There are not many “pure” celebrations in this world, not many occasions in which we are only festive, only rejoicing, only merry. Especially as our lives go on, especially as the years and decades pass, we accumulate more to mourn, more to grieve, more to lament. Eventually every joy is tempered by at least some measure of grief, every new pleasure wistful about some memory of pain. Few celebrate their 40th birthday with the abandon of their 10th, their 50th anniversary with the unadulterated joy of their 1st. Though life brings many pleasures, it also brings many pains.

As the holidays draw near, many feel sorrow approaching in lockstep with joy. The same storm that brings much-needed rain to the fields also threatens to wash out the picnic and the parade. And just so, as the Christmas season comes, many feel the rush that comes with giving gifts and enjoying feasts and marking celebrations, but at the same time the ache that comes when they hang fewer stockings than in years past, when they set fewer places round the table, when they see a face missing from the family photographs. Though they truly do celebrate, there is bitter mixed with their sweet, dark shadows that temper their light.
They may find themselves wishing that God would take their pain away, that at least on the days of great celebration they would be able to experience a joy that is pure and unadulterated, untouched by the presence of sorrow. Just for a day, couldn’t they have pleasure without pain, smiles without tears, new memories without the encroachment of old ones?
But to take their grief away, God would need to take their love away, for love and grief are like the daffodils of early spring in which two flowers bloom from a single stem. There is no grief where there has not been love and no love that comes without risk of grief. They weep because they have loved and because they love still. Absence makes the heart grow warmer, not colder, and while time may temper wounds, it has no power to heal them.
They cannot plead that God would take their love away, for love is too precious and their loved ones too dear. They cannot plead that God would make them forget, for there is no forgetting ones who gave them such joy, who loved them with such fierce affection. They cannot plead that all would go back to the way it was, for the pathway through life leads in but one direction so that the way is always forward and never back.
But they can plead that God would gave them faith to trust, faith to believe, faith to endure—faith to trust that even this weighty trial will some day prove to be a light and momentary affliction, faith to believe in the word of the God who says he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, faith to endure with confidence that steadfastness will have its full effect within them, making them perfect and complete, so that they lack nothing.
As they awaken on Christmas morn, their eyes glistening with tears of sorrow and joy, their hearts longing for what was and what is, perhaps they—perhaps we—can pause for a moment to consider that though God has called us to bear this sore grief, it blooms from the very same stem that bears such sweet love. Perhaps we can pause to thank God that the degree of our grief simply proves the extent of our love. And perhaps we can pause to praise God for his gift of love, for in moments like these we have to acknowledge that it truly is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Good morning. Grace and peace to you today.

Crossway has some new Kindle deals for you to check out.
Logos users, the annual 12 Days of Logos sale has begun and is offering some good deals.
(Yesterday on the blog: The Ship Is Always Sailing On)
Father In Every Way But One
This is some excellent creative-devotional writing.
Fiscal Hilarity
There are some good thoughts here on generosity. “Years ago I decided that I would try to give more every year. I’ve not done this perfectly nearly every year since that little whimper of a desire was voiced to God. It wasn’t a vow and I’m under no obligation, but I am free to do it. Jesus never puts down radical givers. Remember the woman who gave all she had to live on?”
Snow
Rebecca VanDoodewaard reflects on the joy, beauty, and symbolism of snow.
The Good News Story
The Gospel is the air we breathe and need to breathe again and again. Whether you are just starting your journey of faith or have been traveling the road for years, discover how it all ties together in The Good News Story. Explore the Bible cover-to-cover to behold the grace, wonder, beauty, goodness, joy, and love of God in the person and work of Jesus! Watch and download this multi-video series and illustrated study guide for free at thegoodnewsstory.com. (Sponsored Link)
Somebody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen
“God the Son, ‘Immanuel,’ is not just a specialist; he is a sympathizer. He never just diagnoses and prescribes; he comes, draws near, feels, and cares. Not a truth merely for those perceived to be especially weak or victimized, this is gospel truth for every single one of us.”
“How Do I Decide Where to Go?”: Four Questions to Answer that Important Question
This will prove valuable to those who are wondering if/where the Lord is calling them to go.
Let us rediscover the power of forgiveness
Yes, let’s…
Flashback: Sin Is Immaturity
Sin is transgression, disobedience toward a known law or standard. Sin is iniquity, premeditated rebellion against God. And lately, especially as I’ve been examining my own life, I’ve also been seeing sin as immaturity. Sin is a failure to grow up.

