There are few churches that have no members who bear painful scars related to domestic abuse. There are few churches where pastors and members are not at times called upon to respond well and wisely to troubling allegations and sorrowful situations. In their book When Home Hurts, Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson provide guidance for such times and, as they do so, explain why domestic abuse is so very evil. I, for one, found it very helpful.

“Abuse occurs,” they say, “as a person in a position of greater influence uses his personal capacities to diminish the personal capacities of those under his influence in order to control them.” Physical and spiritual capacities meant to be used to love and build up are used instead to harm and tear down. Thus abuse is identified in two different directions: in the manipulative intent and behavioral forcefulness of the one in a position of influence, and in the diminishing effect on those under his influence. With that in mind, here are five ways in which abuse does particular damage and brings about grievous harm.
Abuse desecrates the personhood of the one being abused. God created each person in his image so we could represent him in the world he made. Every person is privileged by God to use his or her personal capacities to represent God by bringing order and goodness to the world. Where all sin is a failure to be like God in using these personal capacities, abuse goes a step further by diminishing the personal capacities of another person. “An abusive person uses his personal capacities to force other people to deliver on his personal desires. The force he exerts inflicts damage—that is, the effect of weakening someone to make them easier to control.” That damage is what we call trauma, and it has pernicious and long-lasting effects on those who have been victimized.
Abuse is a dangerous reversal of love. God gives us personal strength, but not so we can use it to control others. Rather, God designed us in his image with certain God-like faculties so we could commit them to the purpose of love. “Love is using one’s personal capacities to bring about good for others in the world—ordering it, caring for it, arranging it to bring about the greatest benefit not to oneself, but to other people.” But an abusive person dangerously reverses this design by using his God-like capacities to overpower those faculties in another person, so he can get what he wants. “Instead of using his powers to arrange the world to God’s glory, he uses his powers to arrange the world for his own.”
Abuse is a form of oppression. God hates oppression and expects that we will hate what he hates. So often in Scripture we see God responding to the cries of those who have been oppressed and in like manner we ought to respond to their cries. When God delivers us from the oppression of sin he calls us to oppose sin in our own lives, sin in the church, and sin in the world. In other words, “we begin to respond as God does when we see sin, including the sin of human oppression. God sees the oppressed, hears their cries, and acts with compassion, mercy, and justice. He tells us we should do the same.”
Abuse warps the purpose of marriage. The reversal of love that comes part and parcel with abuse is particularly dangerous in marriage because of marriage’s unique design. God calls a husband to use his unique and complementary strengths to build up his wife. “God intends a man to take the initiative in spending his efforts for the good of his wife. Her good is to be formed not into the image of her husband’s preferences, but rather into what God determines for her individual calling to look like Jesus Christ.” But abuse takes what can be used so powerfully for good and uses it for evil. “When a husband leads by using his capacities for the opposite purpose, for belittling his wife, he harms her in particularly destructive ways. And God holds him to stricter account. What makes domestic abuse a particularly cruel form of violence is that the home is supposed to be the place where personhood blossoms into its greatest potential. When home hurts, the world suffers.” (Of course there are occasions in which a wife is the perpetrator rather than victim of domestic abuse, but those are very rare compared to the opposite.)
Abuse corrupts the witness of church. In God’s design, families are not fully independent and self-contained units, but are accountable to a wider community—to the church. A family that hides and insulates itself from community influence puts its members at greater risk. And in situations of domestic abuse, the family often does that very thing—it insulates itself from the oversight and accountability of the local church. “God made the church to be the Spirit-indwelled people of the Word who are together learning to love what God loves and to hate what God hates. The beliefs and values conveyed in the pages of Scripture find their embodiment in living people. Jesus wanted the church to be the one type of community in all the world that demonstrates authority as self-emptying service for the good of those under it. In the church, greatness is demonstrated in servanthood.” But when abuse is present or, worse, tolerated, the church is denying God’s perspective and hindering victims of abuse from finding their bearings. To the contrary, When abuse is foreign and outrageous to God’s people, the church is reinforcing God’s perspective and assisting victims in gaining their bearings and healing their hearts.
You can learn more about domestic abuse, what it involves, and how you can help those suffering from it in When Home Hurts.

Every Christian parent prays that God would extend his saving grace from one generation to the next (and, of course, to the ones after that). Every Christian prays, then, that they would see the Lord save their precious children. This was on George Swinnock’s mind when he prayed this lovely prayer many centuries ago. May it give you words to pray to the Lord as you consider God’s mercy toward the children the Lord has given you.

