the extra mile to serve a cranky customer, in approaching that person who is alone at the end of the church service, in sharing the gospel with a stranger in that moment when you absolutely know it’s the right thing to do. It’s as you learn to embrace God’s will in the small stuff that you are preparing yourself to do it in the big.
The fact is that life is a succession of days and days are a succession of moments. While you may not have utter clarity about what God means for you to do in a month, year, or decade, it’s rarely difficult to discern what God means for you to do right now. The man who is faithful to honor God in each moment cannot possibly be said to have wasted his life and the woman who seeks to do what God has made plain in a day will never be said to have lived without meaning. If you live each moment in obedience you will live each day in obedience, and if you live each day in obedience you will in time live your entire life in obedience. If you are faithful to do God’s will in each moment you’ll eventually do God’s will in a lifetime. And God will be well pleased.

May the Lord bless and keep you on this fine day.

This week’s deal from Westminster Books is on a collection of books for kids.
There are a few new Kindle deals to look at today.
Why Mainstream Scholars often Differ with Evangelical Pastors on the Gospels
“Why is it that if you read what Wikipedia says about the date and authorship of the Gospels, it is very different from the way most pastors in evangelical churches and most ordinary Christians talk about the Gospels?” George Sinclair takes a shot at an answer here.
Cultivating an Affectionate Marriage
“I am no expert on marriage. But I have been married long enough to experience those times when coldness creeps in and distance grows. The simplest lesson that the Lord has taught us is the importance of time spent together. Taking time to stop, look each other in the face, and really talk, has proven crucial.”
How to Partner with African Churches Well
“How should Western churches partner with churches in Africa?” I found Ken Mbugua’s answers very helpful.
Two letters and a cute dog photo …
Whether you attend a small group or lead one, these two letters may prove useful to you. And challenging.
The curse of being “Decent But Dull”
“The biggest curse in leadership – whether that’s private, civil or in church, is to be decent, but dull.” Well, not really, but that seems to be a message we come across quite often.
The First Commentator to Plead His Case
This is a good little article about the importance of consulting more than one commentary in preparing a sermon or study.
Flashback: A Secret Way to Kick-Start Your Theological Library
I’ve got a secret to share with you that will help kick-start any theological library: You can build an electronic library of excellent theological journals and magazines without spending a dime.

In the Old Testament, Jesus Christ is latent; in the New, He is patent. In the Old, the reference to Him is implicit; in the New, it is explicit. In the Old, we have foresight; in the New, insight. —F.B. Meyer

Here’s your occasional reminder that all the quote graphics I share day-by-day are available and nicely categorized at SquareQuotes. They’re free to download, print, etc.

(Yesterday on the blog: The Parable of the Acorn)
What Makes a “Strong Woman” Strong?
Rebekah Matt: “‘Strong woman’ is a phrase heard often these days, and because I admire both words and women, I’ve been paying attention. It’s used in politics, on campuses, in the media, and even by little girls who know at a very early age to describe themselves as ‘strong.’ It’s made me think about what strong actually means—what is the implication when people say ‘strong woman’?”
Success is Dangerous
Jared Wilson says that “when we are made little, we can find ourselves in the heart of John the Baptist’s prayer, that Jesus would increase and we would decrease. It’s not the ideal place to be in terms of our dreams and ambitions, but relying totally on God’s sovereignty is right where God wants us. It’s not a call to passivity or to excuse-making. But even the most diligent of workers can say that God has called him to be faithful, not successful.”
We don’t need to rescue biblical characters from themselves
This is a helpful reminder and encouragement. “The Bible is not a book full of heroes. It is notable just how many of its so-called heroes are, actually, a bit rubbish. And few books encapsulate the abject uselessness of God’s people – and even more so God’s leaders – than the book of Judges. A book dedicated to the bluntest of blunt tools that the Lord chose to use for his own glory. A glory that is all the greater because of the tools he chose to use.”
The Freebie Round-Up
It has been a while since I’ve linked to one of Nitoy Gonzales’ “Freebie Round-ups.” He does a great job of scouring the [Christian] internet for helpful free resources.
When Culverts Buckle
“As the spring thaw begins on the Canadian prairies, the still frozen ground merely acts as a platform over which the water flows, unable to absorb much of the moisture yet.” Amber Thiessen goes on to draw a lesson from this.
You’re Never Praying Alone
It’s very comforting to know that we never truly pray alone—even when we think we’re praying alone.
Flashback: We Have the Light So We Can Be the Light
We are the light to the sons of darkness who cannot see the way to salvation, but also to our fellow sons of light who know the way but whose hearts have grown heavy, whose feet have become weary, who have been waylaid on their journey.

God sometimes washes the eyes of his children with tears that they may read aright his providence and his commandments. —Theodore Cuyler

Today’s post is written by Christina Fox and sponsored by Christian Focus. Christina’s new book, God Hears Your Heart follows on from Tell God How You Feel (2021) and encourages children to bring all their feelings to God. Learn more and get both books here.

“Mommy, I’m scared!”
When he was young, my son would seek me out during every thunderstorm. He’d arrive at my side, a favorite blanket wrapped around his head, his body trembling in fear. It didn’t help that we lived in Florida where every summer afternoon the sky lit up and the windows shook so hard, you’d think they would break.
I prayed with him and taught him how the psalmist responded to his own fears by telling God how he felt, asking God to help him, and trusting in the character of God. In doing so, I began to teach him how to lament.
“In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me” (Psalm 86:7).
We were created as emotional beings; we all have feelings—our children included. While we rightly spend time teaching our children the truths of who God is and what he has done, we don’t often teach our children how to navigate their emotions. We might instruct them not to sin in their emotional responses but are less likely to help them learn what to do when they feel big things.
My children’s book series, Tell God How You Feel and God Hears Your Heart are discipleship tools for parents to use to help guide their children in learning what to do with the hard emotions of life. In these stories, brother and sister Josh and Mia face difficult emotions such as fear, sadness, anger, and failure, and learn to bring their emotions to God in prayer. They learn the art of lament.
In reading these stories to their children, parents are encouraged to have conversations with their children about their feelings and teach them the habit of crying out to God in prayer. Each story in the books covers a particular emotion and the end of each story includes questions for parents to discuss with their children.
Children learn at an early age how to respond to the hard emotions of life. For some, they might learn to distract themselves from those emotions. Others might develop habits of comforting themselves with a temporary pleasure. Still others might push those emotions down, only to have them erupt later. By teaching our children the way of lament—of bringing emotions to the Lord in prayer and seeking his help—our children are equipped to respond to their big feelings in a God honoring way. They learn to see God as their rock, their refuge, and their deliverer in all their troubles. They learn that God is a Father who hears their cries, collect their tears in a bottle, and is their only source of help and salvation.
“In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears” (Psalm 18:6).
Do you have children with big feelings? Consider reading the stories of Josh and Mia with them today.