We are so used to the patience of God that we are more stunned by his judgments than we are by his forbearance. —Jackie Hill Perry

One of Charles Spurgeon’s more interesting projects was to write a volume of illustrations, all of which were borrowed from the writings of Thomas Manton. Essentially, he would quote a short illustration from Manton, then expand it into a kind of devotional. The result was called Flowers from a Puritan’s Garden. Here is one of them, beginning with Manton’s original quote and then continuing with Spurgeon’s reflection on it.

“The ship holds on her course, and makes for the desired port, whether they on board sit, lie or walk, eat or sleep.”
Thus time is at all times bearing us onward to the land where time shall be no more. There is never a pause in our progress toward eternity, whether we trifle or are in earnest. Even while we read these lines the great ship is still speeding onward at the same rapid and unvarying rate. We shall soon see the shore of eternity; far sooner than we think! It becomes us to be ready for the landing, and for the weighty business which will then engage us, namely, judgment at the hands of Christ.
If we could lie becalmed a while and make no movement toward eternity we could afford to sport; but if we look over the ship’s stern we may see by her shining wake how she is cutting through the waves. Past time urges us to diligence, for it has reported us in heaven; and future time calls us to earnestness, for it must be short, and may end this very day. And then!

May the Lord bless and keep you this weekend.

Today’s Kindle deals include some older works and a newer one.
Are PhD pastors better pastors?
This question was recently asked in a roundtable. While the answers were just fine, Stephen Kneale did offer some further thoughts that I found helpful.
Rejoicing in Suffering
Guy Richard thinks of Paul rejoicing in his suffering and says, “Surely we all find this statement to be a little overwhelming. Some of us may even be intimidated by it. How can Paul say this? How can suffering be something that anyone rejoices in, ever?”
The Wonder and Joy of Advent
Barbaranne Kelly: “Amid all the tumult and strife of our weary world, we long for peace. Bombarded by cynicism and sarcasm we seek for simple, childlike wonder. Drowning in heartache and pain, we hope, however faintly, for joy.”
Where Are All the Heretical Bishops in the Second Century?
You don’t need to know a ton about church history to see the the importance of this question: Where are all the heretical bishops on the second century?
When Christmas Uncovers Difficult Memories
Lara d’Entremont looks at Mary’s prayer and a favorite psalm and asks, “What if this were our prayer this Christmas? I often get caught up in the whys. Why did God allow such a stressful birth? Why did God allow one of our twins to be so small and struggle so much? Why did he allow breastfeeding to be so difficult? Why did he allow my mental health to suffer so much during this?”
Linguistic Violence
Carl Trueman: “Once upon a time it was assumed that words reflected reality. At least, it was assumed that some words did, such as ‘man’ and ‘woman.’ That assumption in turn rested upon the notion that the world had a particular structure and shape. In our present age, both of these ideas are proving unpopular.”
Flashback: 10 Ideas and 10 Tips for Family Devotions in 2019
A new year is just about upon us, and as it dawns, we have a new opportunity to lead our families in devotions. Whether you’ve been utterly consistent or mightily struggling, here are 10 ideas and 10 tips that may help as you consider the year to come.