Father of spirits, I pray for my children.
Manifest your grace and goodness and wash them in the fountain opened for sin.
As they bear the image of the first Adam, cause them to bear the image of the second Adam.
Let your grace be their beauty and the eternal weight of glory their portion.
Cause them to hear your voice and live.
Dear Redeemer, you said, “Let the little children come to me.” I bring them now to you; do not reject them. I present them to you in the trembling arms of my weak faith. Oh, lay your hands on them and bless them.
Blessed Jesus, you know the pollution of their natures, the difficulty of their conversions, and the boundless wrath to which they are liable.
Let your compassion yearn towards them, and your Spirit so accompany their instruction that in them you may see the suffering of your soul and be satisfied.
And I pray that I may walk in the path of your precepts for the sake of those that follow me.
May I be so pious in my words and works, so gracious in all my dealings and duties, that religion may be written fair through my conduct, and my children may with comfort follow my example.
Lord, while others turn off the highway of holiness, let me, like the pillar of fire, go before my family to the land of promise, and shine as a true light to direct them in the way to everlasting life.
I pray that as a parent of my children I may conduct myself as a child of my God.
Lord, my sons are your sons and my daughters are your daughters.
Let your power prosper my labors while they are young, so that they may be prepared for that noble work which you plan for them in the other world.
And when you send your servants to fetch them home, may they be conveyed by holy angels to your side, where I and the children whom you have given me shall love, and live, and rejoice with you for ever.

As you know, I like to do my best to sort through the new Christian books that are released each month to see what stands out as being not only new, but also particularly notable. I received quite a number of books in January and narrowed the list down to the ones below. I have included the editorial description for each. I hope there’s something here that catches your eye!

Mothering Against Futility: Balancing Meaning and Mundanity in the Fear of the Lord by Simona Gorton. “Simona Gorton calls women to embrace the God–glorifying tension between the seemingly meaningless work and the weighty responsibility of motherhood. We know the gospel impacts the repetitive, mundane work so inherent in homemaking and mothering, but how does that knowledge work itself out in the fabric of late nights and spilled oatmeal? As mothers, we live in the tension between the seemingly meaningless ‘everyday’ of our callings and the magnificent realities of the gospel and what God promises to do through us as mothers as we raise up the next generation to His glory. This book was written to showcase how God uniquely uses the ‘vanity’ inherent in the work of motherhood to display the beauties of the gospel in and through us as we fix our eyes on its truth.” (Buy it at Amazon)

Joyful Outsiders: Six Ways to Live Like Jesus in a Disorienting Culture by Patrick Miller & Keith Simon. “You probably feel more like an outsider in our culture today than you did ten years ago. If that’s the case, you’re not alone. The question is, what kind of outsider will you become? Will you become a combative outsider and rage against your enemies? Will you become a conformist outsider and mirror the world around you? Will you become a conflict-averse outsider and avoid confrontation at all costs? Jesus has so much for you. He’s called you to be a joyful outsider like him. He was crucified as an outcast outside the city. Now he welcomes you to join him; to die to yourself and discover that sacrificial love has the power to change the world. In Joyful Outsiders, pastors Patrick Miller and Keith Simon will train you how to be a joyful outsider by laying out six ways to navigate a confusing culture at home, at work, and beyond. They draw on the examples of biblical characters to introduce six types of joyful outsiders: the artist, the protestor, the builder, the advisor, the ambassador, and the trainer.” (Buy it at Amazon)

Meet Me in the Bible series by Colleen Searcy. “Meet Me in the Bible” is a series of 8-week Bible studies by Colleen Searcy. The series is launching with 2 volumes now and 2 more becoming available in May. The initial volumes cover Colossians & Philemon and The Story of Abraham. Every volume in the series offers: a simple 5-step framework for studying any book of the Bible, individually or in a group; a bookmark, ample space for note-taking, discussion questions, and helpful appendixes for further study; an inductive approach to studying Scripture; a unique combination of Scripture Journal and Bible Reading Guide; and spiral-bound pages that lie flat to make reading and writing more comfortable. (Buy them at Amazon)

How to Teach Kids Theology: Deep Truths for Growing Faith by Sam Luce & Hunter Williams. “What comes to mind when you think about teaching theological truths to children? Glazed eyes? Over-their-head discussions? Theology doesn’t have to be ‘too deep for kids.’ For kids to stand firm in a culture that suppresses the truth of Christianity, we need to give them a grand view of God that overwhelms their hearts and fills them with wonder. A child’s faith is only as strong as the God they believe in. For their faith to be great, they need to learn about their great God. In each chapter, the authors diagnose problems that hinder leaders from teaching kids theology, explain principles to combat these problems, and suggest practices for applying these principles to your ministry.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Every Believer Confident: Apologetics for the Ordinary Christian by Mark Farnham. “Do you want to defend your faith but aren’t sure where to begin? Mark Farnham’s accessible guidebook simplifies apologetics and empowers Christians to effectively present the gospel in all its glory and rationality. This new edition includes practice case studies, chapter review questions, and a new chapter on engaging in gospel conversations over the long term.” Fred Zaspel says of it: “Marvelously clear, practical, and emboldening. Excellent guidance for anyone who seeks to be more faithful and effective in gospel advance.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

The Unvarnished Jesus: The Beauty of Christ and His Ugly Rivals by Samuel G. Parkison. “Samuel G. Parkison makes a startling claim: Jesus is the most beautiful man to ever exist. His defence is theoretical and experiential: he knows him to be ultimate beauty and he has experienced him to be so. Deconstructing cultural notions that beauty is subjective or sentimental, Parkison constructs an impressive picture of God’s breathtaking beauty. On this firm foundation, the only building to rise is one that testifies to Jesus, the God–man, as the most beautiful man that ever lived.” (Buy it at Amazon)