If God is holy, then he can’t sin. If God can’t sin, then he can’t sin against me. If he can’t sin against me, shouldn’t that make him the most trustworthy being there is? —Jackie Hill Perry

I’ve come to the conclusion that Aileen and I parent weirdly. But I’ve also come to the conclusion that so does everyone else. When each of us looks at other parents, there are almost invariably some components of their parenting we would love to imitate, but others that strike us as, well, a little bit weird. This is why it is rare, or perhaps even impossible, to find a parenting book that we would follow completely rather than only partially. And that’s well and good—every family is different, every set of parents unique, every context distinct from every other. While the Bible gives us the broad outline of parenting, it leaves us to fill in the details in ways we believe are most faithful.

John and Cindy Raquet parent as weirdly as any of us, but their weirdnesses generally overlap with my own, and it’s for that reason that I so enjoyed reading their book Purposeful and Persistent Parenting. Thirty-one brief chapters form a good-sized book that offers a helpful combination of theory and practice.
The Raquets begin in just the right place—with a look at grace-filled parenting, by which they mean a kind of parenting in which the parents acknowledge that they themselves are the recipients of God’s grace and are then eager to display a similar grace to their children. “As grace-filled parents our relationship with our children is not based on their performance. We love them whether they obey us or not. We act in their best interest whether they obey us or not. They are just as much our sons or daughters whether they obey us or not. Our relationship with them and attitude toward them is not contingent on how they respond to us.”
Another pair of crucial opening chapters counter contemporary attitudes by reminding readers that God counts children as a blessing more than a burden and that God’s calling on parents is not first to impress or befriend their children, but to simply parent them. “If God has given you children, then you can be confident that it is God’s will for you to parent them. It is imperative for us as parents to understand that our primary role is to be our child’s parent. When we feel like we need to be more than that, we lose confidence and can start second-guessing ourselves, to the point that we start looking to the child to be making decisions that we should be making.”
The chapters that follow deal with consistency in parenting, with helping children understand they are not the center of the family (or of the universe, for that matter), with spiritual training, with developing an orientation that counts others ahead of self, and with physical discipline. In other brief chapters they deal with mealtimes, sitting still, whining, reading together, doing chores, setting family schedules, and so on. They conclude with a strong call for parents to align themselves toward faithfulness more than results. “To be sure, God has set things up such that there is a strong connection between what we as parents do and how our children respond, but it is a wrong or even arrogant attitude to think that we completely determine how our children think and behave by our parenting.”
It bears mentioning that, by their own admission, the Raquets live with an unusually high level of intentionality and this shows in some of their practical guidance—such as a family schedule that breaks an entire week into 15-minute increments and something called “toy-time tapes” which must be the most Type-A practice I’ve ever encountered in any parenting book. That said, one of the book’s strengths is that the Raquets are clear that though we all must follow the Bible’s clear commands, the rest of what they offer is just their own advice that readers are free to follow or to shrug off. “We … don’t want you to feel overly burdened by anything we wrote if you are blessed with a more relaxed personality. There are times we would have been blessed to have a few more relaxed, easygoing personalities in our home! We are thankful that God has made His local family, the church, with many different body parts, all with unique functions and gifts, according to His good plans for a balanced, functioning body!” Thus, if you don’t appreciate something like their “blue-tape boundaries,” you can mine the principles behind the practice, then find your own way to implement them.
If there is a weakness to the book, it may be the relatively cursory focus on the local church. Though the Raquets do write about children and the church, it is largely in the context of teaching them to sit still or to behave themselves. Even in the chapter about determining whether children are saved or unsaved—a chapter that is otherwise excellent—they neglect to mention the importance of involving pastors in making that determination. Yet children need pastors as much as their parents do and some focus on teaching children how to relate to pastors and when to turn to them for prayer, counsel, and help, would have gone a long way.
And then there is the matter of inculturation. Every book is written within a particular cultural context and is wrapped in certain presuppositions. In this case, the book seems to presuppose that families will be intact with both parents present, and that families will have access to a certain level of means and the privileges that tend to come with it. So, for example, the Raquets strongly express their view that it is very important for parents to protect their children from non-Christian worldviews in their early years, yet there are many people for whom this is very nearly impossible. Think, for example, of a single mom who needs to work to support her family, leaving public schools as her only educational choice, or of families who live in settings where homeschooling is forbidden and Christian schooling unavailable. Similarly, in the chapters dealing with physical discipline, there is no provision for settings where, though spanking may be permitted, the use of an instrument is not (which means parents need to make a careful, thoughtful decision about how they will carry out physical discipline), or settings where spanking is altogether outlawed (which means parents need to make a careful, thoughtful decision about if they will carry out physical discipline). These may be areas where the authors could have made even more of a distinction between principle and practice. All that said, these are relatively minor matters and certainly do not substantially detract from the book’s great strengths.
I have often thought that one of the keys to improving your parenting is to find someone who shares some of your parenting philosophies, preferences, and even eccentricities and to deliberately learn from them. And that’s exactly what Purposeful and Persistent Parenting offers. And though my days of parenting little ones are now long past, I still enjoyed this book very much and learned from it. It is rare among parenting books in this way: I would gladly hand to young parents and tell them, “If you generally follow this book and generally hold to these principles, practices, and preferences, you will do just fine.” But I might also tell them to just skip that bit about toy-time tapes…

Buy from Amazon

May the Lord be with you and bless you today.

Can You Stand for Truth without Being Offensive?
“I often speak on controversial subjects: abortion, homosexuality, Islam, transgenderism, bioethics. These aren’t topics that are casually brought up over Christmas dinner and calmly discussed with out-of-town family. That’s why believers often ask me how they can stand for truth on controversial topics without being offensive. Here are three quick things I tell them…”
Too Busy to Read? Read More, Not Less
If you find you’re too busy to read, then maybe you’re thinking about things wrongly…
Questioning God
“Sometimes people act like you can’t ask questions in church life, as though you just have to ‘have faith’, which is true but not in the way that people who usually say it mean. I think they act like this because well-meaning people have told them so.”
WATCH KEITH & KRISTYN GETTY’S IRISH CHRISTMAS CONCERT FREE
Join Ireland’s own Keith & Kristyn Getty for a one-night-only livestream of Sing! An Irish Christmas—live from the Museum of the Bible! Gather your family and sing the songs of Christmas together again through soaring melodies and foot-stomping Irish-American renditions of your favorite Christmas hymns. RSVP today and receive a FREE digital download of our keepsake hymnal and program book featuring new songs from the Gettys, devotional material and advent readings, and more! (Sponsored Link)
‘Tis the Season for Regret?
Stephen Roberts: “Christmas is often filled with regret, especially when we compare the Hallmark ideal with the realities of life in a broken world. It shines a bright light on pasts that are often filled with trauma, the gaping wounds where love once was or should’ve been, and the hardships nibbling at us in the present. Before you drown yourself in mugs of warm eggnog, here are a few reminders for how to recover the reason for the season…”
Baby Jesus: Our High Priest and Sympathizer
“The Christmas season becomes more profound when we grasp this gift of Christ’s birth. We have a God who wanted to identify with our suffering to comfort us and give us strength in time of need. Hebrew 4:16 says, ‘Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.’”
Norway’s Shoddy Christmas Tree And The Nature Of Biblical Typology
Here’s the connection between a shoddy Christmas tree and the nature of biblical typology.
Flashback: Please Don’t Give Them Porn for Christmas
This Christmas a lot of children will receive porn from under the tree. It’s not what they wanted, and not what their parents intended for them to have. But they will get it anyway.

We can’t separate the Bible’s commands to do justice from its commands to be discerning. The oppressed deserve more than our good intentions. We must love them not merely with our hearts and hands but with our heads too. —Thaddeus Williams

Good morning. Grace and peace to you.