The Psalms: Rejoice, the Lord Is King, Volume 2, Psalms 42 to 106 by James A. Johnston (Preaching the Word Commentary). This is now the second volume of a 3-volume set covering all 150 psalms. “The Psalms is one of the most widely loved books of the Bible. A source of instruction for our prayers, inspiration for our songs, and consolation for our tears, these biblical poems resound with the whole spectrum of human emotion and teach us to hope in God each and every day. In the second volume of a 3-part commentary on the Psalms, pastor James Johnston walks readers through chapters 42–106, offering exegetical and pastoral insights along the way. Edited by R. Kent Hughes, the Preaching the Word expository series is an essential resource for anyone interested in studying, teaching, or preaching the Bible.” (Buy it at Amazon)

The Complete Gathered Gold: A Treasury of Quotations for Christians by John Blanchard. “Throughout his more than sixty years of ministry, John Blanchard, author of Ultimate Questions and Does God Believe in Atheists?, learned from hundreds of Christian men and women. The Complete Gathered Gold collects more than fifteen thousand of his favorite quotations on over six hundred subjects. Christians can find nuggets of wisdom on every topic, from ‘adoption’ to ‘zeal.’ The Complete Gathered Gold is sure to be a treasure trove for preachers, teachers, and everyday believers whenever they want to read a gem of truth.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Happy Lies: How a Movement You (Probably) Never Heard Of Shaped Our Self-Obsessed World by Melissa Dougherty. “Have you ever wondered how we ended up in a world where personal feelings could become the authority for reality? Or why so many of us are on a relentless pursuit for happiness yet somehow feel more exhausted and sadder than ever? You’re not alone. Melissa deftly traces the roots of today’s social chaos back to a little-known (but very influential) 1800s philosophy known as New Thought. A former follower of its teachings, Melissa provides clarity and compassion mixed with a dash of loving snark as she exposes New Thought’s deceptions and its many concerning tendrils within the church and our ‘self-help’ culture. You’ll be shocked, grieved, and encouraged as you learn: How you can experience true freedom, hope, and peace instead of the world’s counterfeits; How an anti-God ideology so easily hijacked Christian-sounding ideas; Why thinking positively is entirely different from the unbiblical and burdensome ‘positive thought’ movement; How understanding the New Thought mindset can help us share our faith more effectively; and much more.” (Buy it at Amazon)

The Appearing of God Our Savior: A Theology of 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus by Claire Smith. “The letters of 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus were written by Paul to trusted coworkers toward the end of his apostolic ministry. As Paul’s delegates, they were to teach and defend the truth, model godly living, and ensure that godly church leadership was in place. But these letters are more than just a how-to guide for ministry. In this volume of the New Testament Theology series, Claire Smith explores the central themes and theology of each letter, which consistently focus on God’s eternal plan in Christ to save a people for himself. Emphasizing that we live between the two appearings of Christ Jesus in history, Smith encourages readers to live in this present time as God’s household (1 Timothy), how to endure suffering as believers (2 Timothy), and how to live in an unbelieving world (Titus).” (Buy it at Amazon)

The Quiet Time Kickstart: Six Weeks to a Healthy Bible Habit by Rachel Jones. “Kickstart your quiet time and discover the joy of spending time with God in his word. Beginning with short, simple 5-minute devotions that are easy to make time for, this little guide will kickstart a daily Bible-reading routine. It’s ideal for anyone new to reading the Bible or anyone struggling to spend regular time in God’s word. The devotions gradually increase in length over the course of six weeks and offer focused guidance on understanding the Bible. So by the time you finish, you’ll have the skills and confidence you need to read and enjoy Scripture for yourself—and make your quiet time a habit for life.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)

Our Daily Food: Or Portions for the Lord’s Household by James Smith. “James Smith was a prolific writer, and his daily readings and devotionals in particular were highly esteemed and hugely popular. ‘My object,’ said our author, ‘is to lead the mind from self–to Jesus; from sin—to salvation; from the troubles of life—to the comforts of the gospel. My aim is to humble the sinner—and exalt the Saviour; to strip the creature—and place the crown on the head of God’s free grace! I cannot ascribe too much to Jesus—or too little to man!’ Some daily devotionals are longer, and demand a fair amount of time. Some are briefer, and take a few moments to read over. These golden nuggets of truth will take only a moment to consider, but will give you matter for a day’s consideration and comfort.” (Buy it at Amazon)

Our Great Redeemer: 365 Days with J. C. Ryle by Bryan Schrank (editor). This one actually released at the end of 2024 but I missed it until now. You couldn’t go wrong spending a year with Ryle! “J. C. Ryle knew that there was only one way to prepare for Christ’s return: to know Him as Our Great Redeemer. This compilation of 365 powerful readings from Ryle’s preaching and writing is rich with the grace, truth, and conviction that defined Jesus’s ministry. Spend this year meditating on the glory of Christ with one of the great evangelical leaders of the nineteenth century in this new devotional.” (Buy it at Amazon or Westminster Books)