There are a couple of Kindle deals to look at.
We Should Trust God—But For What?
This is a good one from Cass Watson. “I cannot trust God to answer every prayer exactly how I want them answered. I cannot trust him to orchestrate my life so there is no suffering, toil, or disappointment. I cannot trust him to give me everything I want. I cannot trust him to stick to the timeline I had planned for my life.”
All of Our Nightmares Will Become Untrue
I remember these days well. “This past year, my seven-year-old son has been plagued by nightmares. Though he had experienced them many times before, they increased in regularity and we noticed him becoming anxious as bedtime approached.”
Please be gentle
“Gentleness is underrated and undervalued in the world and in the church. We prize power and authority and charisma. We want leaders who sound like TED talk speakers and who can capture our attention and hold it, leaders who are magnetic and whom we want to follow, who will impress our friends and family. Leaders who could do any number of jobs well and be recognised as leaders in their field. We also want to be that. We want all that because we have a Corinthian complex.”
Read And Then Judge
I hadn’t heard of Marie Dentière until reading this article, but she seems to have been a fascinating individual. “‘Read, and then judge’ – this was the title page of The War for and Deliverance of Geneva by Marie Dentière, published in 1536. For Marie Dentière, this was not just a sound piece of advice; it was a plea to her readers to judge the following words based on their content, and not the gender of their writer. Sadly, her advice often went unheeded.”
The Shortcomings of Scientism
Jimmy Wallace: “Scientism can be defined as ‘the view that the hard sciences alone have the intellectual authority to give us knowledge of reality,’ and that ‘at some stage in the future, science will be able to explain everything, and answer all our needs.’ Essentially, scientism is the belief that science is the beginning and ending of knowledge. However, there are several critical problems with this belief.”
Red Runs White (Video)
I’ve been really enjoying this song from Sow and Tether—a celebration of being in Christ.
Flashback: The Visionary Worrywart
The worrier takes upon himself a kind of prophetic role and allows his occasional successes in accurately predicting that awful future to establish his reputation as a person who understands what others miss.

God does sometimes keep us waiting for an answer to other prayers, but He never keeps us waiting one single second for an answer to our prayer for forgiveness. —F.B. Meyer

Of all the divine thoughts recorded in the pages of sacred writ, of all the promises God provides to humanity, perhaps none is more moving, none more blessed, none more needful than this: He gives his beloved sleep.

What would we give to those we love if we had all the power of God Almighty, if we could dispense any gift from his endless storehouse? We would give the courage of a hero, the voice of an angel, the wealth of a king, the strength of a champion. God makes no such promises. Rather, the promise God makes is this: He gives his beloved sleep.
What do we bestow upon the ones with whom we share our lives? We bestow many blessings but also many sorrows. We give with one hand and take with the other. We speak blessings and curses, we make memories that are wonderful and memories that are hurtful. We give both smiles that satisfy and tears that aggrieve. But the God who withholds no good thing from the ones he loves gives them sleep.
“Sleep well, my love” we sometimes say, though we know we have no power to soothe a heart that is troubled, a mind that is roiled, a body that is aching. “Sleep well, my love,” we whisper, though we know that the dreams may still come, the night may still be long and dreadful. Yet no nightmare may disturb and no pain endure when God gives his beloved sleep.
This world is marked by noise, this earth with reasons to moan, to weep, to wail. Our days are attended by many stresses, many strains, many sore anxieties. Though we crave rest and need it so very badly, too often it simply will not come. But always we can rest on this sweet promise: God gives his beloved sleep.
As the years pass by, as the body weakens and faith deepens, we come to embrace God’s promises, for we know we need them, we know that to be without the Word is to be without hope. As our age increases, so does our trust and our dependence so that the faith of a tired old man is the faith of a fresh-faced young child—faith in the God who gives his beloved sleep.
And at the end of our days on earth, when we have come to the close of our journey and drawn our final breath, our friends will gather to bid a fond farewell. And on that day, may one of them say, by faith, “Dry your eyes and think on the precious promise he counted so dear. Weep no more, for God has given his beloved sleep.”

Inspired by The Sleep by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

May the Lord bless and keep you today.

One Day (Far Side of Our Sorrow)
There is a lot of sweet hope in this song. “Hallelujah, there’s a far side of our sorrow / Hallelujah, there’s a hope beyond the grave / Today we mourn / But one day we won’t / So stand and sing the songs today / And grieve but not without hope.”
Wise Men Still Seek Jesus & How to Be Like Them
“However, if you’re not sure that the little baby in the manger is truly the King of the World, I invite you to do as the wise men did, go out and search for him. He is not hiding, and he is not lost.”
Opening the doors
This is another sweet reflection by Andrée Seu Peterson.
WATCH KEITH & KRISTYN GETTY’S IRISH CHRISTMAS CONCERT FREE
Join Ireland’s own Keith & Kristyn Getty for a one-night-only livestream of Sing! An Irish Christmas—live from the Museum of the Bible! Gather your family and sing the songs of Christmas together again through soaring melodies and foot-stomping Irish-American renditions of your favorite Christmas hymns. RSVP today and receive a FREE digital download of our keepsake hymnal and program book featuring new songs from the Gettys, devotional material and advent readings, and more! (Sponsored Link)
Confess with Your Mouth Jesus Is Lord
It’s worth asking: Is it quite right to speak about making Jesus your Lord and Savior?
Are There Differences between Christ’s Humanity and Ours?
There are deep waters to swim in here. “What kind of human nature did Christ assume in the incarnation? Was it the nature of Adam before the fall, a sinless nature but with the potential to disobey God and fall into sin? Or did he take a fallen nature, like Adam and his successors after the fall, with an in-built bias to sin? Or was it a nature preserved from sin and its associated contamination, and, if so, how could he still be one with us?”
Sin, Sorrow, and Joy of Christmas
“The lights glow softly, the Christmas music plays, and wondrous thoughts of the birth of our Savior fill our minds. What a blessing it is for the believer who still finds childlike joy at this time of year. Being ‘grown-up’ is a bit over-rated because being ‘grown-up,’ according to the world, usually entails a constant stiff upper lip and a cynical heart.”
Flashback: Moroni From the Realms of Glory
…you’ve got to be careful what you share online. What looks good at a glance may harbor some deep concerns.

If parents were half as diligent in praying for their children’s conversion as they are in keeping them from bad company, their children would turn out far better than they do. —J.C. Ryle

May the God of love and peace be with you today.

Logos users, the annual 12 Days of Logos sale has begun and is offering some good deals.
Today’s Kindle deals include a few good books.
(Yesterday on the blog: The Great Challenge of Every Marriage)
When the Soul Feels its Worth
“Under snow-frosted trees, with visible breath I ask it. Perhaps you’ve asked it too. Rinsing the dish I’ve rinsed a thousand times before, I wonder. Maybe you’ve wondered too. Do I matter? Am I seen?”
Can We Really Give God More or Less Glory?
Is it really possible to give God more glory or less glory? John Piper answers here.
Against an elder receive not an accusation
Denny Burk considers some of what’s wrapped up in the biblical admonition to not receive an accusation against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses (and how this applies not only to elders but to all Christians).
Take Risks for Your Days Are Numbered
“By and large, we live in a world that discourages risk-taking. Many of us, knowingly or unknowingly, have been conditioned to take the safe route through life’s twists and turns. I sometimes wonder how many people have been dissuaded from doing risky, world-changing things simply because it wasn’t ‘realistic’ or in line with ‘the way the world works.’”
God with us
I think you’ll enjoy this reflection on “God with us.”
A Message to Conservative Bible Thumping Christians
Todd Friel has a message to you/us.
Flashback: Jesus Isn’t Threatened by Your Christmas Gifts
We don’t threaten the wonder of the incarnation when we give nice gifts to the ones we love and when we look forward to receiving them.

We must carefully distinguish between self-denial as a matter of show and self-denial in doing God’s will and in the service of love. It is not the act itself that is beautiful but the love that is in the act. —J.R. Miller